- Competitive gaming, I love it and you love it.
There's so many competitive games out there.
Who doesn't love inviting their cousins
over for a sleepover, and say,
"Hey man, you're gonna play me in this game right now.
"I don't care if you don't know how to play.
"I know how to play it really well,
"and I'm gonna make fun of you for how bad you are at it."
That's an American pastime.
The only problem with loving competitive gaming
is you get all of the competitive games.
But if you get all of them, you're just okay at most.
I play all of my friends in Super Smash Bros.,
and I beat all of my friends.
It's not even hard, they're bad, and they don't understand
how bad they are until they play me.
So what we're gonna be doing today,
me and my Hawaiian shirt are gonna find out
how much better a professional gamer is
than I am using science, AKA drinking alcohol.
(hawk screeching)
We're gonna be playing Super Smash Bros.,
we're gonna do two stocks.
Every time he beats me in a game he takes a shot,
and maybe I'll ask him some questions about life,
not the baby questions either.
We're gonna play again, he's gonna take a shot.
It'll probably be, like, we can't go
over five shots, I'm sorry.
Then, if I beat him, we'll see how many shots worse I am
than a professional Super Smash Bros. player.
Today, I'm gonna be playing Hugo Gonzalez,
AKA HugS, very good at the game.
Probably top 32 in the universe, yeah, universe.
That's a tournament, right?
- Hugo. - How's it going?
- I'm all right, I'm all right.
First things first, can I have a hug?
- No. - Nice.
So have you played at EVO before?
- I have, yes. The highest I've done
I got second place at EVO 2007.
- Damn.
- Lately, I typically do in
the top 64, top 48, things like that.
- What made you get into Super Smash Bros., man?
- I was a big Nintendo fan growing up, so when they came out
with a game where I could just pick any character,
and just beat up the other character,
it was just a no-brainer, jumped right into it.
- Could you tell me more about
the Smash community in general.
- Yeah. It's a scene that grew up without online play,
so these are people I've known, and played
with at their houses, met their families.
Yeah, I'd say it's just a big group of friends.
- How do the tournaments work?
- Most of them are open entry, so anyone could enter.
- I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna enter.
- You're gonna be a pro now?
- I've been waiting for my time to shine, and this is it.
- Have you ever had your dreams, like, crushed?
- I mean, yeah, in a way. - Okay.
- Do people get mad at you when
you play them at family barbecues.
- No. - No?
- That doesn't happen anymore.
- You don't play anybody casually?
- In fact, it's kind of weird when anyone
who's a casual thinks that they could beat a pro.
And I just haven't seen that kind of thing in years.
- All right.
(heavy rock music)
First round, completely sober.
- You ready man?
- Yeah, yeah. I'm ready, I'm ready.
- Okay, let's do it. Good luck.
- Let's do it. Thank you.
(game controllers clicking)
First stock gone, zero percent on Hugo.
I gotta hit you once, that's my new goal
to hit you one, goddamn time. (breathes heavily)
- That's it man. - That's it. (laughs)
You see in Smash we call that a JV3.
That means if I end you with zero percent,
that counts as if I had another stock.
So that's two stocks at zero percent, that's a three stock.
- That's a three stock.
Why did I do this to myself?
That hurts, hurts my feelings, hurts my soul,
but we're gonna get him drunk, guys.
Shot number one. (heavy rock music)
- Okay. I'm really bad at taking shots by the way.
- Yeah. All right.
Whoa. - Yes. Drink it.
- (gulps) Oh.
- Took it like a champ.
All right, shot number one, how's it feel?
- Right now, I'm feeling good.
It's probably gonna hit me at some point.
The first one, I don't think it's gonna change much.
- No, okay.
- I'll just be real with you here.
- All right, time is up. Let's get started.
- Okay, I'm ready. All right, let's do it.
Good luck man. - Thank you.
- This is a good stage for you,
I'm telling you that right now.
So if you don't hit me on this one, there's a problem.
- Okay, I got it.
- Oh, going with the lasers now.
- (laughs)
(game controllers clicking)
- Oh, okay. You're already doing
16 times better than last time.
(laughing)
- 16% better. All right, okay. Okay.
- I don't know what is going on.
All right, that's that. Not coming back from that.
- (growls) (laughing)
- Oh, that was impressive.
I'm not dead, don't worry about it, don't worry about it.
(laughing)
- He's so cocky when he's drinking.
- I know you were watching me as if I was gonna die, but no.
(instrumental music)
All right, it's better, 53%. - 53%.
- That's much better than last time.
Let's get a huge 53% just over my face.
- I'm not gonna lie if that's with one shot,
I'm a little worried about five.
- Shot number two. (heavy rock music)
God help us all.
- All right, are we ready?
(gasps) - Yes. Yes.
(stopwatch ticking)
So you're one of the top-ranked players in the country.
- The world.
- The world, not even, the world.
- I'd say, like, top 20. - Top 20 in the world?
- Mh-hmm(affirmative). I don't think you're one of the 19.
- I'm like Darth Vader's super force project
that was, like, in the back the whole time.
Like, I've been trained by legends.
- I see.
- I don't even know if that made sense.
- That doesn't make sense.
- That didn't make sense at all.
- I know, right. (laughs)
- Well, what if I was just at home
every night playing this game.
- That's not how it works. - That's not how it works?
- No. - How does it work?
You got to play the pros to beat the pros,
and if you're not playing the pros, it's not gonna happen.
- Then it doesn't even matter.
- Right? Like, there's not some kid playing basketball
at a school that's gonna beat Michael Jordan.
You know what I'm saying?
- I will dunk on a 9-year-old Michael Jordan tonight.
- Tonight? - Tonight.
- I would bet against that.
- You would bet against it?
- Yeah. You're not even dunking on this 31-year-old.
- (laughs) I can't even dunk.
I'm kind of ready. - You're kind of ready?
- We'll see how it goes.
- Oh. That's less than the last time.
- Yeah. This is also a good level for you if...
- I know what I'm doing?
- Yeah. - Yeah. I see.
- I didn't know how to say that.
- Yeah.
- But this is also the level where I took zero damage.
- Yeah.
- Oh no, is this a combo. Oh no. (laughs)
- Look at him. - I'm getting flashbacks.
It looks like the first match.
That's at zero percent there, oh darn.
Don't let me do it again.
- Oh. I could have hit him.
- Okay. I'm thinking this might be the same thing.
So you got to shoot the laser.
- I hit him.
- Oh, wow. That's it.
- Nine percent!
- It got worse, what's the experience like.
I haven't been on that side for a very long time.
- Yeah, okay, so it's kind of like,
you know how there's that whole myth
that Robin Hood could split an arrow in a bullseye,
then they figured out that that wasn't true?
- I just lost you completely.
Hold on, so can he do it or not.
- He can't do it, it's not possible.
- So it was never done. - It was never done.
- Is this in the books or in the movie, cartoon?
- I don't know, it's in something.
Shot number 3. (heavy rock music)
- We ready? - Mh-hmm(affirmative).
(rhythmic instrumental music)
Feel it? - Oh yeah.
- Oh yeah, oh yeah. (stopwatch ticking)
Well, what are your thoughts on the universe in general?
- Oh, what do you mean in general necessarily as a question?
- In general, like, okay, here's what I believe.
They have the Aztec ruins, and you know,
images of alien type things.
And I just think that those are just people
with dreads, they're not predators, it's just whatever.
- Just people that-
- Just people with dreads that helped them out.
- I don't know if they've been here.
- Okay.
I'm saying the universe is so big we can't be the only ones.
- Either there are a shit-ton of aliens, or it's just us.
- We can't both be complicated, so complicated
that no one like us exists, but that also there might be
other people that exist other than us, you can't say it.
Okay, aliens attack the Earth.
The only way to save it is if
you play them in Super Smash Bros.
- In Super Smash Bros.?
- Yeah. How do you- - Oh, we're all dying.
- With me, I wouldn't even practice.
- You don't even practice?
- I'm not even gonna warmup for them.
If I am not good enough in Super Smash Bros. to beat aliens,
then the Earth doesn't deserve to exist.
(rhythmic instrumental music)
- Let's do it, man.
- So I'm gonna switch it up right now.
I'm gonna pick the stage, it's one of the best Falco players
in the world likes this stage, it's his best stage.
- This is his best stage?
- So I'm thinking this might inspire you to do some damage.
His name is Weston Dennis, he goes by Westballz.
So we're gonna go to Yoshi's. - Okay.
- I want to see if you can do something.
- All right. - Okay. Good luck.
- Thank you.
(heavy techno music)
- You're not as good as Westballz on this.
- No. - I'm not gonna lie.
Oh, were you trying to-
Oh, wait, wait!
How many games do we have left, we have like two?
- Yeah.
- Now like this. You got to hit me again.
Oh, you're dead, you're so dead.
How do you want to die?
(guitar riffs) - (groans)
- See, I thought you would channel your inner Westballz.
- Inner Westballz, no. - Okay.
Still 9%, so at least your remaining consistent.
- Yeah. - But that was 38 seconds.
- 10 seconds less.
Shot number four. (heavy rock music)
- (exhales deeply)
(stopwatch ticking) - So you were an accountant.
- What? - What?
- I used to be an accountant, and it wasn't for me.
It's for other people, it was
a great place to start your career.
- What was the point that made you decide to stop being
an accountant and start playing Smash professionally?
- I was working in downtown LA, it was about 2:00 AM.
I had just gotten word that Ken
got picked up by Team Liquid.
So that's the first time that that happened for any of us.
So here's one of my peers doing what I love for a living.
When I left, I just went home,
and I slept the best I've ever slept in my life,
didn't have to wake up for anybody,
didn't have to do anything for anyone.
- There goes some life advice.
- That isn't. I mean, I wouldn't advise
for anyone to do what I'm doing.
No, no, no. Hold on, we're on shot number four,
we only got a little bit left.
I haven't gone passed 53%.
I'm averaging, like, what's 9, 9, 53,
and 0, what's the average?
You can't divide zero, so I don't need
to show too much respect anymore, dude.
- Let's do it.
- All right. We haven't played this one yet.
So here's what I'm gonna do, man.
- All right.
- I'm gonna make sure that you don't die
unless I shoot you with the charge shot.
You can do whatever you want, but I'm gonna make sure
I end the stock with a charge shot.
Here's your chance, man. - Yeah, I know.
- (laughs) That's all I gotta do.
Okay. Oh wait, did that just happen?
(slow piano music) - (laughs sarcastically)
This is just bad, I'm so sad.
- I'm doing great. - Yeah you're doing all right.
Shot number five. (heavy rock music)
(stopwatch ticking) What color is Samus?
- Salmon. - Salmon.
- Pink is a different color.
Like, if you go to Dr. Mario and pick pink, that's pink.
- That's pink, all right.
- This is Samus, yeah.
I used to have, like, a fear of the color pink.
- Why?
- Because when I was growing up my mom would dress me ready
for school, for elementary school and stuff.
And in first grade I got in a fight with one
of the first graders who was very popular
because he was making fun of me
because I was wearing a pink shirt.
I hit him with the Ninja Turtles sweeping kick.
Like, I actually, literally, got underneath
and did like a sweeping kick.
- Yeah.
- I knocked him onto his ass, and he started crying.
Then the fifth graders, because they knew him
and they didn't know me,
they started chasing me out the yard.
I ran into a yard duty crying,
and she stopped them from beating me up.
I went home, and I told my mom I'm never wearing pink again.
So I think me picking this color Samus
is some kind of, like- - Yeah, like empowering.
- Yeah. I'm empowering myself.
I'm reintroducing the color back into my life. (laughs)
- Exactly. (laughs)
I'm, like, taken aback, oh man.
- So are you ready to get bodied, or...
- Oh, wow. That's a nice way to end that beautiful-
- Segue.
(heavy rock music)
- The final, good luck, the trophy.
But let me tell you right now, dude,
I'm gonna do something special for you.
- What? What?
- I'm gonna go ahead, and get rid of my own first stock.
- No! Okay.
- So we're dealing with two stocks versus one.
- Okay, dangerous.
- And I gotta be careful now because I only got one.
But you haven't taken one yet,
can you do it, what do you think?
Okay, come on. This is actually a problem.
(laughing)
- Oh, shit. (laughs)
- All right. Well, let me get serious for a sec, okay.
Okay, all right, you're dead.
- Oh. Good job. Don't worry.
(laughing)
(suspenseful music)
- I've been waiting for my time to shine, this is mine.
I've been trained by, like, legends.
I will dunk on a 9-year-old Michael Jordan tonight.
I hate you so much.
- (grunts) - Fuck. Fuck.
- I knew it was over. It was close.
- So close. - It was close.
- Oh, my God. Oh, no.
Well, there you have it.
I am way worse than a professional.
- You could have gotten a straight hit in there.
- I could've gotten a straight hit, but couldn't do it.
If you could give any tips to an aspiring professional
Super Smash Bros. Melee player, what would it be?
- Don't be afraid to get fucked up.
- Just show up, get destroyed for a bit.
Learn as much as you can, be humble.
Don't tell people that you're gonna win
when you're not gonna win. - Don't tell anyone.
Yeah, that was me. - And that's the start, man.
After that, it's up to you.
You gotta learn what you gotta learn.
- Yeah. - It's a tough game.
It's probably one of the harder games out there.
- All right, man, thanks for coming in.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Follow HugS's Twitch stream at HugS86.
And follow me at ConfusedPanda74320912.
Is that real? - No.
- Okay. (laughs) I was gonna say you gotta work on that.
- (laughs)
♪ Get down to the sound ♪
(uptempo funk music)
(moves into slow piano music)