From the Wachowski Brothers, err-- siblings comes the mind-blowing sci-fi game-changer
and the two sequels that took a huge steaming dump on it.
The Matrix.
And it’s sequels.
Prepare for the most original sci-fi franchise since Star Wars
that ultimately went all Jar Jar Binks on itself.
Kinda like Star Wars.
Relive all the awesome moments you loved from the first film.
That one sequence you liked from the second.
And absolutely nothing from the third.
"Sh*t."
Jack in to The Matrix, a virtual reality simulation of the late 90’s, full of flip phones
Payphones
MiniDiscs
Outfits straight out of a Marilyn Manson video.
And AOL screennames.
“This is Apoc,
Switch,
and Cypher.
Tank,
and his big brother Dozer.”
"You've got mail!"
Watch as one hacker named Neo, which is an anagram for one, becomes “The One” who
can only make one facial expression.
But he’s not alone.
Meet Trinity, the love of Neo’s life
and Morpheus, the...other love of Neo’s life.
"What you know you can't explain, but you feel it.
It is this feeling that has brought you to me."
"You are the one, Neo.
I've spent my entire life looking for you."
"Try and relax.
This will feel a little weird."
"He is the one."
Get a room, you two.
Together, they’ll face off against Agent Smith, a villain so cool...
they just copied him a bunch of times instead of coming up with another cool bad guy.
Watch as these two battle in this awesomely choreographed kung-fu fight
Then in this CGI bullshit
And then in this Dragonball Z ripoff.
Kamehame-nah!
Journey to the Matrix, a world of limitless possibilities, that had audiences questioning
their own existence.
And then journey to Zion, a world of...sweaty cave ravers?
Really?
We’re gonna spend half of this trilogy here?
Ugh, can we just watch some bullet time again?
Nice.
So settle in for a film that spawned a thousand imitators...
From it’s effects
To its tone
To its wardrobe
To its own sequels.
And prepare for the thinking man’s action franchise, that got stuck way too far up it’s
own ass by the end of part two.
“While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise
contradictory systemic anomaly, that, if left unchecked, might threaten the system itself.
Ergo, those--"
I have no idea what he's talking about.
Is it too late for me to take the blue pill?
Starring...
Kung-Fu Jesus
Female Keanu Reeves
Lawrence and the Machine
White Chicks
The Boreacle
Where It All Went Wrong
Jaden’s Mom
The Last Spoonbender
Mr. Ambien
Mormons
Squidward
and Monica Bellucci
Hah, just kidding.
Boobs.
The Matrix.
And its sequels.
You know its a bad sign when your video game and direct-to-DVD cartoon are better than
your movies.
Click on the box to the left for the Screen Junkies Show One Year Extravaganza featuring
Cinema Sins,
How It Should Have Ended,
The Nostalgia Critic,
and many more!