In this video, I’m gonna talk about how you can FINALLY stop comparing yourself to
other people, getting out of the toxic habits of checking other people’s social media
and start focusing on your own path and feel beautiful and proud of yourself.
Helluuuuu, welcome back to my channel, if you’re new here, my name is Clara and on
this channel I talk about body positivity and self love for skinny and small-chested
girls, so if that’s what you’re into, consider subscribing for new videos every
week.
So we all know that social media has a really bad rep.
It makes you feel inadequate, makes you feel like a failure, a potato, like everyone is
better than you, and you are never ever good enough.
It brings out your deepest insecurity, makes you feel miserable, but somehow, you can’t
stop using it, you can’t stop obsessing with the numbers, you can’t stop checking
out people’s profiles who have these unrealistic face and body and beauty standards, somehow
you just can’t stop.
Girl, I feel you.
I’ve been there so many times, and probably will be there again at some points in the
future.
I mean, who doesn’t?
Even if you don’t have any social media accounts, you will still compare yourself
to other people.
But recently, I have developed a solution to this problem and I’m happy to say that
IT WORKS, and I want to share this with you so you can finally break free from this negative
habit and focus your energy inwards, on yourself, on loving yourself, on embracing yourself.
So without further ado, let’s get right into it.
First step: Unfollowing.
I know it’s obvious, but it’s IMPORTANT so you’ve got to do this first before doing
any other tips
You have a choice of who you follow on social media.
If you follow people who for some reason make you feel bad about yourself, maybe they post
perfect pictures of themselves all the time, or they give you updates on their world traveling
adventures every two days, or they’re an old friend who you no longer talk to but you
always see them flexing on social media, no matter who it is, if seeing their updates
make you feel bad, it’s time to unfollow.
It doesn’t mean you’re mean, it doesn’t mean that you’re jealous, it just means
that you care about your wellbeing and you want to protect your energy, more on that
later.
If they’re thriving, good for them, but if seeing them thriving makes you feel bad
about yourself, you need to put yourself first and distance yourself from them, and work
on your self worth and confidence before being able to look at those types of pictures and
not being negatively affected by them.
This is the first step to clear out the negative energy and impact on your social media.
It’s the foundation for all other steps.
Because when you scroll on you feed everyday, you want it to be clean, to be inspirational,
to be in alignment with your values and most importantly, you want to see things that lift
you up, not bring you down.
Follow people who have a message, who are authentic and positive.
Make sure your timeline is 100% positive and your time spend on social media might even
make you feel better about yourself instead of worse.
Second step: Resisting the urge
I understand that even when you unfollow someone, you still may have this weird obsession with
them.
You still feel the urge to check them out once in a while, maybe even everyday, it can
become compulsive and could be really toxic to your mental health.
⁣ Recently I found a trick to stop myself from
creeping on other people’s social media ↓ : ⁣
⁣ every time I feel the urge to check out someone’s
profile (that I know will def make me feel like shit), I stop for a second and tell myself,
repeatedly: ⁣
“Protect your energy.”
⁣ “Protect your energy.”
⁣ ⁣
Until the urge is gone..⁣ ⁣
Weirdly enough, IT WORKS!⁣ ⁣
The affirmations remind me that looking at other people’s lives and feeling jealous
is a waste of time.
A waste of MY time.
⁣ ⁣
I am the most important person in MY world.⁣ ⁣
THEY are the most important person in THEIR world.
⁣ ⁣
YOU are the most important person in YOUR world.⁣
⁣ So why put them, why put other people on a
pedestal and put yourself down?
We are all important, and no one is better than the other.
⁣ ⁣
We may choose different paths, have different lifestyles, different jobs, different looks,
different resources; but our worth are THE SAME.
We’re all equal.⁣ ⁣
Today, remember:⁣ * to protect your energy⁣
* to focus on yourself and your journey ⁣ * to thrive in your own way ⁣
⁣ Cause it’s never a competition anyway.
We all exist for different reasons
3rd Step: Take Social Media Break
I do this weekly.
I know that telling you to stop using social media completely is just unrealistic, sometimes
the best solution is not stopping and avoiding it altogether, but to learn how to consume
it the right way.
You should take a break from social media every now and then.
It can last for a day, several days or a week.
Personally, I take breaks from social media at least 2 days per week.
I think it’s important because your mind needs a rest, and what happens in the real
world is always more important than what happens online.
You can see it in my own life or if you follow me on social media (insert social media logo)
I don’t post a lot on Instagram or Youtube because to me, social media is just a part
of my life, there are other priorities that are important to me, like protecting my mental
health and happiness.
So start today, try taking a mini break from social media and let me know if it helps you
to feel better or doesn’t really make a difference.
Tip 4: How to stop comparing yourself to people you know
Gosh I feel so resonated with this one.
Often times, I don’t really compare myself to influencers or big celebrities but the
people I compare myself to the most are the ones that are closest to me, or the people
that I know personally in my life.
For a long time I was obsessed with the idea of being the best in every social group I’m
in.
If for example, I’m in a group setting, I want to be considered the prettiest, the
smartest, the richest, the most accomplished and so on, but when there’s someone who
I regard as a threat to my position, I feel closed off and would feel very uncomfortable
around that person.
It’s sort of like I feel jealous of them and sad about myself at the same time.
But now I have grown and changed so much that it doesn’t bother me anymore.
I think that we all have our strengths.
Yes a girl may have bigger boobs than me, curvier than me, but that doesn’t necessarily
mean she’s better or sexier than me.
We are just different and beautiful in our own way.
If sometimes you feel jealous of your friend for having something that you want, remember
that that friend may also have their own insecurity and may even be jealous of you or admire you
because you have other qualities that he or she wants.
I think we, as human beings, are similar in a lot of ways.
We have similar struggles, self doubts and bad habits.
So don’t feel too bad if you feel down sometimes, cause we all do it, you’re not alone, and
there are always ways to recover and bring yourself up.
Tip 5: Write down a list of your own accomplishments and what you love about yourself and look
at it often.
As much as prevention methods work, sometimes when our willpower is low, we still fall into
the trap of comparing ourselves to other people and feel bad about ourselves.
How can you recover from this?
For me, I keep a list of the things I love about myself and look at it often, especially
at times when I feel inadequate or incompetent.
I believe that we should be our own best cheerleaders and it’s our job to remind ourselves of
how beautiful and amazing we are.
I think that often times we start comparing ourselves to others because we lose track
of our accomplishments and how far we’ve come in life.
So when you have time, write down a list of your own accomplishments and what you love
about yourself and look at it often, especially when you feel like you’re not enough, not
as pretty or successful as other people . This will help you focus the energy back into yourself
and focus on who really matters, YOU!
Tip 6: Remind yourself that people’s lives are often not exactly like what they portray
on social media
I mean we all know that as humans, we want to portray the best parts of ourselves to
the world.
But life is much more than what people post on their social media.
Sometimes you don’t know what’s going on behind the scene, what they have to deal
with in their personal lives.
You would have no ideas if they’re going through depression, if they have an extremely
low self-esteem or suffer from an eating disorder.
We think that only because someone is beautiful, fit or successful that that person must be
happy.
This doesn’t have to be true at all.
Beauty, fame, travel, a relationship, a good looking body and a lot of followers are no
guarantee for happiness.
Everyone has their own struggles and everyone goes through suffering.
Also those people you look up to!
That is what makes us human.
Remind yourself of that whenever you are wishing you had the life of someone else.
Tip 7: Think about what people don’t know about you and what you’re portraying on
social media There’s probably someone who’s comparing
themselves to you and feel jealous of you.
So in a way we’re all in this together.
No one is better than you.
We are all equal.
Don’t put people on a pedestal.
Remember that everyone is a human just like you.
They’re capable of fantastic things, and so are you.
But your goals and theirs are very different.
Focus on your own path and work hard to achieve your own goals and dreams.
When you focus on yourself, seeing other people’s success will no longer affect you negatively,
because you know that whatever great things happen to them, they can also happen to you
too, look at their success as a proof that the things you want are possible to achieve,
look at them as inspiration.
You don’t have to compete with them, you don’t have to be better than them, you only
have to be better than yourself of the past.
As long as you’re making progress in your own journey, you’re winning.
Tip 8: Instead of comparing yourself to other people, compare yourself to yourself
Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to
yourself.
See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards
your goals.
This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself
as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff
you have done.
You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.
You can make this habit stick by for instance taking a few minutes each day to use a journal
to write down how you have grown, how much closer you are to your dreams and goals now
and what you have overcome and learned.
By doing so your thinking will over time shift and your thought patterns will automatically
become more focused on comparing you to you rather than to other people.
Tip 9: Remind yourself that you want to win.
Everytime I have the urge to check out someone’s social media, I remind myself of the fact
that I can never win by doing that.
In the past I would sometimes compare myself to people who I think may be less successful
than me, it’s a way for me to feel better about myself, but then I realized that it
is just as bad as compare myself to someone that I think is better than me.
No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that
has more than you or is better than you at something.
It’s always a losing battle when you focus outwards and not inwards.
I haven’t compared myself to other people on social media for nearly 2 weeks now.
I think it’s maybe one of the longest break I’ve ever taken and I must say that I’m
loving it.
I keep reminding myself of how far I’ve come.
Maybe take a calendar or use a calendar app on your phone to check off the days that you
don’t compare yourself to other people.
I believe that will help you build a momentum.
I’ve been feeling good about myself and incorporate more healthy habits into my life.
When you start comparing yourself on social media, you may end up scrolling mindlessly
for hours and then sleep late, and then feel horrible the next day.
It’s like once you start a bad habit, it’s just so easy to fall into a rabbit hole and
getting into a downward spiral.
On the other hand, once you start following a good habit, you feel more inspired to keep
up the momentum and if you do it long enough, you can get rid of your bad habits completely
and the new positive habits can become your new way of life.
Tip 10: Be kinder towards other people.
In my experience, the way you behave and think towards others seems to
have a big effect on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself.
Judge and criticize people more and you tend to judge and criticize yourself more (often
almost automatically).
Be kinder to other people and help them and you tend to be kinder and more helpful to
yourself.
So focus your mind on helping people and being kind.
Focus on the positive things in yourself and in the people around you.
And appreciate what is positive in yourself and in others.
This way you become more OK with yourself and the people in your world instead of ranking
them and yourself in your mind.
You are enough and so are they.
Conclusion
I hope that you enjoy this video.
Do let me know if you have any video ideas or topics that you want me to discuss in future
videos by commenting down below.
I do make time to read and reply to most of the comments.
So thank you so much for commenting.
Please give this video a like, share this video with someone who might find this helpful
and subscribe to my channel.
It would motivate me a lot and help me tremendously in creating more content for you all.
Also comment down below your experience of comparing yourself to other people, how that
makes you feel and how you bring yourself out of it.
And last thing, I just want to say thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much for supporting me and loving me.
We’re coming towards the end of the year and having this community is hands down, the
biggest blessings in my life in 2019.
Happy holidays to all of you and I wish you a merry Christmas.
So, yeah, till next time, love yourself, be kind to yourself and treat others the same
way.