IT'S THE SIXTH ANNIVERSARY OF OUR VERY FIRST EPISODE OF "THE
LATE LATE SHOW!" [APPLAUSE]
SIX YEARS!
THE CRAZIEST PART?
FIVE OF THOSE YEARS HAPPENED DURING 2020.
[LAUGHTER] IF YOU TOLD ME, SIX YEARS AGO,
WE'D BE DOING THE SHOW FOR NO AUDIENCE IN A SOMEWHAT DARK
STUDIO, I WOULD HAVE BELIEVED YOU.
I WOULDN'T HAVE BELIEVED HOW WE GOT HERE, BUT I DEFINITELY WOULD
HAVE BELIEVED YOU.
I'M TRYING TO WORK OUT -- I WAS TRYING TO THINK TODAY, I DON'T
KNOW WHETHER IT'S FLOWN BY OR FELT LIKE A LIFETIME.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
HAS IT FLOWN BY?
>> Ian: IT'S JUST REALLY HARD, MAN, BECAUSE IT'S JUST LIKE --
IT JUST -- IT KIND OF FEELS LIKE IT'S JUST CRUISING THROUGH BUT
THERE IS TIME -- I DON'T KNOW, IT FEELS LIKE IT'S FLOWN BY, I
GUESS.
>> James: IF YOU HAD TO PICK A FAVORITE MEMORY, WHAT WOULD IT
BE OVER THE PAST SIX YEARS?
>> IT'S A TWO-WAY TIE FOR ME, EITHER DOING THE LES MISERABLE
WALK IN PARIS.
IT WAS AMAZING IN FRONT OF THE ARC DETRIUMPH OR THE PIZZA BOX
IN LONDON.
ONE BIT TOO MANY.
>> James: HA-HA.
THAT WAS NOT FUN.
>> FOR ALL OF US.
>> James: YOU'RE RIGHT.
I OFTEN THINK ABOUT WHEN WE WENT TO PACE TOKER DO THAT, .
I WONDER HOW FRENCH PEOPLE WOULD REACT AND THEY REACTED EXACTLY
AS YOU THINK THEY DID.
THAT'S EXACTLY IT.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, REG?
ANY HIGHLIGHTS?
>> Reggie: I REALLY LIKE THE MOMENT WITH YOUNG -- NO,
CHILDISH GAMBINO.
>> James: WHEN YOU SUNG WITH HIM?
>> Reggie: YES.
>> James: YES!
>> Reggie: SEEMS LIKE IT CAME AND WENT.
IT WAS COOL THE WAY IT CAME TOGETHER BECAUSE -- YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE I KNEW THAT HE -- YOU KNOW, PEOPLE SUGGESTED THAT YOU
GUYS SHOULD DO SOMETHING BUT I KNEW IT WASN'T LIKE THAT.
IF IT HAPPENED, IT WOULD HAPPEN AND IF NOT -- THAT'S WHAT I TOLD
HIM IN THE MAKEUP CHAIR.
IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING GOOD COOL, ALL RIGHT.
NO WORRIES.
IF NOT -- THE BAND PICKED UP ON IT.
IT WAS AWESOME.
>> James: IT'S ONE OF THE COOLEST BITS WE DID ON THE SHOW.
ROLL THE CLIP.
>> HOW ABOUT.
[BEAT BOXING] ♪ ALL RIGHT
♪ ALL RIGHT WHEW-HO-HOO ♪ I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY THAT I
WANT TO BE ON THIS SHOW ANY WAY ♪ I WANT TO DO IT, REGGIE'S ON
THE MICROPHONE ♪ THAT MEANS I'M NOT EVER ALONE
♪ I GOT TO DO IT [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ I GOT TO DO IT ♪ I GOT TO DO IT
♪ I GOT TO DO IT ♪ NOW WE KNOW IT ALL ALONG
♪ YEAH ♪ YOU KNOW I'M FEELING LIKE I'M
AT HOME ♪ BUT NOTHING'S EVER SCARY OR
BORING ♪ BECAUSE I GOT MY FRIEND JAMES
CORDEN ♪ LET ME KNOW
♪ LET ME KNOW ♪ LET ME SNOW
♪ LET ME KNOW, REGGIE -- GIVE ME A SOLO.
[MAKING MUSIC VERBALLY] ♪ OH, OH, OH, OH, WHEW
♪ CAN YOU FEEL IT ♪ OH, OH.
JAMES CORDEN, BREAK IT DOWN FOR ME.
1, 2, 3, GO.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> James: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
GENTLEMEN, JIMMIE JOHNSON, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
>> WHEW!
♪ HEY ♪ YOU GOT ME GROOVING
>> James: OH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [APPLAUSE]
>> James: LOOK AT THAT.
I'VE NEVER LOOKED MORE WHITE THAN I DID THEN.
[APPLAUSE] I LOOKED LIKE A WHITE GUY A LOT.
I NEVER LOOKED MORE WHITE IN THAT MOMENT.
TRYING TO JOIN IN BUT KNOWING NO ONE WILL GIVE ME A MICROPHONE.
AT ONE POINT, HE'S LIKE -- NO.
YOU SHOULD JUST LIKE -- HA-HA.
BUT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT WAS A COOL MOMENT OF WHICH YOU HAVE GIVEN THIS SHOW MANY,
MANY COOL MOMENTS.
REGGIE, YOU HAVE.
TODAY IS NOT ONLY SPECIAL BECAUSE IT'S OUR SIXTH
ANNIVERSARY, TODAY IS ALSO REGINALD WATTS' BIRTHDAY.
WHAT ABOUT THAT?
[APPLAUSE] HOW WAS IT?
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
WHAT DID YOU DO?
>> Reggie: GOOD.
GOT REALLY GOOD SLEEP.
WOKE UP TO NICE MESSAGES FROM GREAT FRIENDS AND WORKED OUT
WITH MY TRAINER.
>> James: YOU DIDN'T EVEN SKIP LEG DAY TODAY?
>> Reggie: I COULDN'T.
THAT'S A BIRTHDAY PRESENT TO ME.
>> James: YOU KNOW WHAT?
AVENUES YOUR BIRTHDAY, WE -- AS OF YOUR BIRTHDAY, WE DECIDED YOU
ONLY HAVE TO WORK ONE HOUR TODAY.
>> Reggie: NO WAY.
>> James: AND EVERY DAY FOR TE PAST SIX YEARS.
DO YOU EVEN CONSIDER THIS GOING TO WORK?
OR WHEN ARE YOU DRIVING IN, IS THIS JUST THE PLACE WHERE YOU
EAT A SALAD?
I'M GOING INTO MY LUNCH BOX.
>> Reggie: THIS IS MY FAVORITE LUNCH SPOT FOR SURE.
IT'S AMAZING.
IT'S GREAT.
I GET TO PLAY MUSIC AND LISTEN TO INTERESTING STORY AND LAUGH A
LOT AND LOOK AT DOLICS FLOATING AROUND ON THE FLOOR.
IT'S GREAT.
>> James: IT'S EVERYONE'S DREAM.
LISTEN, ENOUGH ABOUT BIRTHDAYS AND SIX-YEAR ANNIVERSARIES.
YOU DON'T WIN A PULITZER PRIZE TALKING ABOUT THAT.
I THINK THAT'S WHERE WE'RE HEADING BECAUSE IT'S TIME FOR
THE NEWS.
AS PART OF PRESIDENT BIDEN'S "BUILD BACK BETTER" INITIATIVE,
HIS ECONOMIC ADVISERS ARE NOW PREPARING A SWEEPING
THREE-TRILLION-DOLLAR JOBS AND INFRASTRUCTURE PACKAGE.
BIDEN'S BUILD BACK BETTER BARRAGE.
INCLUDES THE EXPANSION OF BROADBAND AND 5G.
BUSINESSES, BRIDGES, BYWAYS, BOOKS, BROADBAND, BEARS,
BUNNIES, BIRDS, AND BEAUTIFICATION.
ANY MORE?
>> BIRTHDAYS.
>> BEACHES, BREWSKIS, BROS AND BABES!
>> James: OH, COME ON.
HE'S BROUGHT IT THROUGH.
HE'S BROUGHT IT THROUGH!
BIDEN WANTS TO INVEST HEAVILY INTO THE NATION'S
INFRASTRUCTURE, UPGRADING THE SAFETY OF ROADS, BRIDGES, AND I
IMAGINE STAIRWAYS.
HE REALLY TOOK A TRIPLE FALL UP THE STAIRS.
WE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT THAT WHEN IT CAME OUT BUT THAT'S LIKE --
THAT MUST BE -- BECAUSE NORMALLY WHEN YOU FALL OVER, IT'S BAD
ENOUGH AND YOU'RE HOPING NO ONE SAW IT.
BUT WHEN YOU FALL OVER THREE TIMES, YOU GET TO THE TOP,
YOU'RE LIKE, "DO YOU RECKON THEY CAUGHT THAT?"
[LAUGHTER] "MR. PRESIDENT, I THINK THEY
DID."
[LAUGHTER] DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME
WHEN I DROVE INTO WORK TODAY?
RIGHT?
I DROVE INTO WORK, TRUE STORY, DRIVING IN, COMING PAST ME,
DRIVING IN, COMING PAST ME, MATT MATTE BLACK DODGE CHARGER, GIRL
BLOND HAIR AND I WAS LIKE, OH MY GOD, THAT'S BILLIE EILISH.
THAT'S BILLIE EILISH, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, SHE TALKS AND THE CAR
IS IN THE FILM.
SHE TALKS A LOT ABOUT IT.
SHE'S DYED HER HAIR BLOND.
THAT'S BILLIE EILISH.
I THOUGHT THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT.
I LOAD UP "BAD GUY" AND I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO CRUISE UP PAST
HER AND BE LIKE, "DUH" AND SHE'D BE LIKE, YOU'RE HILARIOUS AND
WE'D DRIVE ON.
BRILLIANT.
SO I'M LIKE -- SHE'S LIKE A FEW CARS AHEAD WITH THE LIGHTS AND
I'M LIKE, OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE SO GOOD.
I PULL UP IN THE CAR, ♪ I'M A BAD GUY, DUH ♪
AND I'M HUMMING -- WASN'T BILLIE EILISH.
IT WAS A GIRL WITH A DOG LOOKING AT ME LIKE LOOKING LIKE I WAS --
YOU KNOW, SHOULD BE ON THE SEX OFFENDERS' REGISTRY.
SHE WAS LOOKING AT ME LIKE I WAS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, GRAND DAD."
AND I WENT -- HA-HA.
AND DID YOU SEE THIS?
PRINCE HARRY HAS GOT A NEW JOB!
IT WAS ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT HE'S TAKEN A POSITION AS AN EXECUTIVE
AT A SILICON VALLEY STARTUP CALLED BETTERUP.
HIS TITLE WILL BE CHIEF IMPACT OFFICER.
AT SILICON VALLEY STARTUP BUT HE'LL ALSO GO BY "THE IMPACT
OFFICER FORMERLY KNOWN AS 'PRINCE.'"
CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING A PRINCE AND SUDDENLY YOU HAVE TO DEAL
WITH, LIKE, MUNDANE OFFICE DRAMA?
THERE'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE SOMEONE IS LIKE, "UM,
HARRY, SORRY, I SAW YOU EATING A STRING CHEESE FROM THE, UM, FROM
THE OFFICE FRIDGE.
JUST SO YOU KNOW, I BRING THOSE FROM HOME FOR MYSELF SO..."
HA-HA.
GUILLERMO, WHAT'S WITH THE CLASSES TONIGHT, MAN?
>> JUST NEEDED A CHANGE, JAMES.
>> James: I LIKE IT.
BUT I CAN'T ALWAYS READ THE DISAPPOINTMENT IN MY JOKES.
HA-HA.
IT'S HARDER -- IT'S HARDER FOR ME TO KNOW HOW -- NO, BECAUSE
NOW IT JUST LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE FLIRTING WITH ME BUT IT'S HARDER
FOR ME TO KNOW WHETHER I'VE DISAPPOINTED YOU, REALLY
DISAPPOINTED YOU OR JUST FRANKLY LET YOU DOWN.
AND IT DOESN'T GO ABOVE THAT, BUT I LIKE IT.
>> IT'S A GRAPH OF FAILURE THERE.
>> James: YOU'RE CHANGING IT UP.
WEARING THE SPECKS.
STILL NO BABY NEWS.
I THINK IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN WE'RE OFF.
IT'LL BE SO ANNOYING.
>> FOR YOU, RIGHT?
>> James: I THINK IF SHE HASN'T GIVEN BIRTH BY THURSDAY,
SHE SHOULD START MAKING PLANS FOR THAT BABY TO STAY IN UNTIL
WE'RE BACK ON.
WE NEED THE CONTENT, MAN.
WE NEED THE CONTENT.
I THINK WE NEED THE CONTENT.
>> YOU HAVE PEOPLE HOLLERING AT ME LIKE, OH, HOW'S YOUR WIFE?
>> THAT'S WHAT THEY SOUND LIKE?
>> James: HAVE YOU BEEN IN A LOONY TUNES CARTOON?
>> HOW'S THE BABY GOING?
>> WELL, HOW'S YOUR WIFE?
>> James: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
RANDOMS WHERE?
>> PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW ARE NOW INQUIRING.
>> James: HOW'S YOUR WIFE?
>> YEAH.
YEAH.
>> James: HAS ANYONE SOME UP TO YOU AND SAID, HEY, ME AND MY
WIFE ARE PRETTY OPEN-MINDED?
[LAUGHTER] AND DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT
THIS?
THE RECENT VOLCANO ERUPTION HAPPENED IN ICELAND?
DID YOU ALL KNOW ABOUT THIS AS WELL?
WELL, SOME SCIENTISTS WENT OUT TO THE VOLCANO TO STUDY IT, AND
WHILE THEY WERE THERE, THEY WERE FILMED COOKING
THEIR LUNCH ON THE HOT LAVA.
TAKE A LOOK.
[LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER]
SCIENTISTS, MAN, ABSOLUTELY LOVE COOKING ON A HOT SURFACE.
THERE ISN'T ENOUGH -- LIKE, ANYTHING THAT PRODUCES THESE --
THEY'RE LIKE, "GET SOME BACON AND EGGS!
LET'S COOK IT UP!
COME ON!
THIS IS SCIENCE."
THEY MUST BE SO DISAPPOINTED WHEN THEY USE A MICROWAVE.
>> MY FAVORITE IS THE GUY'S BMX HELMET.
>> James: WHY DOES HE HAVE THE HELMET AND THE OTHER GUY
DOESN'T?
>> HE PROBABLY TAKES MORE RISKS.
>> James: I DO FEEL LIKE IT ALREADY FEELS LIKE THIS COULD BE
A CULINARY TREND IN LOS ANGELES.
THEY'RE LIKE, YEAH, BUT THESE SAUSAGES WERE COOKED ON THE
ASHES OF THAN ICELANDIC VOLCANO.
THAT'S WHY THEY'RE $400.
PUTTING A HOTDOG ON THE EARTH'S MOLTEN CRUST SEEMS TO ME TO BE
MORE SANITARY THAN THE ROLLING THINGS THEY HAVE AT 7-ELEVEN.
>> James: AND FINALLY, A MOTHER IN THE UNITED KINGDOM
RECENTLY BOUGHT A MIXED PACK OF TOYS FOR HER DAUGHTER, ONLY TO
FIND THAT ONE OF THE TOYS INSIDE LOOKED LIKE.ù WELL, SEE FOR
YOURSELVES.
NOW, I KNOW WE TALKED A BIT ABOUT POLITICS AND VOTING AND
BUDGETS IN TODAY'S MONOLOGUE.
BUT DON'T WORRY, WE HAVEN'T LOST SIGHT OF WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE PENISES.
LOOK AT HIM.
HE LOOKS LIKE HE KNOWS HE'S A PENIS.
[LAUGHTER] DO WE HAVE TO SENSOR THAT ON TV
-- CENSOR THAT ON TV.
A CHILDREN'S TOY!
>> LOOKS LIKE A PENIS.
>> James: LOOKS LIKE A MASSIVE PENIS.
LOOKS LIKE A HUGE PENIS.
THAT'S WHAT A BIG [BLEEP] LOOKS LIKE.
>> WE SHOULD BE ON THIS SHOW BECAUSE OF HOW RIDICULOUS IT IS!
PENISES CAN'T BE THAT BIG!
>> James: LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS PENIS.
>> AND IT'S PRAYING.
>> James: IT'S A PRAYING PENIS!
HA-HA.
[LAUGHTER] >> SURE HOPE I GET A CHANCE.
>> James: WILL WE HAVE TO BLUR THAT?
>> WE'LL HAVE TO BLUR THAT.
>> James: WHY?
IT'S A CHILDREN'S TOY!
>> YEAH, I KNOW, IT'S -- IT JUST LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE A LARGE PENIS
THAT -- >> James: HA-HA!
>> TOO PENISY.
>> James: SUCH A SHAME IT'S BLURRED.
HOW MUCH OF IT WILL WE HAVE TO BLUR?
NOT ALL OF IT SURELY?
>> LIKE SORT OF THE TOP AND THE BOTTOM.
SO WE CAN SEE THE EYES.
>> JUST THE TIP.
JUST THE TIP.
>> James: BRING IT BACK UP.
SO WHAT?
WE'LL HAVE TO TAKE OFF -- >> SORT OF -- JUST ABOVE THE
EYES AND PROBABLY BELOW THE PRAYING HANDS.
HA-HA.
>> James: HERE'S MY ARGUMENT TO CBS CESORS, ROB, I WOULD SAY
IT'S GOT FEET OR ARE WE SAYING IT'S TINY TESTICLES?
>> IT'S TINY BALLS.
>> James: TINY BALLS.
>> YOU MEAN REGULAR SIZED BALLS?
>> James: I MEAN COMPLETELY REGULAR TIC TAC-SIZED BALLS.
HAVE YOU BEEN TOLD OFFICIALLY WE'LL HAVE TO BLUR THIS.
>> I HAVE BEEN.
YEAH, I HAD TO CHECK ON THAT.
>> James: WHO TELLS YOU THIS?
>> TONY NORMALLY.
IT'S KENNY NOW.
TONY IS OVERSEAS WORKING ON ANOTHER SHOW.
>> James: KENNY.
NOT KENNY KENNY.
>> KENNY LOPEZ.
>> James: WHY DOES KENNY LOPEZ GET TO CHOOSE WHAT LOOKS LIKE A
BIG [BLEEP] AND WHAT DOESN'T?
>> THAT'S A LOT OF POWER.
A LOT OF POWER.
>> James: A LOT OF POWER.
>> A LOT OF POWER.
>> KALO IS OUT HERE SAYING WE CAN'T SHOW A HORSE'S PENIS ON
TELEVISION?
>> NO ELEPHANT PENIS.
YEAH, HE'S JUST JEALOUS, I THINK THINK.
[LAUGHTER] >> James: WHAT'S KALO SAYING?
>> HE SAID THAT IT -- IT -- WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS MEANT TO
LOOK LIKE ONE, IT LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE ONE THAT WE HAVE TO BLUR
IT.
>> James: OH, CONGRATULATIONS, KENNY.
HE'S PACKING THAT SORT OF MEAT.
IT'S A CHILDREN'S TOY!
THAT'S THE THING.
IT'S A CHILDREN'S TOY.
ON THE PLUS SIDE, DEFINITELY NOT A CHOKING HAZARD.
>> EW.
>> James: I WILL SAY THIS, THIS IS OUR SIX-YEAR ANNIVERSARY
AND I DO THINK THE "LATE LATE SHOW" MAY HAVE FINALLY FOUND ITS
MASCOT.
HEY, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE TIME SLOT, IT'S ABOUT WHAT YOU DO
WITH IT.