- Hey!
Oh my gosh, you came.
- I did. - Because I didn't...
I didn't think you were going to.
- Neither did I.
- But you're here.
- Reluctantly.
- (sighs) This is fun.
- Is it? - Oh God, look at us.
Back at it, you know, doing our thing.
Two amigos on another adventure.
- You realize I am normally here to give bad news usually.
- Yeah, but I'm, you know, I'm in the holiday spirit.
- Okay.
- So you got news for me or what?
Lay it on me.
- Well um, I'm from August so...
- I'm sorry.
Uh, pause.
Back it up.
Umm
What?
- I'm from August, 2021.
- So you waited eight months to come and visit me.
Do I mean nothing to you?
- No, I just--
- I have thought about you every moment.
- Well, I, I, I just kinda thought this shtick was over.
- Well it wasn't over for me.
- Okay.
I'm sorry.
Do you still wanna do this or?
- I just need a moment.
So are you gonna give me the news or what?
- Well I thought you needed a moment.
- Yeah, and I took it, and I'm good now.
So lay it on me.
- Oh, okay, well, there's the vaccine.
- Heard of it.
- And a stupid number of people aren't taking it.
- They're not taking the vaccine
for the pandemic that started this whole thing.
- I know.
- Do they know that that it's what we've been waiting for?
- I guess.
- And they know it will save lives,
like kind of like all the other vaccines have?
- I guess not.
- So all the trauma from the last year, all the lost jobs,
all the burnt-out essential workers,
all the deaths of friends and family members,
and then the vaccine kind of being
the light at the end of the tunnel,
and they're just... - Not taking it.
- Not taking it.
Mm hm hm.
- Mm hm.
- Just like that. - Yep.
- So for them,
they're looking at it and they're going yes or no,
and I choose no. - No.
Yep.
- Do they know that-- - Yep.
And that it's free to-- - Yep.
- Now that just kind of feels like a slap in the face.
- Oh just wait until you see
the comment section of this video.
- Ooh, very meta.
I like it.
What else is happening?
- Well, the variants got more varied.
- As they should.
- Jeff Bezos sent a dick rocket into space.
- Ooh.
Are we surprised? - Not really.
- He's really manifesting that Dr. Evil aesthetic.
I love that for him.
- Yeah. (chuckles)
Oh, and COVID-19 came from a Wuhan lab question mark.
- Why the question mark?
- Well we don't really know.
- How do we not know?
- I mean, the guys that work there say it's fine.
- Oh that seems pretty--
- But it's a lab dedicated to Coronaviruses
that's been under scrutiny by the epidemiologist community
for gain-of-function experiments,
which is creating lethal diseases that don't exist yet,
so they can find a cure before they naturally,
potentially get into the population.
- Sus.
That seems pretty sus.
- Just a little.
- A lot to take in today.
- I told you.
- Well, maybe you shouldn't have waited eight months.
- I'm sorry about that.
- Can we, ah, can we get good news?
Can we end with some good news?
- Sure.
Um, oh, they just finished the Olympics.
- Oh, that's fun.
So the, oh so Tokyo, their case numbers must be down.
- No.
- So how are the athletes not gonna get sick?
- They did, some of them, a little.
- So okay.
So they just, they trained for years and then they,
and then they get disqualified
because of a preventable illness.
- Yeah.
- Bummer. - Big time.
- I bet Simone Biles was good though.
- She was amazing.
She is amazing and brave.
And we are lucky to have her as a role model.
- I'm gonna be Simone Biles when I grow up.
- That's not gonna happen.
- You don't know that.
- Well, you're right, I guess.
- Do you wanna see my handstand?
- Okay.
(soft music)
(Past Self grunting)
- [Past Self] Are you looking?
Are you watching?
- It's really good.
- Hey?
- You went up and then you came down, that was special.
- Not too shabby.