>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, I'M BACK HERE WITH KEANU REEVES.
KEANU YOU'RE ALWAYS GREAT TO TALK TO.
>> THAT'S KIND.
>> Stephen: AND IT'S ALWAYS AN HONEST CONVERSATION, AN
INTERESTING CONVERSATION, WITH REALLY SURPRISING ANSWERS.
EVERYBODY LOVES SEEING YOU.
BUT HERE'S THE THING IS THAT PEOPLE THINK I GET TO KNOW THE
PEOPLE THAT I'M INTERVIEWING, AND IT'S SUCH A SHORT PERIOD OF
TIME TO ACTUALLY PENETRATE TO THE SOUL.
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: OF A HUMAN BEING.
AND I REALLY WANT TO KNOW MY GUESTS ON A DEEPER LEVEL.
SO WHAT WE DID HERE, "THE LATE SHOW"" LABS PUT TOGETHER A
SERIES OF 15 QUESTIONS.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: AFTER WHICH, ONCE THESE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ASKED
AND ANSWERED.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THE GUEST IS KNOWN FULLY.
>> OH, THE WHOLE THING.
>> Stephen: THEY ARE FULLY KNOWN.
>> THE WHOLE 15 QUESTIONS!
>> Stephen: 15 QUESTIONS.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ACTUALLY ARE ONE OF THE MAJOR
INSPIRATIONS FOR DOING THE COLBERT QUESTIONERT, BECAUSE
SEVERAL YEARS AGO I ASKED YOU A QUESTION ONE OF THE QUESTIONS
I'M ABOUT TO ASK YOU.
I HAVE YOUR ANSWER HERE.
BUT I'LL GET TO IT.
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THE ANSWER YOU GAVE US FROM ONE OF
THESE QUESTIONS, JUST A RANDOM QUESTION I ASKED YOU IN AN
INTERVIEW, ACTUALLY LED TO THE QUESTIONNAIRE AND PEOPLE WILL
KNOW IT WHEN I GET TO IT.
ARE YOU READY TO BE KNOWN, KEANU REEVES?
>> ABSOLUTELY NOT.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: KEANU REEVES.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH?
>> BEST SANDWICH, YOU MEAN, LIKE, FOR ME?
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: WHO ELSE WOULD YOU ANSWER FOR?
( LAUGHTER ).
>> I DON'T KNOW, YOU COULD SET UP AT YOUR LAB A WHOLE KIND OF,
YOU KNOW, WHAT WOULD GO INTO THE BEST SANDWICH-- BALANCE OF
FLAVORS AND -- >> Stephen: THAT IS A VALID--
THAT IS A VALID, IF HOSTILE RESPONSE.
>> OKAY, I'LL ANSWER THE QUESTION.
I'LL ANSWER THE QUESTION -- >> Stephen: FOR YOU, KEANU
REEVES.
I WANT TO KNOW YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW SANDWICHES.
TO KEANU REEVES, WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH, SIR?
>> TODAY I'M GOING TO CHOOSE TOASTED CRUNCHY PEANUT BUTTER
WITH A-- TOAST-- CRUNCHY PENET BUTTER WITH HONEY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: BOLD.
>> YEAH.
SWEET AND SAVORY AND CRUNCH.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE ONE THING THAT YOU OWN THAT YOU
REALLY SHOULD THROW OUT?
>> OH, GOSH.
ONE THING I OWN THAT I SHOULD REALLY THROW OUT?
I SHOULD REALLY THROW IT AWAY, REEVES!
WHAT'S IN YOUR-- WHAT-- IT'S SO DIFFICULT FOR ME TO THROW THINGS
AWAY.
I'M A BIT OF A PACK RAT.
>> Stephen: LOOK AT YOUR ATTIC.
LOOK AT YOUR GARAGE IN YOUR MIND.
>> WHAT SHOULD I THROW AWAY?
I DON'T WANT TO THROW ANYTHING AWAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER FOR THAT.
IT'S TOO MUCH.
>> Stephen: DO YOU LIVE A SPARTAN LIFE?
IS THERE NOTHING-- >> OBVIOUSLY, NOT.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, SO NOTHING.
EVERYTHING IS ESSENTIAL.
>> IT IS RIGHT NOW.
( LAUGHTER )
SCARIEST ANIMAL?
>> SCARIEST ANIMAL?
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID, I ALWAYS-- SPIDERS.
>> Stephen: YES, SIR.
>> SPIDER WITH THE THING AND -- >> Stephen: 100%.
THAT IS A GOOD ANSWER.
THAT'S A GOOD ANSWER.
>> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES?
>> APPLES.
>> Stephen: YES, BECAUSE YOU CAN PUT CRUNCHY PEANUT BUTTER ON
AN APPLE.
WHAT A COMBINATION.
>> IT'S SO GOOD.
IT'S SO GOOD.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR
AUTOGRAPH?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: MAY I ASK WHOM.
>> LOU REED.
>> Stephen: DID YOU GET IT?
>> YES, BUT IT WASN'T FOR ME.
IT WAS FOR A FRIEND.
>> Stephen: IT WAS FOR A FRIEND, ALL RIGHT.
>> AND HE WAS COOL ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: LOU REED WAS COOL ABOUT IT?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT THE FRIEND?
>> IT WAS COOL.
IT WAS A LITTLE PIECE OF PAPER AND BLUE INK.
IT WAS GOOD.
IT JUST SAID, "LOU REED."
>> Stephen: IT WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY DISAPPOINTING IF IT
DIDN'T SAY LOU REED.
>> IT COULD HAVE SAID, "ALL MY BEST."
>> Stephen: WITH ADMIRATION, HAVE A GREAT SUMMER, DON'T EVER
CHCHANGE.
LOU REEDEAD.
HAPPY HANUKKAH, LOU REED."
THIS IS THE ONE I ASKED YOU BEFORE.
>> I ASKED FOR ANOTHER ONE.
GEORGE CARLIN.
>> Stephen: DID YOU GET CARLIN'S?
I'M SO JEALOUS.
I'M SUCH A FAN.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
BEAUTIFUL.
BUT, YEAH, HE GAVE ME AN AUTOGRAPH.
>> Stephen: WOW.
>> AND, YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT WAS FOR YOU.
>> UH, YEAH, BUT I DON'T KNOW, I CAN'T SWEAR ON THIS SHOW, RIGHT?
NO.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN SWEAR, SURE GO AHEAD.
>> BUT IT WAS REALLY FUNNY, BECAUSE GEORGE CARLIN, HE-- HE
WROTE-- WHAT DID HE WRITE.
HE WROTE I THINK WAS, "DEAR KEANU ( BLEEP ) YOU."
YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S PRETTY GREAT.
>> YEAH.
( APPLAUSE )
>> AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS -- >> Stephen: THAT'S VERY SWEET.
>> AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT HE JUST WROTE THAT FOR ME.
AND THEN I MET SOMEONE ELSE WHO SAID THAT HE WROTE THE SAME
THING TO THEM.
( LAUGHTER )
>> YEAH!
ANYWAY... BEAUTIFUL.
( LAUGHTER )
QUESTION I'VE ASKED YOU BEFORE THAT INSPIRED THE ENTIRE COLBERT
QUESTIONERT SERIES.
I ASKED YOU, "WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE?"
AND YOU ANSWERED SEVERAL YEARS AGO...
>> I KNOW THAT THE ONES WHO LOVE US WILL MISUS.
>> Stephen: WHICH IS A LOVELY ANSWER.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO AMEND THAT ANSWER ANY WAY?
>> NO, I DON'T WANT TO AMEND THAT.
YOU'RE ASKING ME AGAIN?
>> Stephen: NO, WE CAN MOVE ON.
YOU'VE GIVEN ME THE ANSWER.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: THAT ONE HAS BEEN BANKED.
WE HAVE THAT ONE ON FILE.
FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE?
>> Stephen: OH, GOFN.
>> Stephen: AND YOU CAN BE IN IT.
IT'S OKAY IF YOU'RE IN IT.
>> REALLY?
>> Stephen: YOU CAN NAME ONE OF YOUR OWN MOVIES.
>> NO, BUT WHEN I WAS A KID, "ROLLER BALL."
>> Stephen: JAMES CAAN.
>> "JONATHAN!
JONATHAN!" YEAH, VIOLENCE, GAME, SOCIAL
COMMENTARY.
FANTASTIC.
>> Stephen: WINDOW OR AISLE.
>> WINDOW.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU DON'T MIND GETTING UP TO GO TO THE
BATHROOM AND MAKING THE PERSON ON THE AISLE TO STAND UP?
>> I HAVE THE VIEW.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE THE VIEW, OKAY.
FAVORITE SMELL?
>> TODAY I'M GOING TO PICK MY 1974 NORTON COMMANDO WHEN THE
ENGINE WARMS UP WHEN YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN A GOOD GO.
THE OIL IN THE ENGINE HEATS UP, AND THE SMELL THAT COMES OFF THE
ENGINE IS REALLY GOOD.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT.
THAT'S NICE.
CATS OR DOGS, SIR?
>> DOGS.
>> Stephen: DOGS?
>> YEAH, BUT I'M STARTING TO REALLY LIKE THE CATS, THOUGH,
TOO.
>> Stephen: YOU ONLY GET TO LISTEN TO ONE SONG FOR THE REST
OF YDUR LIFE, WHAT IS IT?
>> UH...
ONE SONG?
I'M GOING TO TAKE JOY DIVISION'S "LOVE WILL TEAR US APART."
>> Stephen: NICE.
GOOD RESPONSE OVER THERE.
WHAT NUMBER AM I THINKING OF?
>> SIX.
>> Stephen: NO.
>> THREE.
>> Stephen: YOULONLY GET ONE GUESS.
DESCRIBE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.
>> WHAT?
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.
>> WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT.
>> Stephen: IT'S NOT A QUESTION.
IT'S A DEMAND
THERE'S NO QUESTION MARK THERE.
>> OKAY, WELL, THEN I'M GOING-- I'M GOING TO BE HOPEFUL.
HEALTH.
LOVE.
FRIENDSHIP.
CREATE ART.
MOTORCYCLES.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
ARE KNOWN.
CONGRATULATIONS.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, KEANU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪ ♪ ♪