Hey there internet-BEEP
The fuck?
So you and me have been having this thing
For a while now
And I just feel like before I let this continue
For any longer, I want it to be honest.
...There's some things I need to tell you.
Because honesty is important in a relationship.
Whilst I say I'm generally quite a nice
good human being,
there are several things that I do on a daily basis
that no human should ever do.
*Musical* List of reasons why I'm an awful human being! :D
One: ... I chew pencils.
I'm so sorry!
Yep! I'm one of those people, I'll be like,
Umm... Uh-Hey! could I borrow a pencil?
Oh, Yeah sure! Umm... Here you go.
Thanks!
Uh, hey! Have you got that pencil I lent ya?
Oh! Uh, Yeah. Here you go.
Oh! Keep it! Keep it! Keep it!
I drop things behind the back of things.
Yeah, if I'm tidying and I can't be bothered to think about
where somethings should go, I'll just drop it
behind something.
*Sigh*
*plop*
This results in, A: losing half of your possessions.
and, B: that moment when,
Hmm, I feel like rearranging my bedroom.
*Dan's signature 8-bit music*
What the hell is that?! Oh God It's alive!
Oh, I wondered where that sock was...
And I think that whatever causes this is also responsible for the fact that
Whenever I go shopping and I decide I don't want something,
I'll try to hide it in the shop.
Can I just say, I've worked in two stores so I know how annoying this is,
but I still do it.
Walking along... Oh. I don't really want this anymore.
Should I take it back?
No...
Sometimes I go to the extent of hiding it right at the back of the shelf.
I don't know how this helps in any way
*Satisfactory noise of accomplishment*
*Cough*
I also do this:
*Disgusting crack of the knuckles*
Ewww! I'm sorry...
Sometimes... I don't hold the door open.
Now I will admit that I am a bit sexist and ageist when it comes to this,
If you are a female or an elderly person than I will probably hold the door open for you,
but if you're young male then I'll just presume you won't be offended.
You see there's something about the thought of a closing door
That just does something for me...
its just the thought of a gap getting thinner and thinner.
I see it as a f*cking challenge
I just run for it and there is nothing as good as that moment when,
*exhale*
Woah! You thought you could close on me did ya?
Well not this time!
Oh yeah! Oh yeah, through the door. That's right!
I mumble than say "nevermind" if you don't hear me...
I know, I'm aware that you want to murder someone if they do this.
You have no idea how much my grandma hates me...
I'll just be like,
Well yeah, I mean yeah it's *mumble*
Sorry what was that?
Hmm? Oh nothing, doesn't matter
I sometimes press the button on traffic lights and then don't cross the road.
Don't throw things at me!
I don't mean to, I would never do it deliberately,
but sometimes I'm like,
La la la, walking along...
Boop.
Oh yeah, yeah. I don't want to go this way anymore.
And then some guy in a car is just sat there thinking about
all the different kinds of furniture he could make out of my bones after he kills me...
Haha, I put people on speaker phone if I don't want to stop what I'm doing.
*sobbing* Dan, you're the only person I can talk to.
I can't believe Troy would do that to me.
Yeah, yeah. No, totally. Yeah.
*Sniff*
I just don't know what to do.
Die ya mother*cker! Yeah, that's right.
What?! Dan!
Oh shit, Umm.
And finally - possibly my worst habit ever -
I tap...
*tapping a beat on the desk*
*Snap ;)*
Everyone at school hated me.
I feel sorry for Phil, who I live with, because while I'm editing I'm like,
*whistle whistle*
*beautifully singing *Toxic" by Britney Spears*
*THUMP BANG THUMP BANG BANG BANG*
Which isn't good cause I feel like one day I'll be
sat somewhere going,
*Thump... Thump... Thump...*
And I'll accidentally make someone go insane...
*thumps repeatedly*
*Intense music*
So there we are. I have laid myself on the table in front of you.
... That sounds a bit weird...
And if you still wanna continue this uh... This little thing that we got going on then y'all must be Mother Theresa Seriously... I don't even-
Se we have a couple of options with this video, you can either just write a really long paragraph
down in the comments about how much you hate all the things I said,
or if you feel like it you can tell us about all the annoying things that you think you do.
But I guess hey, the first step to stopping something is admitting you have a problem.
Unfortunately we're going to be stopping after the first step.
I will see you next week guys.
*Dramatic outro music*
And now its time for the sexy end screen dance.
*sensual voice* Here it is. Mmh.
Please give me a like if you enjoyed the video.
I don't know why I'm talking like this.
But yeah, if you click the button in the middle you can subscribe to my
Channel and like, all the people in the comments you can make yourself feel better
by openly admitting your flaws to people on the internet.
*giggle* Thank you!
I think I've discovered the reason why I upload my videos so late.
Okay?
I usually finish having breakfast at about 1 PM.
That's not normal is it? No. I should work on that.
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