♪♪
[audience cheering]
- Look,
but tonight, it's just you and me, okay?
I have to study for this final or I'm going to fail.
- Okay, it's fine, the test's in nine hours,
um...we only need three hours of sleep, right?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, all right, let's get started.
- You just got a text message.
- No, oh.
- From who?
- Your mom! [laughs]
Just kidding, she doesn't love you.
[audience laughs]
But you do have 393 unread emails,
two of which actually matter.
- Great.
Cell phone, I know, but not right now,
I have to focus on studying for this final.
- Yeah,
It's important.
- Yes.
- You know what else is due tomorrow,
"Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Dead Men Tell No Tales."
- RedBox, I don't want people knowing I rented
"Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Dead Men Tell No Tales."
- Well, if you don't return
"Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Dead Men Tell No Tales" soon,
you're gonna own it.
And then you're gonna have to explain to all of your friends
why you spent $34 plus tax on, I repeat,
"Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Dead Men Tell No Tales."
Study: Okay, can we please stop saying
"Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Dead Men Tell No Tales?"
Aaron: Yes, yes, I have to focus on studying for--
- Look, Facebook.
- Ooh, but Facebook--
- No, real books!
- Real books, yes.
- Ugh, close
- It is late...
- What? No, no, but finals.
- It's so, so late.
- So, so, so late.
- No, Aaron, snap out of it!
- Oh, you're right, you're right,
stop it, sleep.
- You just got a notification about--
Netflix:
Study: Ooh, how am I supposed to compete
Sleep:
- Trust me, Netflix, you look as great as ever,
but right now I have to focus on studying for this final.
- Come on, I have a long list of related shows.
- And I have a long list of apps you need to update.
- And I have a long list of sleep.
- I'll never annoy you with long lists.
- Ugh, at the rate you're going,
you're never going to annoy anyone ever again.
By the way, you do know that I have
"Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Dead Men Tell No Tales"
for free, right?
Yeah.
Aaron: Great.
Can you guys please just leave me alone so I can focus
on studying for this--
- Hey bro,
Aaron: No!
- Okay, see ya next year.
[audience laughing and cheering]
- Can you guys please--
- On the other hand, you probably should go work out.
- Wait, who are you?
- Self doubt.
I mean, I try to be.
I--well, I'll be here pretty much whenever you have downtime.
- Awesome.
I'm gonna study, and I'm gonna get some sleep.
- Aaron!
Aaron: No.
No, laundry, please, stop.
No, no, no.
[audience cheering and laughing]
- Fold me.
- Laundry, I don't even know what of you is clean
and what is dirty.
- [whispering] I'm all dirty.
- Ugh.
- Oh, laundry, did you just come out of the dryer?
'Cause that's my favorite.
This is not my favorite.
Netflix: Laundry, hey!
It's been a while since we had a folding/binge session.
Laundry: Oh, girl, please.
- Oh, no, no, no, you know what, guys?
You neglect me so much when you hang out without me.
- People love hanging out without you.
Aaron: UGH.
Can you all please leave me alone so I can focus
on studying for this final?
Study: Yeah, okay, so--
- I know you have a lot to think about,
but just remember, whether you succeed or fail,
it doesn't matter, right?
I'll always be here to make you feel like you failed.
[audience laughs]
- You just got a match on Tinder.
- Ooh!
- Oh... - Yeah, I wouldn't.
Stomach: Please, eat!
[heavy breathing]
Aaron:
that microwaveable chimichanga...
- Re-microwaving?
Nah, I'm good.
Self-doubt:
[all talk at once] - No, guys, please, please,
leave me a lone so I can focus on studying for this--
- HA, HAAA!
[all] Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Dead Men Tell No Tales?!
- I OWN YOU!
[audience cheering]
- [sleepily] Hey guys, don--don't forget
to subscribe, and like, and share,
and comment below on your to-do list,
and all things that you're supposed to do,
but you haven't done, and, just go to sleep,
take a nap, let's all take a nap right now,
in three, two, one.