on the program this evening ladies and
gentlemen we're very excited we have a
gentleman we have a nobel prize winner
he's a professor robert mundell from
columbia university the 1990 nobel prize
winner in economics and all night long
he's going to come out here whenever we
want him to and he's going to tell us uh
redneck jokes
boxworthy i see
yeah
you you you might be a redneck if you
know those jeff foxworthy yeah the
professor is going to tell us those
jokes all night he earned the nobel
prize for his analysis of monetary and
fiscal policy under different exchange
rate regimes and his analysis of optimum
currency areas will he
and will he lecture on those things this
evening yeah all right so uh professor
mundell are you back there come on out
sir let's start off with a redneck joke
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[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
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[Applause]
okay take it away
if somebody accused you of lying through
your tooth you might be a redneck thank
you very much
[Applause]
[Music]
all right let's you got another one
loaded up professor yeah let's go again
all right
if your kid calls your sister mom you
might be a redneck
[Music]
all right
try one more and then we'll rest
if your boat has not left the driveway
in 15 years you might be a redneck
[Music]
professor robert mundell ladies and the
nobel prize winner from columbia
university
ladies and gentlemen once again nobel
prize winner robert mundell with a
redneck joke
professor mundell
if your lifetime goal is to own a
fireworks stand you might be a
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[Applause]
redneck i kind of like that one how
about another redneck joke from the
nobel prize winning doctor professor
mandel
[Applause]
if you have more pet names for your
hunting dog than for your girlfriend you
might be a redneck
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[Applause]
uh and now ladies and gentlemen once
again here's professor robert mundell
with a redneck joke professor
if you've ever been too drunk to fish
you might be a redneck
[Applause]
right now we have time for one more you
might be a redneck if joke from
professor robert mundell professor if
there are hubcap ruin times anywhere on
your block you might be a redneck
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[Applause]
and all night long uh professor mundell
will be telling your mama jokes
yo mama yeah
ladies and gentlemen professor mandel
there he is come on
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[Applause]
all night long
yo mama jokes
take it away professor
yo mama's so fat her blood type is ragu
all night long the nobel prize winner
right there
thank you very much professor we'll
check back in with you in a second there
are you ready with another one
take it away here he is professor robert
mundell
your mom is so fat that when she puts on
high heels in the morning by the
afternoon their flats
he was in march remember he was here in
march and he that that night he was
telling redneck jokes yes yeah like jeff
foxworthy you might be a redneck yeah
tonight they're yo mama jokes how about
another one
your mom is so fat when she sits around
the house she sits around the house
those nobel prize winners are funny all
right uh professor one more joke before
we go to commercial
your mom is so fat at the zoo elephant
start throwing her peanuts yeah there
you go
elephants
now also all night long professor robert
mundell nobel prize winner telling your
mama jokes professor
yo mama's so fat when her beeper goes
off people think she's backing up
[Music]
wow
you know who he studies with up there at
columbia the doctor he studies with
uh i've heard about it dr vinnie boombox
very good
professor you ready you want to go again
you want to hop in here
all right take it away
your mom is so fat she put on her
lipstick with a paint roller
and now uh once again ladies and
gentlemen another yo mama joke
your mom is so fat she puts mayonnaise
on aspirin
what a treat we have for you folks
tonight all night long
1999 nobel prize winner professor of
economics at columbia university robert
mundell will be telling rodney
dangerfield jokes oh all night long
a nobel prize winning professor of
economics
robert mundell
telling rodney dangerfield jokes
professor take it away
[Music]
my wife was afraid of the dark then she
saw me naked and now she's afraid of the
robert mundell
nobel prize winner from columbia
university
all night long
telling rodney dangerfield jokes i love
it nobel prize winner that's right
that's exactly once again is professor
robert mundell nobel prize winner with a
rodney dangerfield joke professor
i drink too much the last time i gave a
urine sample it had an olive in it
i think he may be going to donald
trump's hair guy
at least his colorist
ladies and gentlemen once again nobel
prize winning professor robert mundell
robert take it away
i was so ugly my mother used to feed me
with a slingshot
now once again ladies and gentlemen
professor robert mundell take it away
bob
my wife's cooking is so bad that the
flies pitched in to fix the screen door
surprised in the spin-off 1990 nobel
prize winner how about another rodney
dangerfield joke from dr robert mundell
professor
i'm taking viagra and drinking prune
juice
i don't know if i'm coming or going
that's right
it's like rodney never left god rasta
and now ladies and gentlemen here is uh
professor robert mundell one more time
1999 nobel prize winner professor
i went to the doctor and told him
doctor every morning when i get up and
look in the mirror i feel like throwing
up what's wrong with me
he said
i don't know
but your eyesight's perfect
professor do you have another joke for
us please
i don't get no respect
my psychiatrist told me i was crazy and
i said i want a second opinion
he said
okay you're ugly too
we're very excited because uh i guess
it's tomorrow night the 48th annual
grammy awards are taking place right
here on cbs and because of the grammy
awards tomorrow night all night long
here on the late show we have this is
going to be good 1990 nobel prize winner
and economics professor 1999
1999 nobel prize winner in economics
professor robert mundell who will recite
the lyrics to grammy-nominated songs
1999 nobel prize winner robert mundell
professor come on out
[Music]
girl you had me once you kissed me my
love for you is not iffy i always want
you with me i'll play bobby and you play
whitney
if you smoke i'll smoke too that's how
much i'm in love with you
don't funk with my heart
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you very much
professor mandel
grammy-nominated songs all night long
ladies and gentlemen once again uh
robert mundell with more
grammy-nominated lyrics professor
let me hear you say
this is bananas
b-a-n-a-n-a-s
this is bananas
b-a-n
again
this is bananas
b-a-n-a-n-a-s
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
professor robert mundell
i thought for a second we were getting a
call from stockholm
might have been you never know but right
now ladies and gentlemen all night long
reciting grammy-nominated lyrics we have
1990 nobel prize winner and economics
professor robert mundell professor
i shake it like jello
and make the boys say hello
i'm five foot two i want to dance with
you
and i'm sophisticated fun i eat filet
mignon
[Applause]
a sophisticated fund
he eats filet mignon ladies and
gentlemen we have kind of a special
treat for you now
uh robert mundell uh 1990 nobel uh prize
winner will now uh recite the lyrics
from destiny's child hit bootylicious
professor
i shake my jelly at every chance when i
whip with my hips you slip into a trench
i'm hoping you can handle all this jelly
that i have now let's cut a rock while
we scat some jazz
i don't think you're ready for this
jelly i don't think you're ready for
this jelly i don't think you're ready
for this because my body too
bootylicious for you babe
[Applause]
[Music]
i think we are ready for that 1999
professor robert mundell
the nobel prize winner we'll be right
back with stephen a smith