It is hard for transgender people
to get work, but we're all human, and
we all have to live and survive.
It's not fair that we have to pretend
to be somebody that we're not
to do the things that we love.
It's, like, how is anybody ever
gonna take me seriously?
How am I going to be able to put my resume out there
and find a job?
Some employers don't have, like, an understanding
of why not hiring a trans person
is an act of violence.
People don't have an understanding [of]
when you go into a workplace
and there is a trans person that's there,
it becomes, like, a common air over a person,
that the person, every day, has to fight
to defend themselves.
I was working in a job that was very transphobic.
I've been in almost every style of restaurant
around the country,
around, yeah, around the United States,
and I've encountered it in all of them.
I usually describe it as a boys' club.
It's a very masculine, heterosexual-driven job.
I was living as a male at work,
and female outside of work.
And it raises a high level of anxiety
to have to switch back and forth
between these two roles.
I knew that if I didn't transition,
I was gonna die anyway.
That's how depressed I was.
I wanted to be the leading swan
in Swan Lake.
I just fell in love with her.
She's just very graceful, elegant.
I definitely wanted to
portray the female role, but
ballet in itself is traditional
and it's classical, so,
you have a male and a female.
They definitely want a gender
identity in the ballet world.
So, she would, right, literally be, like,
Dari Minaj on the weekends,
and then Darius on the weekdays.
After a while, you realize
you're sick of running around pretending
you're running after a female, in love with her.
Exactly.
At the Christmas party
that year, I was struck in the face
by some of the people that work there,
and knocked unconscious.
When I came to, I was covered in blood.
I had a fracture in my skull,
and my orbital socket
underneath my eye was shattered.
I had two fractures in my nose.
That's when it kind of dawned on me
how serious this was.
At that point,
I just kinda slipped into this depression,
and I was almost ready to give up on life.
Out of somewhere deep down,
I managed to get the courage to get going again.
I basically came to Maine,
and I started over with a new life.
I came here with nothing except for
my car, my clothes, and my dog.
I actually was a few days outside of Maine
when I got a message
on Facebook from somebody that
wanted me to come work in their restaurant here.
I was terrified to work in a restaurant again
around that type of atmosphere,
and people like that.
"They're going to reject me."
"They're gonna to beat me up."
"They're gonna murder me."
So, it did take a level of
of reassuring and building
my confidence back up to
get me back into a kitchen.
Expectations did cost me certain roles.
One Saturday morning,
I came into class and
do an introduction for the dance teacher.
And he came up to the barre to give me a correction,
and then he pulled me off to the side
and he told me that
I need to tone it down with, like,
the makeup.
I went against most of,
I guess, the protocol
for being a male ballet dancer.
They got another guy
to do the role.
And it was a good role, and
and I was upset,
but I wasn't about to conform.
This is how I take my selfies, like, at nighttime.
If you want the best lighting, just
turn on the LuMee light.
No light.
Light.
The bigger the lash, the better.
The higher the cheek, the better.
The deeper the lip...
I'm just that girl.
There's no safe spaces for trans folks,
and we can't just stay within our walls.
We don't live in a LGBT bubble all day.
So, a lot of people can't get past the entry points.
Sometimes their documentation
doesn't match who they are.
People think "Oh, you just get it changed."
Some states don't allow you to do that.
You know, some states are, like,
"You can change your name, but you can't
change your birth certificate."
So now you have your name changed,
but your birth certificate is like...
Now they're saying, "You're being fraudulent."
"You're trying to fool us."
I do have anxiety during these things.
That's because I'm going to have to
out myself to get the proper documents.
Even though I've been in Maine for six months,
I haven't been able to get my residency
secured here.
So, I just got my birth certificate.
I'm gonna go today
and try to transfer my driver's license
from Arkansas to Maine.
How can I help you today?
Hi, I need to transfer my driver's license
from out of state.
We have a specialized process that
we have to use for gender change.
Yeah?
Is this what you are thinking
your new license will have?
Yes.
I mean, it has to have that
because for safety reasons,
there cannot be an "M" on that.
This is the first time I've had encountered this.
She is requiring that I have
a letter from a doctor, physician
to keep the "F" on my driver's license.
She said she had to make a phone call
to see what she could do.
Sorry to make you wait.
Okay.
I got the director's approval.
So I'm gonna go ahead and do this for you.
Oh, thank you so much.
When you're ready,
just look at the little blue dot
on the camera.
I'll do a countdown of three, OK?
So three,
two,
one.
They tried to put it as an "M,"
but they got it over.
I even put the "F" on it.
I am a female resident of Maine now.
I feel, like, maybe one day
I myself can,
like, maybe open a company
for people like myself...
Kids growing up who are not open
and comfortable with themselves,
and realize that they are trans.
If I had to choose,
I would say I would be Dari Minaj Rose,
because at the end of the day,
I'm comfortable with myself
and who I am as a person.
And I would just
be me.
Now I kinda hold my head high
as a transgender person.
Don't ever be afraid.
Put yourself out there, and reach for your goals.
Because we have the opportunity to lead the way
for the next generation.