What up! What up! What up! It's Marie here for another Q & A Tuesday! Yeah baby!
Okay, so before we even get into a Q & A Tuesday, chick moment! I'm super psyched about these
jeans. Check these babies out! Bell bottoms! You see they're like really good butt-huggers
but not too good where there's no, like there's no camel toe. There's no...yeah, anyway.
Q: Here's the question for today, what is the best way to deal with people who have
done us wrong knowingly sometime in the past and the memory and desire to avenge which
continues to be a part of our life? Forgiving is not easy. Wishing you all the very best!
You're an amazing person and a wonderful teacher. You simply rock! Best regards, Ari.
A: Thanks Ari, that's a really great question because it covers a super tough subject, forgiveness.
So here's what I have to say on the subject of forgiveness, we all make mistakes. Right?
I've made a ton of mistakes in my life that I absolutely feel terrible about, have regretted,
have done things to people that I love that I later look back and go, "What the hell was
I thinking?" And, I would encourage you to take a look at your own life and see what
you've done.
I mean, really take a moment here and think about the course of your life and how you
may have done things knowingly or unknowingly that have hurt people that you love. In my
experience when I've done crappy things, I am begging for forgiveness. I mean, I know
I didn't mean them. I 'm wishing. I'm apologizing. I'm doing everything possible in the hopes
that the people that I love will find some place in their heart to forgive me. Why? Because
I love that. Because I want to be connected. Because I'm human and I sometimes mistakes
and I want a second chance.
So while it is a very difficult thing to do, in my experience forgiveness is the skills
set that allows you to reach your full potential. It's what basically prevents you from putting
up that wall. It allows you to live and to love fully with your heart. It's crucial if
you want to have an amazing life and the first step is to really kind of take it away from
what someone has done to you, and really take a look at your own life.
What have you done to other people and what have people forgiven you for and can you have
that same level of compassion for whoever it is that you perceive has done you wrong?
So the other night, Josh and I went to see a screening of an amazing film called Kinyarwanda.
It won a bunch of awards at Sundance and I don't think it has distribution yet. But we'll
pop up a little something over here, over here so you can see the website (kinyarwandamovie.com)
and this amazing film in the trailer.
Anyway, it's about some stories that have been untold about the genocide that happened
in Rwanda in 1994. Incredible, incredible movie! Climaxes at the end where there this
one young woman, her name is Joan, comes face-to-face with the man who brutally murdered her parents.
And, in front of the entire village, she stands up and he stands up, and the elders of the
village ask "Joan, will you forgive him?"
She is standing there looking at the guy who murdered her parents and you know, the audience
like I was on the edge of my seat and I was about to cry. And you know, she paused and
she looked within her heart, and she said "yes." And, it was this incredible act of
courage and beauty and love, and I just had so much admiration for her even though it's
a feature film. It's based on true stories.
So it was just incredible to see this outlandishly, gorgeous, courageous act of forgiveness happen
in the most horrific situation. So while I don't know what happened in your life and
you know, I can't imagine what occurred. My guess that it's not as bad as something like
that and if it is or even worse; if one woman could find it in her heart to forgive, maybe
you can as well.
Okay, so that's all great. We've talked about the philosophy, now let's land the plane.
Here are three really practical takeaways to help embed the skill set of forgiveness
in your own life. One of the things that I do when I find myself really angry, really
upset, really hurt is I ask myself this single question, what would love do? When I reframe
my situation and really ask, what would love do, it informs my choices from a much more
beautiful, compassionate, amazing place that I want to live from. Super simple! Easy to
do!
Number two is another question that I find really useful, is what I'm doing or thinking
right now going to bring me or those around me happiness? If not, just don't do it! And
the third and final thing is a beautiful quote by Buddha and Buddha says, "Holding on to
anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else: you
are the one who gets burned." Booyah, Buddha!
So that was some heavy stuff, you all! Heavy stuff for a Q & A Tuesday but I think it was
quite successful! What do you think? If you like it, like it! You can leave a comment
below, share it with your friends. And, if you want more great stuff like this, and booyah
Buddhas and you know. I don't know any kind of crazy "bleep" we can come up with. Come
to marieforleo.com, jump on the newsletter, and that's all we got. I'll see you next time!
Thanks as always
for watching!