- I think this is the only job I haven't quit.
(light jazzy music)
- My first job was working at a toy store,
and I was 16 and I was really, really skinny.
They would have these events where they'd
rent this Hello Kitty costume
and I was the only person who could fit in it.
- My first job was when I was 15 years old
at the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo.
My job was to walk around the
Roaring Lion Cafe picking up trash,
and I pulled out a bag
and I looked down and there was a mother yelling
and there was like a milky white liquid
pouring on her baby's head.
- My first job was an employee at Hot Dog on a Stick
and you have to wear these terrible, terrible outfits.
Every time you made new batter for the corn dogs
you would like, whisk it up, and then you would
have to yell to the whole entire food court "Batter Up!".
- I was in a lot of character costumes,
I did Hello Kitty, this giant teddy bear called Muffy,
a Groovy Girl, and I was also Curious George in a parade.
And Curious George was really hard because it was so hot.
- My worst job was at a clothing retail store.
We had to fold with precision and people would come in
and immediately mess up the fold.
Sometimes people would be like
"Do you think this looks good?"
and it's like "Do you think it looks good?
"I don't know, where you goin'?"
- The worst job I ever had was what is considered
categorically the worst job in America,
which is a file clerk in a hospital.
- I, like, was fired and quit at the same time,
but mainly because I told this lady I was gonna quit
and then she told me I was fired anyway.
- I quit Friendlys, I quit American Eagle, I quit,
I mean, I don't even have enough fingers.
- Tons of horrible day work in factories.
Look at this, this guy can't work in a,
I can't work in a factory, what are you talkin' about?
- Sometimes you gotta get fired,
cuz you got to get the hell out of there.
- I made up a lie that it was a family emergency
and left a week before I was supposed to
cuz I just couldn't handle it any more.
I even fake cried.
- I've learned to be a good worker
from my working career, no matter where I worked
I was good at my job.
- If you're going to have a shitty job,
do it with a friend of yours so you can be shitty together.
- Be careful when you sit on Hello Kitty's lap.
Also just don't get too handsy with Hello Kitty,
you don't know who's inside.
Or for any mascot for that matter.
Keep like a five foot distance.