From the director of Suicide Squad,
the writer of Victor Frankenstein,
and Trigger Warning Entertainment
comes an allegory about race relations
from the director of Suicide Squad,
the writer of Victor Frankenstein,
and Trigger Warning Entertainment.
"Fairy lives don't matter today."
This is gonna be a bumpy ride, huh?
Log into Netflix,
your first choice for prestige television
and last choice for movies,
to see a film that would've crushed at the box office
if buying a ticket were the same as something autoplaying after you pass out during Mindhunter.
Don't lie, Netflix.
I woke up to an Adam Sandler movie once.
Those views don't count.
See Will Smith like you've never seen him before,
not as the wild card cop with a by-the-book partner from Bad Boys,
or the wild card cop with a by-the-book partner from Men in Black,
or the wild card cop with a by-the-book partner from I, Robot,
or a wild card soldier with a by-the-book partner in Independence Day,
or a wild card ex-soldier with a by-the-book partner in Wild Wild West,
or a wild card mercenary with a by-the-book partner in Suicide Squad,
but a wild card cop with a by-the-book partner...
who's...
an...
orc.
Whoa!
Explore a movie that's more than a cop drama
It's a...
*laughs*
complicated social metaphor that...
*clears throat*
explores what it means to be human.
"We gonna titty-bar-gunfight-die."
*wheeze*
Sorry, couldn't keep it in there.
Blending tired fantasy tropes with tired buddy cop tropes to explore a world of racial allegories.
Where orcs are stand-ins for the historical mistreatment of black people.
And... that's pretty much it.
Orcs are black people and one of 'em is a cop.
"I need to know if you're a cop first, or an orc first."
If the movie has anything else to say, I guess it's that Mexicans are scary?
Yeah, this ain't Get Out.
You've never seen a premise this interesting get so squandered.
Where all of the creative possibilities of a fantasy world being part of our own for 2,000 years...
everything turned out EXACTLY the same.
No seriously, our history is the same...
"Mexicans still get s*** for the f***in' Alamo"
Our businesses are the same...
"We're in a stolen Toyota Corolla."
Even our pop culture didn't change!
"Take your fat Shrek lookin' ass back to Fiona!"
How does Shrek still exist?
Is it a documentary?
There's dragons flying around but our buildings never changed?
What's this centaur cop doing?
They never even mention that!
You can't just add the word 'magic' and claim it's any different from a normal cop movie!
"Magic Task Force."
"Right, the magic feds!"
*angrily yelling*
So gear up for the film that got burned by critics for either being too woke, or not woke enough.
But wasted the cool premise of a modern day fantasy world,
none of which will matter to Netflix.
Because with an infinite amount of money, you can greenlight an infinite amount of stupid ideas
to keep an infinite number of people from ever going to a theater again.
Welp, we had a good run movies.
Now to never leave the house!
Two reporters track down a story but one of them is a Balrog, which means she's Filipino!
A mild mannered vampire inherits a coffee shop, but there's a twist: Vampires are Guatemalan!
And uh, a frost giant... but he's a Jew.
Now that one, that could be my Star Wars.
Aw, she's alright, she's ok!
C'mon, everyone clap, if you believe!
Oh no, she's dead.
Hey Screen Junkies, check out our newest series Feature Destinations
featuring tour guides to your favorite movie locations.
Click the box on the left and you can float too in Derry, Maine.
*reading comments*