It's kinda hot in my car
oooh a Hi
What's up, guys? -Jesus Christ- Do You See What I See? That's fuckin gross. -whispers- if you can't tell what it is. it's a hair
I'm sick. I'm not feeling so good. Okay, but guess what the YouTube GRIND doesn't stop. all right?
I already was kind of slacking this month, and I'm sOrRy, but we're back. We're fuckin back
But I'm sick and so I don't want to do any..
Creative ideas because of that we're gonna be doing what I like to call EAzY content
So we're just gonna be driving around today and just talking about what feels right
Of course, if we're gonna be doing a little driving video, we need to have a little activity, you know what I mean?
We can't just drive around aimlessly. That's f***ing stupid. Today. We're going and getting
druMROLL PLEASE . .. .
Philz! (kids cheer) we're getting Philz
I haven't gotten Philz in a video in a while..
So I don't even know if you guys all know what it is, but it's a coffee place and it's SO GOOD
I used to go there like every single day, but then I stopped because I--I- I got.. oof I can't talk
I'm like struggling cuz like my tongue is all swollen from being sick anyway,
I'm actually kinda concerned for myself because I don't think you get a swollen tongue from having a little cold
I think it's something worse
Something like chlamydia
who is screaming outside of my apartment right now?! I'm going to literally go out and whoop some ass
Do you hear that? I NEED to move..
I got an espresso machine :)))
And so now I'm like well--- f***
I can't just like go spend all my money at Philz (well, yea I can)
because I have an espresso machine like I have to start prioritizing
What means most to me, you know what I'm saying, also I wanted to try out Philz new app. This is not f***in sPoNsORED
I wish it was, like literally it-
Oh, i WiSh iT WaS Philz please like pay me a lot of money. Slide through with that coin. You feel me? I
I regret saying that Philz has this new app where basically you can order Phil's through your phone
I love how I'm talking about this app like it's some sort of like
Technological advancement that hasn't existed for like 20 years on like other apps for other...
Establishments like Starbucks has been doing this for years. Okay, but I'm a f***ing grandma and I don't go to Starbucks so I don't care
Fuck you guys, fuck you. Oh my GOD you're an idiot
You're so fucking stupid. we're at a stop sign with how hard is it to figure that out?
Disgusting bitch anyways, haha. You can order your coffee and then ten minutes later, It'll be ready. So that's what I'm doing today
I really wanted to try that because that means less human contact also cuz I'm sick and the last thing I want to deal with...
...is people being like "oh my god your voice sounds so bad are you sick?" like shut the fuck up
Anyways, I've sent a few things that have been kinda on my mind lately, and I thought you know
It wouldn't hurt to just kind of rant about 'em. Right? Right! last night
I was laying in my bed and I was like looking through my own videos
Which I never do by the time I upload it. I'm like sick of it
I'm like, I never want to see this hoe again
Right. Also, I'm like squinting because they don't have sunglasses or maybe I do nope I don't. Okay
Well, you're just gonna have to watch me squint then. I look constipated
So I was watching old videos from like four or five months ago and holy fuck that shit is so cringe
Oh my god, you would think that like not much would change in like four or five months?
No, I was literally like watching a cardboard box fucking talk
We don't talk about that anymore cuz that's just too sad almost but I'm glad though cuz I guess it's good and bad
It's like that means I'm growing, you know I'm evolving so I need to like order my coffee right now like as I'm driving
Right and the coffee takes ten minutes to like be created
I don't wanna like order in the parking lot cuz then I'll be waiting but I also can't order it while I'm driving cuz I
Cuz I'll fucking crash the car and die also I decided I'm gonna not bleep out my f-bombs anymore
So do not watch my videos around your mom. Well, actually I take that back
I'm gonna bleep out some of them sometimes I'm just gonna bleep out them when I feel like it like if I'm like
Oh, well, I kind of need that f-bomb right there, then I'll leave it
But if it's like an unnecessary f-bomb, I'll bleep it out. If it's one that really didn't need to be there
Just kind of like a filler. I really
Need to work on my vocabulary
Okay, oh my god we have a red light right now I'm gonna see if I can order this okay
I might be able to do this... fuck. I just did the first step. I just typed it all in
So now all I have to do is press pay
But I don't want to do that while I'm driving because as I said before I want to preserve my life
You know what? I mean? Like I'm
Feel like I could live a pretty long life
As long as I just like kind of keep things under wraps, you know large creamy almond milk no sugar iced. Perfect
funny story about this app earlier
I decided that I would like place the order because I like assumed that they would let you choose your pickup time right I was
Like well if I order it now, they'll be ok if I want to pick it up in like an hour
So I was gonna do that right you're ahhh fuck you. Sorry, I just cut a bunch of people off. Haha
Don't even care Yolo bitches. I placed the order
They never said anything about time and like pickup time before I place the order after a place order
It showed on the top of the app. It was like pickup in 10 minutes. I'm like bitch immediately. I'm like panicking
I'm like, I can't be there in 10 minutes and then below it
There's a little thing that says made a mistake on your order? cancel right now. You have 30 seconds, and I'm like
faaaAAAA
Like quickly like I'm canceling it. This guy's staring at me. Imagine being me
Imagine literally giving a thumbs up to someone staring at you in traffic like who the fuck does that?
Actually, I'll just act like I'm talking on the phone
So yeah
So basically, she said that in and then because her yesterday and I don't know
I'm just feeling like really because I'm just feeling really kind of confused about it business-wise, you know
And I don't know. I'm just kind of lately
Well, I mean yesterday she told me but it was kind of like and you know what I mean
Because she didn't tell me all of it. She just kind of told me some of it and so ok
I have to put you down
Sorry, that was the most uncomfortable thing. That's ever happened to me
That guy was dead ass staring at me and I'm like, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
I can't talk to my camera right now. If you're looking at me like that, I don't even care
I feel like even Casey Neistat would be uncomfortable in that situation and that man vlogs anywhere!
Fuck youuu
OH...You're old though. So it's fine. Meh can't be mad. I can't be mad
It's like illegal to be mad at an old person while driving. Did that guy just flip me off?
I'm like, you literally cut ME off bitch. You can't flip me off now
That's not how the rolls can't it's not how it you know what I mean?
Don't want to hit a pedestrian and then go to jail, you know, ah, there's...oh fuck.
Ooooh
aaack
I'm gonna go why am I now in a driveway? How did this happen? And how am I here?
It's time to pick up my Philz. Let's see as you can tell I'm ecstatic
I also just rewatched some of my footage and I was filming like the lower half of my body
Primarily and I just want to apologize for that because no one wants to see that
Yeah, that's what you're gonna get but it's not what I know you want. You know what I'm saying?
Yaaay. I've officially decided that this whole order for pickup thing is just genius. I literally walked in there
It was already made for me. It was perfect. It was an amazing encounter. I am so blessed for it
Why is my blinker on? Okay
Tastes great. The funny thing about coffee is that it's not actually that good like it kind of tastes bad
But you're more just like anticipating the results. I don't know what I was talking about here like coffee
Tastes amazing. You know that if you drink a coffee, you're gonna shit later and that's like great
You know what? I mean? You also know that you're gonna have energy so you're like excited about it
So it's almost like you like the flavor because you know, it's gonna have good results for you
I don't know. Think about that next time
Let's talk about what I've been thinking about lately number one
Kanye West's Twitter. The thing about it is that I actually don't care about it AT ALL
I could not give less fucks about something. I wanted to tell a little story
I like made the conscious decision to like not follow Kanye just because I don't care about what he has to say. Also because...
...Everybody is talking about it enough...
...So like I just felt like they can tell me if anything crazy happens and I'll just unfollow him.
So I've literally seen maybe three of his tweets, right?
I don't even know what everyone's like ranting about like I don't even know why everyone's so angry at him
I don't know because I don't really want to look it just kind of feels good to me to not have that burden and I'm like
proud of me!
I feel like I'm rebelling against society for not knowing anything about his tweets and not reading them!
But all of this was happening, right?
I was like consciously rebelling I was like
I don't want to read these I don't really care
Occasionally one of his tweets would show up in my timeline because somebody would like like it or retweet it or whatever
usually it was just stupid inspirational quotes and that was the end of that but
One day one of his tweets shows up in my timeline and I was like, how is this in here?
I looked at the top nobody had retweeted it, nobody had liked it
I'm like what the fuck happened what happened? Next is frightening. I look at his account. I click on it
right and I see that I'm following him and I was like
No, I'm not what the fuck meaning that something happened that made me follow him and I have a conspiracy to the fUCKING government
It's paying on Kanye to put ideas into our brains and the government wants us to read his tweets
So if we don't follow him the government follows him for us
Oh fuck
Oh...
Kind of zoned out there for a second, you know, what I should do right now
I'm gonna react to a few of his tweets cuz I haven't like seen any of them
This isn't bad. Like this is nice. Like I agree. Like I need this advice sometimes like sometimes I do need a walk outside
Okay, I mean like, this is like a literal like 2012 Pinterest quote. Like that's it. Okay
I'm not gonna read anymore cuz they really don't give a fuck speaking of Twitter
I am still not verified on ANY social media platforms!
Ohhh you poor thing!
and a lot of you guys are like Emma, why the fuck aren't you verified?
Like asking me as if I know the reason. I have NO clue. The only real benefit for it
Is that just looks cool
It doesn't really have any kind of like visible benefits
Like it doesn't benefit me in life except for like maybe boost my ego for like five minutes and then I'll go back to self-loathing
You know what else I've been thinking about I'm a little bit punchy right now
Like I'm a little bit violent like I feel like I'm a little bit aggressive. That's the word!
You know what, I'm not gonna like hide it, like I'm gonna show this to you
I'm gonna like let you live this life with me, okay?
anyway
It's time to go. I need to leave. I think I need to drive away
I'm being very aggressive and this whole entire video is just so fucking weird
Like, what even happened?
I want you to leave here feeling like you have something tangible that you can like use
To apologize to you and to make you feel like you got something of value
Out of this video and not just watching me be aggressive for 20 minutes
I think we should do a little playlist video
Segment because I need to listen to some music because I'm just kind of like triggered right now
Why am I triggered? like nothing fucking happened? That's like that
Shows you I've been on Twitter too much.
FUCK, I just drove by a cop! I drove through a yellow light
It turned red in the middle of the intersection or whatever and I know that's not illegal
I don't think but there's a cop right there and I'm like fuck. I'm also jamming out
This might be the end of my driving career, I might get my license taken away right now!
Not even because I broke a rule just because I deserve it. I don't even deserve to have my license
I'm way too rowdy for this shit. Anyways back to jamming out.
Ahhh is this illegal? I don't know. Well, I did it so...
This next song, it fucking bops! it's by "Declan McKenna" Declan if you're watching this, let's go on a date! Just kidding...
*Notices someone staring at here and laughing*
fuuuUUU
Fuck.
FUCK.
Um no, this is so bad, oh my god this is so bad Oh my god AH I need oh my god, I'm in so much pain
I'm literally in pain because I saw someone laughing at me like they know, like they know what's happening
Ok like I'm so embarr- do you what? I don't care.
No, I do care like that was so embarrassing! I always regret it! Like I feel like I'm in my own world
I feel like no one can see me, but like no like everyone can see me! and like that's the thing
I'm filming DAD!
Hi everyone
So yeah
My camera just turned off and I was just talking to the camera with like no one actually like with the camera being off for
about
20 minutes so like I mean, yeah, like we're doing good. I'm not even filming right now. Like I don't even know
Yeah, I am. That's a first. This is about to get sooo aggressive because I'm angry now
Okay? let's go back to what we were gonna do
Yeah everybody already knows that shit, I'm not gonna play anymore. Okay moving on
So um,
Before I play this song I just like to kind of run it all by you and make sure you guys are all aware that
I did in fact hear this song live while I was at
Coachella, yeah
I'm just want to like make sure you guys were all aware that I was in fact AT Coachella
And while I was there, I actually did hear the song live
So I just wouldn't want to run that all by you guys
All right
Make sure you guys all knew and we're all completely aware of the fact that I was at Coachella and heard this song live
So I was at Coachella and I heard it live and it was amazing
Seriously the best time of the year, I mean wow
It was just unreal and actually while it was, wait funny story while I was at Coachella
I actually got to hear this song live fucking unreal. So yeah. Alright, let's get right into it
Not to mention that I did actually hear this song live at Coachella
How did that happen??
This song makes me like really emo so I'm not going to play a lot of it cuz like I don't want to get emo right now
like i'm already aggressive like now I don't want to be sad AND aggressive like that's a bad, dangerous combo.
Doesn't it sound like it'd be from like the Lord of the Rings soundtrack. I don't know, like it's good!
So that song slaps. I hope the cameras still on like at this point like the god only knows Jesus Christ
it is still on and I'm proud of me because guess what?
I didn't think it was gonna be. I didn't think it was and it is. The thing is like once I start a playlist
Segment like it's it cannot be short and then it's like next thing
I know I've been filming for like nine hours. This video could've been over right now
Like this video could have been over a minutes ago, but you know what?
we're still going because I decided that I would show you every song I've ever liked in my entire life!
What the FUCK!?
Wait, what the fuck is going on here? oh my god, I'm watching like a dad like film his child like, with, I don't, nevermind...
And I'm gonna cut someone off you feel me? like especially this Tesla right now like you know
You can't cut off Tesla's like they will ruin your life, so I just have to be considerate of that. Okay? Thank you God.
Ok do you know what? That's it for today's video,
I am done. OK? I'm done.
I think that like that song makes me less like feel less aggressive like my aggressiveness is like lowered about
4% like I'm still very aggressive. But yeah, thank you for watching this. I love you so much, you're amazing and you're important to me and you're my best friend
Stay cool and I'll see you in the next one. Peace out.