- Merry Christmas!
Yeah that's right I said it. What are you gonna do about it, ATHEISTS?!
Christmas carols are an integral part of creating the Christmas atmosphere.
Okay, yes I agree its annoying when radio stations play Christmas music directly after Halloween,
But when December finally rolls around, and Michael Buble emerges from his cave,
(Dat Face Tho)
Magic fills the air.
And if you worked in retail, you probably listened to every single Christmas song ever created.
After many hours of research, I have found that there's 2 types of Christmas music.
On one side, you have songs about Santa Claus.
And on the other side, you have songs about... Jesus.
Isn't it funny that "Santa" is an anagram for "Satan"?!
Just something to think about... (Thanks for ruining Santa, James!)
Christmas is easily the most sung-about holiday.
Halloween isn't even in a close second.
But its also the most diverse genre of music out there.
You have songs like "Away In a Manger" and "Silent Night" that can put anyone to sleep.
But under the same umbrella, you have "Santa Baby" and "Christmas Don't Be Late"
by Alvin and the Chipmunks. I love Christmas carols, okay?
Its one of the few good things left in this world that brings a smile to my face.
But, now I want to talk about the Christmas carols that don't make a lot of sense.
Starting with the song "Silent Night."
Okay, sure I've never given birth before.
But, I don't know if "All is calm, all is bright" is a good way to describe the process of childbirth.
I get that it was Jesus, he's perfect, okay.
But he's still a baby!
Mary STILL had to go into labor.
I don't know, I see all of these nativity scenes with Jesus being the center of attention and Mary just off to the side with
everyone else.
But she just gave birth, you guys! Someone needs to build Mary her own manger to lay down in.
Also, "Sleep in heavenly peace?" Yeah, your not gonna do that ever again.
So the song "Last Christmas" is about when Taylor Swift gave someone her heart for Christmas,
But then on December 26th, they re-gifted it to someone else.
So then the very next year she ♪ Gave it to someone special... ♪
I don't know what the moral of that song is, but it could've been about ANY holiday.
They just happen to break up the day after Christmas.
♪ Last Earth Day, I gave you my heart ♪
See, that still works!
Walking In A Winter Wonderland, I have a question.
Who is Parson Brown? Why is the first thing he says when he comes to life:
- Hey, uh, are you kids married? (???)
- No, man!
(Silence)
But you can do the job when your in town if you know what I'm saying. ;)
Oh, Parson is a priest. He was asking "Are you kids married, 'cause I'm a priest.
I can marry you two. That's my job. Ah." Carol of the Bells?
Now, I love this song, but honestly I don't see how this counts as Christmas music.
Have a Holly Jolly Christmas? What do you mean by "Kiss her once for me?"
Are you cheating on me?
Baby Its Cold Outside? Okay, now this one is extremely problematic.
Why don't they just put a coat on?
All I want for Christmas is,
My two front teeth, a hippopotamus, and
🎵Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuu!🎵
*DAB*
I would NOT wanna meet the person who made this Christmas list.
Just saying.
I'm Getting Nuttin' For Christmas?
How did I NOT know about this song until just now?
Alright, how many Christmas songs can say that they got a movie based off of them?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Yeah, yeah it's classic.
Frosty the Snowman? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm yeah good choice.
Uh, the little drummer boy got a movie? Okay, fine, yeah I'll count that.
I think you're all missing the REAL classical Christmas song.
♪ Grandma got ran over by a reindeer! ♪
In the song, its canon that grandma died.
But at least in the movie, grandma lived. She just got kidnapped by Santa because he
was trying to hide the evidence.
You know, no witnesses.
I hope they don't make a "Baby, It's Cold Outside" movie. Just an hour and a half of people not putting on jackets.
Anyways, I have to keep this video extremely short if I wanna get it out by Christmas.
I hope you all have a good holiday. And if you don't celebrate Christmas,
You're missing out on some great carols, and questionable morals.
Thanks for watching, I'm gonna be taking some time off to celebrate Christmas with my family.
Remember to buy dat merch, and as always,
wear your seatbelt. (Captions by Denise)
(Merry Christmas! 🎄)