Hey, care to join me for a bite?
In this video, I won't be teaching you much about English,
but instead teaching you about Western culture,
specifically about Western table manners.
I know there are loads of Vietnamese people who want to make friends with foreigners,
or go to America, Australia, Europe, and so on to study and work.
So, the pointers in this video will help you dine comfortably and make a good impression.
One thing to keep in mind is that I haven't experienced every individual Western culture.
I'm positive you can apply the following pieces of etiquette 100% in the USA,
and apply generally in other English-speaking countries,
but if you're planning to go to Germany, for example,
then you should probably learn more about their etiquette in particular.
Okay, first of all, a lot of students have asked me what English-speaking people usually say before they eat.
Like, do they say something similar to "xin mời?"
The truth is, we often don't say anything,
or, at the very least, there's no fixed expression like "xin mời" or "mời cả nhà ăn cơm"
that everyone has to say before each meal.
If you go to eat in a restaurant,
you should know that Westerner's usually order individual dishes instead of communal ones,
and an important piece of etiquette is that you should wait until everyone at your table has been served before you start eating.
In the event your server serves your friend first and then goes back to the kitchen to get your food,
and you feel a bit awkward, because your friend is waiting for you,
you can say:
And in the event everyone gets served at the same time, someone might say:
But that phrase isn't mandatory,
and you personally don't have to say anything at all.
If you see that other people have started eating,
then you can start, too.
Now, if you're a guest in someone's home, that's a bit different.
In Christian homes, they'll say a prayer before eating.
Everyone will close their eyes and hold hands,
or they might just fold their hands like this.
While they're praying, you just need to sit quietly, and the meal will begin once they've finished.
In non-religious homes, you just need to wait for everyone to sit down,
again, the head of the household might say:
And you don't have to say anything.
However, I recommend you say something like:
Just to show your appreciation.
And another way to show your appreciation is to bring something to the meal.
In Vietnam, people usually bring fruit,
but where I'm from, a dessert or a bottle of wine is more appropriate.
Speaking of wine, you don't need to worry about being pressured to drink.
Even if you're a guy, saying you'd prefer not to drink won't make anyone think less of you.
And if you do choose to drink wine or beer,
you don't need to clink glasses every time you drink like in Vietnam.
Ugh, I find that custom so tedious.
In the West, people just drink naturally,
except for when someone wants to "make a toast."
That means, like, to make a little speech,
wish everyone good health,
celebrate some event,
then everyone will raise their glasses, maybe say . . .
. . . and then take a sip.
Done.
All right, time to eat.
Each place setting at a table in the West has at least one fork, one spoon, one knife, and one napkin.
And you'll find that napkins over there aren't tiny like the ones in Vietnam,
but rather at least as big as this.
Before you start eating, you should open your napkin like this and put it on your leg.
When you need to wipe your mouth or your fingers, just do it naturally, then put the napkin back on your leg.
If you need to go to the bathroom, fold your napkin lightly and place it on your chair.
And when you finish eating, fold it lightly and place it on the table.
Throughout the meal, you shouldn't put your elbows on the table,
like this,
or like this,
or like this.
Actually, you'll find that even Westerners don't follow this rule of etiquette 100%,
especially at informal meals,
but if you want to make a good impression,
I recommend you eat like this or like this.
Earlier, I said that at restaurants, Westerners usually order individual dishes rather than communal ones,
but at home, communal dishes are probably more common.
In English, eating like that is called "eating family-style."
And you guys should note that, unlike in Vietnam,
grabbing food with your personal utensils is strictly prohibited.
You'll find that every plate or bowl has a big spoon or fork,
and you have to use that to put food on your plate, like at a buffet.
If you just casually grab food with your own fork, you definitely won't be invited a second time.
Also, when you grab food, you shouldn't reach too far.
I've found that in Vietnam, people will often reach right across the table or the serving tray,
and it's no big deal,
but doing that in the West is seen as impolite.
If you want something that's on the opposite side of the table,
then you should ask someone who's sitting near it:
And another common Vietnamese action that you should avoid at a Western table
is putting food on someone else's plate, except if they ask you to.
I know that to Vietnamese people, putting food in someone else's bowl is just an act of affection,
but to Westerners, it seems kind of like an act of condescension,
as though you imagine that person isn't capable of getting their own food.
Compared to Vietnamese dishes, Western dishes rarely have dipping sauces,
but when you do encounter a dish that has some kind of communal dipping sauce, like chips and salsa,
you need to be cautious about "double-dipping,"
which means to dip once, take a bite, and then dip again.
In my experience, Vietnamese people don't really care about that,
but in America, some people *really* care about it.
Just like using personal utensils in communal dishes,
double-dipping is considered really unhygienic.
Now I'm going to talk a bit about the end of a meal.
If you're a guest in someone's home, I recommend saying:
And when everyone stands up and starts clearing the table, you should offer to lend a hand . . .
. . . even if you're a guy.
Things over there are different from Vietnam.
And if you go to a restaurant with friends,
you should know that we almost always split the bill.
It doesn't matter who suggested going out to eat. Everyone will still split the bill,
unless some generous individual says:
That means, "I'll pay,"
and you just need to respond with:
Speaking of paying, I also suggest you learn a bit about tipping culture before you go to a foreign country,
especially if you're going to the US.
Over there, tipping is a ridiculously complex issue, and it gives me a big headache every time I go home.
In the description, I'll leave a link to an article that can help you guys understand it in more detail.
If you need to use a toothpick after you eat, then go ahead and use it naturally.
You don't need to cover your mouth like this.
I know that in Vietnam, doing so is considered polite,
but in the West it seems really prissy,
and people might laugh at you.
And one final thing is that at a lot of small eateries and at the majority of coffee places in the West,
or at least in the US,
there's no table service.
You order your food or drinks at the counter, and when you finish, you have to clear your own table,
the same as at fast food restaurants like Popeye's and McDonald's.
If you see a sign in the place that says, "Please clear your own table,"
or "Please bus your own table," that means "Vui lòng tự dọn bàn,"
and somewhere or other you'll see a trash can and a bin for dishes.
And you just need to put your stuff there.
You don't need to wipe down the table, or anything like that.
And that's it,
enough information for you guys to enjoy a fun, comfortable meal with Westerners.
Bon appétit.
Okay. If you've got pronunciation problems like that,
I really recommend you try using ELSA.
It's able to catch loads of mistakes that Vietnamese people often make.
Seems useful, huh?
You can download ELSA on Google Play or The App Store.
Just search for "ELSA Speak."
For the first seven days, you don't have to pay anything.
After seven days, there is a usage fee,
however, since you're watching here, you'll get a discount.
You just need to go to elsaspeak.com/danhauer,
and follow the three simple steps there to check out with a price that's discounted from 10 to 80%.
Wow!
A really useful app at a really low price . . .
Try it already!