- LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU. - OKAY.
- AND...
[laughter]
- HERE'S ELLEN. HERE'S THE WORLD.
[laughter and applause]
- SO YOU'RE IN "THE MILLERS"
WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND WILL ARNETT.
- WILL ARNETT. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
OKAY, SO WILL ASKS ME TO GO TO DINNER.
HE'S LIKE--'CAUSE I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN A FEW MONTHS.
THIS IS, LIKE, A YEAR AGO.
AND I'M LIKE, "YEAH, LET'S HAVE DINNER.
WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER. LET'S CATCH UP."
SO I HANG UP THE PHONE, AND HE GOES--
CALLS BACK AND HE GOES, "WHAT ABOUT SWITZERLAND?
LET'S GO TO SWITZERLAND."
I'M LIKE, "WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"
SO HE GOES--I'M LIKE, "OKAY, LET'S GO TO SWITZERLAND."
THEN I HANG UP THE PHONE; THEN HE CALLS BACK,
"SCRAP IT. LET'S GO TO ISTANBUL."
AND I'M LIKE, "ISTANBUL?"
WELL, WE KNOW HOW THE MIDDLE EAST LOVES THE GAYS.
SO--FANTASTIC.
I'M THERE WITH BELLS ON, LITERALLY.
SO--SO I'M LIKE, "YOU KNOW, WHEN DOES ANYBODY EVER ASK YOU
TO GO TO ISTANBUL," SO I'M LIKE,
"YEAH, NO, I'M NEVER GO THERE MY WHOLE LIFE.
I'VE HEARD IT'S GORGEOUS. LET'S GO."
SO WE GO. WE GET THERE.
I DIDN'T KNOW IT'S, LIKE,
THE THIRD LARGEST CITY IN THE WORLD
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
WE GET OFF; THERE'S MILLIONS OF PEOPLE, TONS OF TRAFFIC.
I'M LIKE, "WE COULD'VE JUST GONE TO NEW YORK."
BUT IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
I DON'T KNOW WHO'S BEEN THERE OR IF YOU WANT TO GO.
IT'S GORGEOUS.
WE SAW ALL THE HISTORICAL MONUMENTS THAT YOU SHOULD SEE.
WE SAW THE BLUE MOSQUE AND EVERY--
DO WE HAVE A PICTURE OF THE BLUE MOSQUE?
THERE IT IS.
AND SO EVERY-- AND SO EVERY PLACE WE WENT TO,
I CAME UP WITH A SONG.
SO THIS ONE WAS...
[singing] I DON'T KNOW MOSQUE
BUT I KNOW IT'S BLUE
AND THEN THE OTHER ONE WAS THE HAGIA SOPHIA.
DO YOU KNOW THE HAGIA SOPHIA?
OH, THERE IT IS. - UH-HUH.
- GORGEOUS, AMAZING. - GORGEOUS.
- AND THAT WAS...
[singing] IT'S THE HAGIA SOPHIA
IT'S THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT
AND WE--I THINK IT WAS THAT ONE OR THE BLUE MOSQUE--
I CAN'T REMEMBER--WHERE YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF
OUT OF RESPECT, WHICH EVERYBODY DID.
IT WAS VERY AMAZING.
LITTLE SMELLY. LITTLE SMELLY IN THERE.
NOT GONNA LIE. - WHERE DID YOU STAY?
- I STAYED AT A HOTEL ON THE BOSPHORUS,
WHICH WAS AMAZING.
THE BOSPHORUS IS LIKE A STRAIT OR, LIKE, A LITTLE RIVER
THAT DIVIDES EUROPE AND ASIA.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
AND I SAID TO SCOTTY, MY OTHER HALF--
I SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF AMAZING"--
I DID MY BEST SARAH PALIN-- I GO,
"I CAN SEE ASIA FROM MY HOTEL."
[laughter]
BUT YOU REALLY CAN. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN?
- NO. - OKAY.
SO YOU JUST HAVE TO GO. IT'S AMAZING.
SO YOU-- LITERALLY A BOAT RIDE.
YOU JUST GET IN, AND YOU'RE DONE.
AND IT'S, LIKE, YOU'RE IN ASIA.
IT'S SO CRAZY. BUT YOU'RE STILL IN TURKEY.
SPEAKING OF TURKEY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR THANKSGIVING?
[laughter]
YEAH, SO--
IS THIS THE LONGEST STORY IN THE WORLD?
- IT REALLY SEEMS LIKE IT. - OKAY, SO THEN WE--
[laughter]
- I ZONED OUT A LONG TIME AGO.
- TELL ME ABOUT IT, ELLEN.
OKAY, SO--
YOU ZONED OUT WHEN YOU PARKED YOUR CAR TODAY.
SO--OKAY, SO WE GOT--
SO THEN WE WERE FINISHED WITH THE TRIP.
IT WAS AMAZING, AND WE GOT BACK,
AND THEN, LIKE, TWO WEEKS LATER, I GET A CALL.
WILL'S LIKE, "DID SOMEBODY CALL YOU FROM CBS?
THEY WANT YOU TO DO THIS SHOW, 'THE MILLERS.'"
MONDAY NIGHT, IT'S 8:30 UNTIL JANUARY--
WE'RE ON THURSDAYS AFTER "BIG BANG THEORY."
AND THEN I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, IT'S SO BIZARRE.
WE JUST WENT ON VACATION. NOW WE'RE IN A SHOW TOGETHER."
IT'S JUST THE COOLEST THING.
- THAT'S THE GREATEST.
FIRST OF ALL, IT'S A FUNNY SHOW,
AND THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER MAKE IT EVEN FUNNIER.
THAT MUST BE-- THERE MUST BE TIMES
THAT WE SHOULD JUST WATCH REELS OF OUTTAKES, RIGHT?
- BY THE WAY--YES.
HIS FAVORITE THING TO DO TO ME--
LIKE, IF I HAVE MY SCRIPT--
CAN I BORROW YOUR SCRIPT, ELLEN?
WHEN I HAVE MY SCRIPT IN MY HANDS--
LIKE, HOLD THAT-- HE'LL DO THIS.
EVERY SINGLE DAY, HE'LL GO--
HE'LL JUST KNOCK IT OUT OF MY HAND.
I GUESS YOU HAD TO BE THERE. YOU GUYS, COME VISIT THE SET.
[laughter]
IT'S FUNNY, 'CAUSE YOU'RE CONCENTRATING.
HE KNOCKS THE THING OUT.
ANYWAY, IS IT TIME FOR COMMERCIAL?
I'M BORING MYSELF. - NO, NOT YET.
NOT YET, 'CAUSE WE WANT TO GET TO THE KISS.
YOU AND WILL KISSED. - OH, MY GOSH, THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH. THAT WAS ON THE--
- IS THAT YOUR FIRST KISS WITH HIM?
- [laughing]
YES.
THAT MY FIRST KISS WITH WILL ARNETT, YEAH.
YEAH, THAT WAS A STORY LINE FROM LAST WEEK'S EPISODE.
WHAT? OH, THERE IT IS.
YEAH. - YEAH.
- ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS? - YEAH.
- WE HAD TO DO THAT, LIKE, 25 TIMES.
HIS REQUEST.
[laughter]
BUT IT'S FUNNY.
IF YOU SAW IT ON MONDAY, IT WAS A FUNNY SHOW.
- IT'S VERY, VERY FUNNY,
BECAUSE AFTER HE-- THEY'RE PRETENDING
TO MAKE HIS-- YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND JEALOUS,
BUT THEN AFTER THE KISS, YOU GET GROSSED OUT
THAT A STRAIGHT MAN KISSED YOU.
- RIGHT. - SO IT'S THE OLD SWITCHEROO.