While you may be doing everything in your power to attract a mate, it may surprise you
to learn that some of your actions and behaviors can actually have the opposite effect on the
opposite sex.
In fact, you may not even realize that you're acting in a way that drives men away when
all you're really trying to do is draw them closer.
In order to take control of the situation and truly attract the right guys, avoid these
mistakes.
Hopefully you'll grab his attention rather than be left empty-handed.
Overdoing the makeup and hair
Everyone knows that loading up on makeup makes you look your most attractive, right?
Wrong.
As it turns out, piling on the stuff is not always appealing to guys.
"You wear too much eye makeup.
My sister wears too much.
People think she's a whore."
A study in The Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology revealed that women tend to overestimate
the amount of makeup that men find attractive.
As a result, many women end up applying way too much.
In other words, less is truly more when it comes to makeup's role in attraction.
It's in your best interest to opt for a natural look as opposed to caking it on for the guy
you're sweet on.
The same is true for your hair, too.
"Workin' it"
While you may spend a lot of time — and money — trying to perfect the intricate
updos and complicated styles that you see in magazines and on television, it turns out
men aren't attracted to overly done and processed hair.
In fact, a survey by Pantene revealed that 78 percent of men are drawn to women with
shiny, full, healthy-looking hair, rather than hair that's been overly styled and manipulated.
Specifically, loose curls and wavy hair are considered more appealing to men than excessively
flat-ironed slick-straight hair and complex updos.
So, opting for low-maintenance hair will yield high results when it comes to attracting members
of the opposite sex.
"You think I'm gorgeous."
"What?
I don't think you're gorgeous."
"You think I'm gorgeous.
You want to kiiiiss me!"
Being a gossip
It might seem fun to share the latest rumors, scandals, and stories involving the lives
of your friends, family, and coworkers with a guy.
But being a gossip is actually a major turn off.
Sure, you may intend to try to open the lines of communication with him and keep him in
the loop.
But it's giving him the lowdown on others' sordid deeds actually makes you come across
as having low self-esteem.
If you're looking to attract men, you should keep in mind that guys are drawn to women
who are confident, value themselves, and don't put others down as a way to lift themselves
up.
So the next time you're dying to dish to him about all of your friend's dirty laundry,
you should try to clean up your act instead.
Bad-mouthing your ex
You may think that bad-mouthing your ex around a new guy is a good decision, but this kind
of negative behavior actually makes you look bad instead.
Maybe you're trying to show a guy how much you're over your last beau, but constantly
criticizing your ex isn't attractive.
After all, not only does your need to put down your ex make you come across as spiteful
and juvenile, but your unrelenting fixation on your ex makes it seem as though you're
still harboring feelings for him.
Further, bad-mouthing your ex also shows any potential love interest that he could be next.
So rather than talking smack about your ex and venting about all the ways he wronged
you, leave the past in the past so you can attract Mr. Right in the here and now.
Being too needy
When it comes to attracting men, it's important to recognize that men want to feel as though
they're needed.
Specifically, men want to know that they add value to your life and that they're not superfluous,
expendable, or disposable.
However, many women mistakenly respond to a man's desire to feel needed by becoming
overly needy themselves, not to mention jealous and desperate to spend every waking moment
with him — all of which are anything but appealing behaviors to guys.
"And make sure to call me right when you get to the hotel, not like that conference in
Phoenix.
I had to wait two hours for you to call me"
So if you're someone who tends to become clingy and emotionally dependent on a man because
you think it'll bring him closer and inspire him to stick around, know that you're actually
just pushing him away.
On the other hand ...
Playing hard to get
While it's true that men are drawn to outgoing, assertive women, there's a fine line between
being independent and being unavailable.
Some women think that playing hard to get and acting in a distant and disengaged way
can help attract a guy, but you're making a mistake by not making time for him.
In fact, playing games can make you seem immature and can give off the impression that you're
not yet ready, willing, or interested in getting to know him on a deeper and more meaningful
level.
Acting detached and aloof doesn't increase your allure.
Instead, it makes you come across as uninterested, flaky, and just plain annoying.
Playing hard to get is an easy way to strike out with a guy.
Playing the damsel in distress
Many childhood fairy tales would have you believe that men are attracted to overly dramatic
women in need of rescuing.
But let's turn the page on this outdated way of thinking.
In reality, men aren't interested in drama, and if you take the "woe is me" approach in
the hopes of attracting a guy, you may be sad to see that seeking his attention by playing
the victim will only make you appear desperate and overdramatic.
Don't try to catch his eye by making catastrophes of certain situations, hoping it'll entice
him to come and save you.
Instead, you should save yourself the trouble by engaging in exercises that can help to
boost your self-esteem, as well as learning effective problem-solving strategies that
can help you to become more self-sufficient.
If you want to attract your very own Prince Charming, acting like Queen Drama is the wrong
approach.
Being a party girl
You may think that being the kind of gal who's down for whatever, goes out non-stop, and
is always looking for a good time is the way to attract a man.
But being an out-of-control party animal can come back to bite you.
In fact, most men try to stay away from party girls because these women have a tendency
to act recklessly, make poor decisions, and put themselves and others in uncomfortable
and potentially harmful situations.
Men are certainly interested in women who are confident, outgoing, and who like to have
fun.
But guys will draw the line when it comes to women who throw caution to the wind and
are always looking to party hard no matter the circumstances.
Rather than coming off as careless and immature, you should opt to party responsibly and enjoy
the positive responses you'll see from the guys around you.
Always agreeing with him
Believe it or not, always agreeing with a man can be a major turn off.
Don't be afraid to state your own opinions.
Be willing to disagree with him.
Don't avoid any conflict because you believe it'll drive him away.
It's actually a lack of openness, honesty, and authenticity that'll do just that.
After all, being able to express your true thoughts and feelings is what helps to strengthen
your connection and enables you to get to know each other on a deeper, more intimate
level.
The key is to be your true self — that way you can attract the right man who appreciates
the person you really are and not the person you think he wants you to be.
Remember, a guy isn't looking for a clone, so you should stop playing a part if you want
to be part of his life.
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