right now it's time to get to our latest installment of stupid petrics people
from all over the tri-state area have brought their pets dogs cats other animals in here and
going to perform the tricks that they have been taught at home now let me remind you
uh this is not a competition it's only an exhibition please no wagering now
let me introduce our first participant tonight carrie seller carrie
oh hi hi carrie how are you nice to see you sir and this is your dog who that's buddy hi buddy
how are you give him a little hey nice smile she's smiling what kind of dog is buddy uh he's a mutt
is it matt how old uh i will be seven on the fourth of july all right and what uh will you
and buddy do for us tonight well buddy spends my money and then i drink the beer when we get home
buddy buys beer for you that's correct you're apparently not of age well neither see so between
the two of us would get away well how did you uh teach him to do this it's a whole bunch of
little tiny things put together that's how i do this all right well if if you need me
i'll be right here okay uh this is buddy and his dog carrie and uh they're gonna buy some
beer now what do i do you're the clerk i'll be the clerk i stand over here yes sir i'll be over here
oh the only thing you have well let me let me get the beer he can show you while we're talking sure
what the hell am i doing now at a boy bring it over here oh the dog brings the beer i just hold
it for a minute now he's going to come over and put his feet up here hand you the beer
okay i take the beer right that's a very nice dog stay there and hold it then just going to
pull the money out of the rubber band and you take it oh okay that's the hard part no one can ever do
that well what happens they just forget things oh they're freezing yeah sure okay well no okay
then after you've got the money you know the last dog that came in here like this held the place up
are you listening okay let's go uh uh uh okay bud right up here that's the store clerk this is the
world's biggest hi buddy how are you take the beer take let me take the beer and can i have the money
you didn't you didn't take it
uh would you like some beer nuts maybe some uh
razor blades flints for your lighter all right let's take a look at uh buddy here in slow motion
there's more oh forgive me i'm sorry he wants to take the beer so that i can drink it so you take
that and i'm sorry good heavens if only they'd tell me what time the rehearsal is i'd be happy
to be there all right i give it back to him no no put it in here i'll put it in there there you go
the old snowflake yeah well the mets look pretty good don't throw my money in there too please
yeah me and the wife are going to try to get off the street all right there you go pal
thank you very much
alex
yeah that's a dog boy that's that's a dog's dog that's the way dogs ought to be you know
that's uh buddy all right our next participant tonight uh adam zwigg mr zwigg
is that right adam no david how do you pronounce it
this is why i'm awfully sorry forgive me sir adam nice to meet you nice to meet you today
and uh where are you from i'm from harvard university oh my god you have uh you have a
strange looking watch there adam what is this this is spot and he's a a madagascar giant cockroach
and obviously a favorite with the audience uh
where where do you get uh i guess madagascar but uh how is it that you have
one that big well this was sort of given to me by by friend oh yes i'm sure it was now uh
what are you and that animal gonna do i just i guess you're just gonna beat it to death for us
what's your trick maybe not uh well that's not very nice no i'm sorry that's a good
spot sensitive to this kind of things okay um uh how long have you had that thing uh we've
had them for but actually we've had two this is actually spot to the original spot um we've had
we had for about two months till he died yeah and how long do you think this one will be around um
after tonight i'm not sure how how big will he get is that it for him no he can get a foot too
but the size of a honda yeah uh okay adam whatever whatever you're gonna do go right ahead okay and
uh tonight's spot is gonna climb the tightrope over the fires of hell and the uh pit of doom
she brought along with me here uh dave i need you to help me could you grab that that tight rope
will be happy to hold the rope where do you want me okay you can put it right in front of spot's
head here that that is his head yep and i've been fishing what do these things eat by the way
oh now if he drops work oh come on spot
okay i'm gonna light the uh fire of hell right now
this okay and i'll take a few days it looks like it might be good on a cracker
maybe not okay adam do you want me to uh oh now you're not gonna roast this beast are you not not
if he walks fast enough okay okay spot you ready and i have this place closed down oh no no no
no spot
this may have been one of our most dramatic moments on stupid patrick's here again through the
miracle of slow motion instant videotape replay oh my god nice meeting you thank you very much thank
you very much i just want to thank john red very very much for letting me on spot's covering thanks
again spots co-owner they had someone co-sign a loan to get that thing uh thank you very much adam
his co-owner uh all right uh rina on another name i'm having trouble with rinna rina is it reena
good heavens is two or three hundred people here tonight in support of rena frederick rina hi
i didn't i didn't get your last name back did it friedrich nice to meet you where are you
from reno i'm from babylon babylon and uh this is your pet obviously yes this is corky corki and uh
a handsome looking kitty how old is corki he's about seven i'd say all right very nice looking
cat what will corky do for us well he thinks he's a break dancer sometimes all right uh is
there anything i can do for you and corki or just uh just watch i hope he does it all right did you
teach the camp to do this no he came that way of the options you can get at the showroom come here
all right corky the cat will now break dance what are you feeding him there arena roast beef roast
beef all right come here cookie come here would you like to buy some beer we have a few left
give me a question quirky the cat will be breaking do you need a little music arena
maybe i don't know come here cookie a little soft music we don't want to frighten the poor uh
that's a very nice looking cat
yeah that seemed to be what just exactly what we needed come on
okay is that even your cat
all right let me get a rule here what are we gonna do okay well uh well if we have time
you can come back and give it another shot but we're gonna have to move on for right now okay
thank you very much reena i'm not so sorry hi corki bye-bye
that's a real disappointment these kids work so hard making their own costumes and then
doesn't mean anything all right marty diamond ladies and gentlemen marty
hi marty how are you oh boy boy oh boy we got trouble here what is this this is an english
bull terrier english bull terrier what are they is it a friendly dog sometimes why is
he friendly tonight yes what's his name boy boy come here boy oh i see how that works that's great
what an imagination all right hi boy how you doing now he's got some pig blood in him doesn't he
hello boy that's a great looking dog what is he
gonna do for us tonight marty he walks with a bag on his head
okay she
walks with a bag on his head ladies and gentlemen
okay here you go marty diamond and his dog boy yes sir congratulations marty nice job
there you go that was a stupid technique we we don't have time another past arena do we
maybe later in the show later maybe next week yeah uh we gotta we gotta
pause now we'll be right back with ruth westheimer the bag on the head
you