is it okay that Prince Philip is not the
worst royal of 2019
yes it's five the Duke of York to have
10,000 men but if you're accused of
sleeping with one underage woman it all
comes undone last Saturday Prince Andrew
gave an interview to address the rumors
surrounding his association with the
convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein
and allegations of his own sexual
impropriety it went so badly he has now
stepped down from royal duties and even
had to step away from a mentorship
scheme he fronted for people in IT I
mean what is it about taking young
people under your wing and offering them
guidance that suddenly felt
inappropriate Prince and let me get this
right Yeah right
he's brought massive shame on the royal
family yep
let alone the allegations themselves
which are pretty grim yep and his
punishment is that he now gets to do
less than fuchal
okay
to think like this time last week on
Friday no Andrew was sat home thinking
once that interview goes out I'm gonna
be an everyone's good book basically
he's been sacked by his mom like I'm
cannot wait for series 8 of the crown
it's gonna be the best character leaving
since match found Harold's glasses on a
rock six years Andrews going to come
back claiming amnesia Joe she's gone oh
yeah anyone else hoping he turns up in
the armor celebrity jungle the only 10
people that don't know it's happen
now the interview with Emily Maitlis was
meant to be Prince Andrews comeback
special but YouGov poll found 6% of
viewers thought he was telling the truth
its percent the only questions the
interview answered were how do you
pronounce Guerlain why isn't Prince
Harry having Christmas at home this year
and where can I get a decent pizza in
Woking six percent before it was telling
the truth they would have taken out
volcano insurance on their houses and
Ken interview was so bad it made the
Queen google the phrase what's worse
than a Nana's horriblest it was
astonishing interview yeah I'm gonna say
it's the first time I've ever got to the
end of an episode of news night and then
gone back to the start and watch again
so it's like obviously Dan fact he's now
stepped down is you know he's the right
fingers what had to happen yeah but
there was a moment during a week where
there were reports that he was gonna do
another interview me out of watch
that box office I don't know what
they're gonna call the second interview
the Empire Strikes Back maybe the
Queen's Speech when it just starts and
she goes what a year though you
can see on the mantelpiece behind her
all the pictures with just one turns
down it was barely Prince Andrew thought
the interview had gone quite well no it
wasn't as Bill Clinton once found out
the more times you say I did not have
sexual relations with that woman the
more it sounds like you had sexual
relations with that woman
and if you're trying to distance
yourself from a convicted sex trafficker
don't call him Jeffrey the war
outrageous claims came when Prince
Andrew was pressed about allegations he
spent a night dancing with and having
sex with a woman by the name of itch of
Virginia Roberts who was 17 years old at
the time
that is he doesn't go I couldn't have
done it because the allegation is
abhorrent what it says is I couldn't at
Danica's add a diary clash
so say me you went to pete's express for
a bit in the afternoon isn't an alibi to
cover the whole evening
it has expressed in the title all night
convincing interview since do you
remember those two Russians that went to
Salisbury already I wanted to see the
world famous Ramona base which was
immediately inundated with Google these
are genuine reviews by the way like this
one always treated like royalty when you
visit a great place for an alibi the new
provincial pizza restaurants would
become the hot beds of controversy last
year it was a zzs in Salisbury this year
it's a Peter express in Woking Bella
Italia and Guildford are
themselves I've done some investigation
into this yep and to add more scorn onto
his claim yep I would have thought that
Prince Andrew rocking up to p2 Express
in Woking on a random night would make
headline news you think I thought I went
and found a Woking news and Mail from a
few days after that for their weekly
edition yeah was it on the front page no
what was on the front page was a story
about an increase in dog in
public it featured no there were stories
about leisure centres winning awards so
all I'm saying it's bollocks
probably now the other remarkable moment
of the interview came when Prince Andrew
gave this revealing response to Virginia
Roberts claims that they had a sweaty
dance together so the Falklands War
Between the Falklands War and when the
allegations are made so that's 20 years
right so he bought his account he hadn't
sweat for more than 20 years yeah when
he started sorting again he must've lost
his
ma'am claim some some more Amir did
Iranian snow he's no it's not got
anything to do yeah let's donate him -
ripley's believe it or not
incredible dry man I didn't know so is
that so do we just have a certain amount
of sweat and we've just gotta do it over
our lives but he just went to go to the
GP and he's like I can't sweat in the GP
when were you in the Falklands
he's a kid and there's something in his
genetics which means he can't sweat link
should be all over that links Prince
Andrew the shows is Christmas it does
explain this Pizza Express review that
came in during the week I love this
place I had a cracking pizza here in
2001
I remember this 2001 because it was very
strange as the guy next to me had an
American hot with extra chilies not a
drop of sweat came off in he spent four
days at Jeffrey Epstein's house after
epstein had been convicted of soliciting
a minor for prostitution
Prince Andrew said he did it to tell
epstein they couldn't be friends anymore
I haven't told someone and I can't be
friends with them since I was 10 that's
just not something you do as another
also yeah why would it take him four
days to break that news to him EPS
things hardly gonna say why after those
of you it does explain this Pizza
Express review that also came in during
the week I remember the specific date I
came here and it was just to let you
know that I think your dough balls have
gone downhill and I can't be associated
with them anymore and that's why I
stayed for four days
Prince Andrew told every obscene they
couldn't be seen together in public and
he told him that while they were walking
together in Central Park Central Park
yeah quite like a picturesque romantic
place and he's taking him there to tell
him that he doesn't doesn't want to be
friends you sure he's not got it
confused with proposing and he's just
got you know what yeah it was even going
to be there or was going to just do it
on the first day at the top of the
Empire State Building when he was asked
why on earth he even went to Epstein's
house in the first place at Hendra
replied that he had quote a tendency to
be too honorable - honorable you stayed
for nights with a convicted sex offender
he's a comedian who takes his labrador
on tour with him she's a presenter who
takes sandwiches to other people's
dinner parties would you please welcome
Kevin bridges and Victoria Koren
Mitchell and you do take your Labrador
and Tara with you once I put on stage
right at the house Rowena and Glasgow
and was she nervous ere was your novel
sure that she's actually got a peculiar
medical condition
[Applause]
all my dogs and people insisted so far
[Applause]
so he's not a pedophile he's a pedophile
they say allegedly the same way what I
mean what do we make of all of the
Prince Andrew softest I love this
statement how he felt the need to
announced it was stepping back from
public life it's called gone a jail you
had to ask the Queen's permission yes
they sure does that but just mom Jan
Berg you give jimmy savile and they hood
em well I've also got a pedo me
you