All of us parent and respond to feelings from the models we had growing up.
How did your parents deal with sadness?
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Mom. What's wrong, honey?
Mom. What's wrong? Oh my gosh, what's wrong? What happened?
Oh my gosh. What happened?
Tell me. The hamster's dead. The hamster died?!
What were you doing? Were you playing with it? What did you do, honey? Oh my gosh, how could you let the hamster die?
Charlie died. Charlie died?
We'll get another one.
We'll get you another one. You know what,
I know exactly who's got more, okay? But... No, we have to get another one. We
have to do this. We have to get another one. I'm going to fix this for you. We'll get
another one, okay? But, mom, he's...
You know what let me just get this turned off. Okay,
alright, you see, yeah, I know, I know let's just, you know what? Forget
Charlie. We're gonna get you another one, a healthy one. I don't think Charlie was
healthy. I think that's the problem, Charlie wasn't healthy at all.
We're going to get you a healthy one. Let's just go right now. Come on, I'll get my purse, I'll get my coat.
Dismiss
Mom. Oh, what's that look on your face?
What are you giving me that look for, honey? Mom... What? My hamster died.
Your hamster died? Yeah, yeah, they do that sweetie, you know, we talked about
this when you got the hamster. Remember how we said sometimes they don't last very
long.
Yeah, it's just, yeah. He's, he's, his little body's just...
Yeah that's what they do and they get stiff, yeah you probably noticed that. Yeah, we'll take care
of it. I'll have, you know what I'll have your dad take care of it. I don't want to touch him.
I don't want to touch him. It's not a big deal, sweetheart, it's not a big deal.
It's not... But Charlie, he's... I know, Charlie did a lot of stuff,
and remember, we talked about this when we were at the pet store. Hamsters,
they come and go. They're like a dime a dozen. So it's not a big deal,
you're going to be fine you, you're fine. I'll never get another
hamster
as long as I live.
Awww, well that's, hopefully you'll rethink that, sweetheart. Hopefully
you'll just rethink that.
Punish
Mom.
Mom. What now? Oh my gosh, what now?
What?! Okay,
okay, the hamster! My hamster died, Charlie, my hamster. You know what,
didn't we just talk about this?
You take no responsibility for things. Look at this!
Who puts your clothes away every day? You take no responsibility for anything. No wonder he
died.
I saw you in there with him. You were not,
this is just so irritating to me... I fed him, and I watered him.
You did not. You did not. I did take care of Charlie. This is your fault.
I took care of Charlie. This is your fault and you know it.
I hate you. You can hate me all you want.
I hate you, too.
Ignore
Mom.
Ohh, hi honey. Mom. Yeah? Hi.
You know Charlie? Yeah, I know Charlie.
Charlie, that rodent you have in your room.
Charlie, he died. Awwww. I just found him, he's in the room, he's laying there.
It's like he was, he was...
Okay, can you take these back to your room when you go and then you can take
care of that. Just wrap him in, here,
just wrap him in there. That would be great, okay.
Oh, and don't put those on your bed. Hang them up, sweetheart.
You need to hang them up. Yeah, that's a good girl. Yeah,
go ahead. Charlie's dead. Yeah, and Charlie,
when you wrap him up make sure he gets into the trash. That would be great.
Okay, alright. Go ahead honey. It's, everything's good.
Go.
Coach
Mom.
Oh honey, hi. Mom.
My hamster died.
I was just in the room and he was going...
Oh, honey, that is, that's so hard. He's dead. You loved that hamster.
I named him Charlie... And Charlie's dead.
We're not going to flush him in the toilet like the fish, are we?
No sweetie. No. We'll take care of what's going to happen, but right now,
right now... Mommy, Charlie's gone.
Yeah, Charlie's gone. Oh, honey, that is so
hard. I know this is hard, when something like this
happens. Mom, make it better.
Make it better. You've got to do something. Charlie's dead.
Yeah, Charlie's dead, and that is, that's really hard.
You loved Charlie so much. I loved Charlie. You were so good with Charlie, too.
Yeah. Now he'll never do it again!
When you're ready,
we'll decide what's best for parting with Charlie.
And we're going to get through this together. We are. You are not alone.
You're not alone. You'll be there for me. Yes.
In fact we're going to be there right now, together. Let's go right now
and we'll take care of it. Little Charlie. Okay, mom.
Let's go.
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For other versions of these videos and personal commentary by Dr. Becky Bailey, visit us at www.youtube.com/lovingguidance