well a lot of people start off the year
with resolutions right to declutter your
home your finances but a big one is
decluttering your relationships exactly
a lot of the work starts when you look
in the mirror right it starts with us
and the things that personally hold us
back from being our best selves so here
to help us declutter our relationships
is Roni Hormel therapist morning from
Birmingham maple clinic thank you for
being here such a pleasure to always be
here with you guys I love that I love to
chat with you you've been on live in the
BX yes several times now we've got you
in studio and we're gonna start with
number one we're gonna help people
declutter their lives exactly what you
say is decluttering your relationships
right by starting with you and letting
go of your personal hang-ups exactly so
a lot of times you know we can have
negative beliefs about ourselves that
we're not good enough negative thoughts
I need to do better I need to do more
instead of just being ourselves and I
always tell people I know we've talked
about this book before in your episode
acknowledge instead of trying to put it
push it away just acknowledge it like
wow you know I know that sometimes I
feel like guilty about this are not
doing enough or I need to do more so
acknowledge that what are we doing for
doing ripping away
we're knowledge again by even
selfishness yes you're ready spend time
with people cuz you don't grow in
isolation right Ronnie you don't and
people are always when they're really
looking for New Year's resolutions what
do they want to do they want to feel
better
okay connection is what makes us feel
better
so really instead of you know spending
all this time on ourselves spend time
with other people dance gonna boost you
know serotonin and get us to feel better
so even Unforgiven unforgiveness it's
not worth it it's not a negative energy
it's not it's weighing us down
that's right right to connect you say
that we need to disconnect so we're all
glued to our phones me included like I
have this thing right on me even during
the whole show sure my family's watching
this and they're like Ronnie needs to be
the first one to be able all right so
tell us why it's important to just kind
of let go of the electronics get off
social media couple things we're on TV
so we don't have that much time okay
very tech so
first of all you know speaking of TV
when we're watching TV its kind of
social we're laughing we're talking to
people we're like oh my god did you see
that that was great when we're like this
I'm not engaged with you okay so not
only am i isolated but we're not really
engaging the same way if we were
watching a show another thing that's
very interesting that people don't
realize unless you're a psychologist is
there is all the studies that I contact
so right now how we are that's building
oxytocin that makes us feel good so when
we're communicating like this we are
forming a connection and building
oxytocin when I'm like this or not and
so it's very interesting now a lot of
people are struggling with anxiety a lot
of younger kids we're not even sure yet
of what the future will be like for
people who's developing brains have not
had the oxytocin that maybe we've had
it's very interesting it's scary it's
interesting we have to pay attention all
right and you also say last thing in our
last minute be a better listener exactly
okay listen to people do you know how
many times that people actually aren't
listening we're already ready to come
back with the next comment before we're
listening I tell people be more quiet
and just listen to what people are
saying that is what's going to bring us
together
and again what I started with that's
what's going to make us feel better I
love it thank you so much thank you so
this is what I want to invite you guys
to do Ronnie and I are gonna be on the
live in the D extra live in the D
Facebook page for a lot of the extra
it's going to be up at 1:30 to continue
this conversation then we're going to go
from decluttering your relationships in
your mind and setting intention setting
intentions as versus resolutions what's
the difference how to do it we'll talk
about it join us that's right and Ronnie
is going to give us advice beyond what
you usually hear you're gonna love it
join us that'll be up at 1:30