ISN'T THAT AMAZING?
( heartbeats)
WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE SEEING HERE?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT I THINK IT'S ABOUT
TO ATTACK THE ENTERPRISE.
IF YOU TILT YOUR HEAD TO THE LEFT AND RELAX YOUR EYES
IT KIND OF LOOKS LIKE AN OLD POTATO.
THEN DON'T DO THAT ALRIGHT OK
♪ They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch ♪
♪ But soon they'll grow up and resent you so much ♪
♪ Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why ♪
♪ And you cry and you cry and you cry ♪
♪ And you cry and you cry and you.. ♪♪
- Thanks, Ross. - Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.
- Okay? - Okay.
Oh, hi, Phoebe, um..
...we were just at the drugstore
um, so we got you a little present.
Oh. Oh.
Um, it's a lollipop
and, uh, a home pregnancy test.
Hey, don't mix those up.
You could really ruin that lollipop.
So, um...you feel like taking a test?
There's only one question.
[laughing]
I'M, UM, PHOEBE BUFFAY
AND I HAVE BABIES COMING OUT OF ME.
OKAY. HAVE YOU STARTED HAVING CONTRACTIONS?
NOT YET. I HEARD THEY REALLY HURT.
DO THEY HURT?
OH. WELL...
OH, MY GOD.
NOW, WHICH OF YOU IS THE FATHER?
NO, NONE OF THEM ARE THE FATHER.
THE FATHER IS MY BROTHER.
OKAY.
I AM SO GOING TO MISS
WATCHING YOU FREAK PEOPLE OUT LIKE THAT.
WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU; YOU'RE AMAZING.
I KNOW.
DOES IT REALLY HURT AS BAD AS THEY SAY?
YEAH. YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE IT.
Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Yeah.
Guess so.
Ooh, check these out.
Oh...
Never done this before.
Yeah, well, it looks great.
I can't believe this.
And yet, somehow, it's true.
I mean, this is so great.
We're going to be baby buddies.
( laughs)
Squeeze your legs together
and cover the baby's ears.
Hiya, sweetie.
Hi. Hi, sweetheart.
And this is my husband Sid.
I don't think you've met him.
Ross, Rachel, this is Sid.
Hi. Hi.
I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologist's office.
Thank God for adult acne, huh?
( laughs)
I still can't believe it.
I'm the luckiest guy in the world.
Really?
Mother of God, it's true.
Chandler Bing!
( laughs)
J-Janice.
Not just Janice.
Janice in labor.
Contracting and everything.
Oh, this should be easy.
I have a very wide pelvis.
You remember, Chandler?
( laughs)
♪ She sweat, wet, got it goin' like a turbo Vette ♪
♪ So, fellas ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Fellas ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Has your girlfriend got the butt ♪
♪ Hell yeah ♪ ♪ So shake it ♪
♪ Shake it ♪ ♪ Shake it ♪
♪ Shake it ♪ ♪ Shake that nasty butt ♪
♪ Baby got back ♪
♪ One more time from the top ♪
♪ I like big butts and I cannot lie ♪
♪ You other broth.. ♪♪
Rachel, please, that is so inappropriate.
[theme music]
"Candy and Cookie"?
Monica got me porn?
Girl-on-girl porn?
She really must love me!
( woman breathing hard)
MAN: Yeah, just relax.
I love you, St. Valentine.
( woman breathing, moaning)
Whoa, whoa, that's not pretty.
MAN: Now, push.
( woman yelling)
Worst porn ever, worst porn ever!
( screaming ): Oh, make it stop!
I am trying.