Well, after a film as nineties as 'A Goofy Movie',
we can go even MORE nineties-ies-er...
with An Extremely Goofy Movie!
Yup, because everything in the nineties was EXTREME!
...Actually I'm surprised I didn't spell this with an 'X', because...
...well, we'll get to that in a minute.
In a sense this is exactly what I think of when I hear "Direct-to-DVD sequels",
or, at least... what I thought they were gonna be before they started doing the big popular movies.
'Goofy Movie' was... a modest success, and it did pretty well on VHS,
so it kind of figured to do a direct-to-DVD movie
- that's just kinda what they did back then.
Aand honestly you get what you'd expect a movie like this would offer.
It opens with Max and his friends getting ready to go off to college.
Goofy once again is having a hard time, as a loving parent, letting go of his kid.
To its credit, while it is cramming a lot of the 'cool stuff' at the time in your face,
it does take some time to... aactually be a little emotionally considerate.
But things go south when Goofy is fired from his job and has to find another one.
He's told that the majority of jobs require college degrees nowadays...
...soo enter exactly what ya think is gonna happen:
Goofy goes to college with Max.
...Aaand enter pretty much every other thing you think is gonna happen:
Max enters a competitive sport,
there's a bully that makes fun of him,
they're preppy cheaters who make fun of the fact that his father is there,
who of course makes things worse...
Max is embarrassed, their relationship is pulled apart again...
...and of course it ends with some sort of big sports event.
...Oh, did I say "some sort of event", like I forgot what it was?
No no! I remember, you couldn't forget for the life of you!
It's the 'X Games'!
Because they pound it. The hell. Into you.
It's beyond obvious that Disney owns ESPN, because they plaster that everywhere, too!
Max's whole goal in this thing is to enter the X Games, and win it.
It's so weird to see that logo without some sort of parody or satire in there!
But no! It's all just one obvious commercial!
It's... really weird.
So, okay. The story is about as recycled as it can get.
Is there anything good in it?
Nyyeah, there's a couple things.
Like I said, there's one or two emotional moments, that are... brief, but effective.
I feel like the animation is trying to be funnier than it's allowed.
Like the bully character: he's animated funny, he's voiced by a funny voice actor...
...but he's just not given any dialog or scenes that are very funny.
But at the same time: look at him!
You kinda wanna laugh at him a little bit.
Goofy also starts a bit of a romance with this librarian who's also a little quirky and awkward,
and again, look at how she's animated - you do kinda wanna laugh at her...
...But the key word is "want".
As in, they "want" you to laugh, they want to get a reaction out of you...
...but there's just not that much substance there.
Some scenes I don't even get!...
Like, Max and the bullies are in this beatnik coffee house, which...
...do those even exist anymore...?
I mean I know there's coffee houses but... come on, these people look like they're outta the 50s, not the 90s.
And they all start snapping.
That... for some reason scares the bullies away!
I don't get it!
This whole movie feels like a really good joke being set up, but...
...for whatever reason we never quite get the punchline.
It kinda holds back and never becomes anything,
and just sorta falls into that mesh of typical college movies, except now for kids.
Hell, did this inspire 'Monsters U'?
Oh, I'm so thankful for that...!
I don't think these are as entertaining as Disney thinks they are.
It just kinda feels like opportunities that are never fully taken advantage of.
...And speaking of which, I'm just gonna say it:
I miss Roxanne!
...I mean, I know, high school, going to different colleges, puppy love, separation, all that stuff, but...
I'm sorry!
They were a really cute couple!
Couldn't the movie have been about that, maybe about them breaking up, or
deciding whether or not they want to stay together or going to different schools...
You know, actual interesting stuff?
Stuff that some kids may need to know when going to college?
But nope!
It's all about being the sports star and trying not to be embarrassed by your 'wacky parents'!
*sigh...* ...I'd see this only if you're a die-hard Goof Troop fan, or...
...I don't know, an example of a movie TRYING to save itself, despite a bad script...
But, if none of that interests you, it's exactly what you think a direct-to-DVD movie's gonna be.
Take it for what it's worth and see 'The X Games' yourself.
--I mean 'An Extremely Goofy Movie' yourself.
...Gah, stupid tie-in...!