-I´m psyched. I want to talk about this book.
I´m very excited about this. -It´s crazy, right?
-Yeah, no -- -I´m an author. This is insane.
-Yes. You´re in the Library of Congress.
This is -- it´s true. [ Cheers and applause ]
Really, it´s real good. -Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause continue ]
First, I want to wish you a happy early birthday, all right?
Isn´t your birthday around this time?
-Yeah. October 29th.
-October 29th is your date of birth.
-Yeah. Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
-What do you do? You always do fun parties.
What´s your -- What´s your theme this year?
-This year, the theme is sweatsuits and sneakers.
-Yeah! -Yeah.
It´s -- Like, all -- The themes are always kind of geared
toward people actually dancing...
-Yeah.
-...and having no excuse not to dance and getting sweaty.
-What were the other ones? You did Pajama Jammy Jam.
-We did the Pajama Jammy Jam. We did Old-school Pep Rally,
where you had to dress up in your old high school --
like, from your high school or your college.
-That´s awesome. -We did ´80s "Miami Vice."
-Oh! -...where we had, like --
like, live alligators. [ Light laughter ]
-That´s fantastic. -I mean, you -- of -- of course.
-Of course. You -- -Everybody.
-One must. One must. -Yeah.
-If you want to dance, you have to have alligators.
-Like, I get it. -Yeah, of course.
-And -- And 2 Live Crew. So that was a great --
That was -- yeah. Uncle Luke.
It ain´t no party if Uncle Luke´s not there.
So... -Oh, my gosh!
-That was a very good time. -The real 2 Live Crew?
-Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. -Oh, fantastic.
-It was a good time.
-And I want to get to the book.
But I want to say congratulations
on "Being Mary Jane." -Thank you.
-This is -- It´s wrapping up after four seasons.
-Yeah, yeah. -But you´re wrapping up
with almost the way you started, right?
-With the movie. -Yeah.
-Yeah. -Well, I´m psyched about this.
-Everyone´s psyched,
But everyone has a different idea
of what Mary Jane´s happily ever after
should look like. -Well, how did --
I mean, the show started -- wasn´t it a movie first?
-A movie week, mm-hmm. -Yeah.
-And then... -And then people loved it,
so, like, "Oh, let´s make it into a..."
-Yeah.
-So it´s almost fitting that it ends...
-Yeah. -Are you -- Are you --
Is it bittersweet? -It´s bittersweet.
I´ve -- She´s one of my favorite characters I´ve ever played.
-Yeah. -And she´s completely imperfect.
And there was the bed-wetting stage, which was --
adult bed-wetting not as fun... -No.
-...to play. -But it is -- it is real, and...
-She had a real hard time keeping a man
during the -- the peeing stage. -[ Laughs ] Yes. Yes.
-"Oh, was that me? I don´t -- Sorry."
[ Laughter ] -Yeah, so that was weird.
-"One of us -- One of us wet the bed."
[ Laughter ] Yeah. Yeah.
Let´s talk about this -- "We´re Going to Need More Wine."
-Yeah.
-And how did you think of the title for this one?
-You know, I wanted the book
to feel like a conversation with friends.
-Yeah. -And when I´m with my friends,
telling tales out of school, we have wine.
So, if the -- if the conversation starts off like,
"Girl, hold up. We´re going need more wine.
Hold on." [ Laughter ]
-All you need is "Girl"? -Yeah, "Girl,"
and it´s, "Wait. Hold up. Hold up. We need...
Bring them all back." -Yeah, right.
-"I need a Chardonnay."
[ Laughter ] But, yeah.
And I just wanted it to feel like an honest conversation.
-Could you give us an example
of one of the stories in -- in the book?
-Okay. There´s -- There´s -- -It goes --
-It´s great, so funny, but it goes all over the place.
-Yeah, we cover a lot of ground.
-It´s so fun. It really is entertaining.
-One of the funnier stories that I can tell
is called "Who Hates You Most?"
There´s a chapter called "Who Hates You Most?"
And we -- it was --
we´re during a tornado warning, watch or whatever.
And so we´re all taking shelter and bored.
And someone was like, "Okay, who hates you most in the world?"
And I was like, "I´ve got a story that tops all stories."
[ Laughter ] -"This one first."
-Yeah. This girl -- I mean, this is like from high school.
She was like -- like evil comment sections,
like, but as a real person. [ Laughter ]
-And her -- her commitment -- -Evil comments section,
but as a real person, yeah. -Yeah.
Her level of commitment to my pain was so thorough.
-Oh, no. -Like, I´d never met her.
She was the best friend of the girl
that had dated a guy I had dated previously.
Like, it was that kind of loose association,
and she decided I had to, like, die.
And she showed up at a pep rally.
You know how you have the a big pep rally
right before Christmas break? -Yeah.
-So, I´m sitting there, front row.
You know, my little --
my girlfriend´s, like, you know, cheerleading.
And this woman -- She -- imagine The Predator...
[ Laughter ]
...shows up.
And she´s like, "I´m gonna whup your ass, bitch!"
[ Laughter ]
And everyone was, like, looking around, like, "Who´s she?"
´Cause, you know, obviously she didn´t go to my school.
Everyone´s looking around like,
"Somebody´s about to get their ass kicked."
And, I´m like, "I know. It´s gonna be crazy.
I´m gonna watch, though." [ Laughter ]
And I´m looking around like, "Who is she --"
-"Who´s she yelling at?" -"Whose ass is she gonna kick?"
And I -- I was like, "´Cause this is crazy."
And she´s like, "Gabrielle Union!
You! You! I´m gonna kick your ass!"
[ Laughter ] And..."M-Me?"
-Oh, my gosh. What?! -Yeah.
So, like, security got her off -- off --
got her -- got her out of -- out of school.
And I immediately -- I´m shaking,
like, I´ve had a near-death experience.
[ Laughter ] And I call my older sister,
who shows up at the school,
and she´s like, "I´ma fight her."
And I´m like, "No, we´re not gonna wait around.
No. We´ve got -- We´ve got to get home."
So, but, like -- I mean, it´s Friday the 13th.
So you know like Jas-- you know "Friday the 13th"...
-Yeah.
-...1 through like 17 -- Jason pops up everywhere?
So I´m at the -- at the mall,
shopping for a Christmas gift
for my boyfriend that she´s very upset about.
And I´m coming down the escalator with my mother.
And she´s at the bottom of the escalator
with -- [ Laughter ]
-That´s a horror movie in itself called "The Escalator,"
´cause you have to run into her. -Yes.
-I´ve got to get down. No, no. -It -- It´s an escalator.
-I thought I could outrun her.
I try to turn around and run back up the escalator.
[ Laughter ]
My mom was like, "No, we´re gonna face this."
I´m like, "You -- You don´t understand."
So we get to the bottom of the escalator,
and she proceeds to say,
"I´m going to whup your ass in front of your mama!"
[ Laughter ]
And I am -- I´m shaking.
And my mom goes, "I can´t believe
you´d be afraid of a girl with a bullet bra."
[ Laughter ]
"What? Who care-- Who cares?"
-"Mom, Mom, stop sticking up for me.
Mom, stop." Yeah. -She´s trying to kill me.
But, like, literally, for the next six months...
-She would just -- -...at the nail salon --
-You would see her.
-At my high-school games, she would pop up like Jason
and literally want to kill me
and -- and always sounded like -- like a WWE promo.
[ Laughter ]
Like, always with the, "I´m gonna whup your ass!
I told you the next time I saw you, I was gonna whup your ass!"
And I´m like, "You did say you were gonna whup my ass.
[Voice breaking] You did say that!"
[ Laughter ] -Oh, my God!
-So cut to -- somebody was like, "What´s her name?
I´m gonna look her up on Facebook."
And we´re shooting in --
we shoot "Being Mary Jane" in Atlanta.
And guess where she lived.
[ Audience oohs ]
-She lives in Atlanta. -Atlanta.
-Oh, my goodness!
-I was like, "She´s going to find me,"
´cause, you guys, her level of commitment was so thorough.
I mean, she´s probably in the audience right now.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Like, she´s gonna be like,
"Aah! I told you, the next time I saw you,
I was gonna whup your ass, bitch!"
[ Laughter ] Like...yeah.
-Much deeper voice now. -Very deep. Very deep.
-You´ve moved yet again... -Yeah.
-...´cause your husband is -- is on a new team now.
-New team. -He´s on the Cavaliers.
-Yes. -And you´re moving to Cleveland.
-We are in Cleveland.
-You are in Cleveland right now. -Yes.
Nettie and Celie have been reunited,
and they are happy. -I mean, come on.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-[ Laughs ] -Yeah.
-I´m psy-- -Thank you for that.
-Yeah. -Thank you.
It´s a slow clap. -Yeah, but --
-"Nettie and -- Oh, they got each other! Yes!"
[ Laughter ] Thank you. Thank you.
-The -- Well, I wanted to make sure
that you had the -- the -- the right welcome to Cleveland.
-Oh. -So to help us out,
from one of his great Cleveland restaurants, Mabel´s BBQ...
-[ Gasps ] -...here is Chef Michael Symon.
Michael, come on! [ Cheers and applause ]
Yes!
♫♫
I love you, brother. How you doing, brother?
-Oh, my God! -That´s what I´m talking about.
Michael Symon, right there. -You´ve done it!
-I love you, buddy. -How are you doing, buddy?
-Everything great? -Everything´s fantastic.
-Yes. -Thank you for doing this.
-Oh, wait. A little Cleveland beer for you.
-Oh, my God. Oh, oh, okay.
-I know we´re gonna need more wine,
but we´re also gonna need more beer.
-Okay. -A Cleveland beer. Here we go.
All right. -Cheers.
-Cheers. -Cheers to you.
And doesn´t this smell fantastic?
-To Cleveland, Ohio. -Oh my God, it smells so good.
I wanted to make sure you and Dwyane got some proper barbecue.
So...
-You called it last year on your show.
-[ Laughing ] I did. I did. -You did call it?
-And you were like, "You guys are gonna end up in Cleveland."
I´m like, "Michael, come on." -Yes!
[ Laughter ] -And it happened.
-And it happened. -And I can´t wait --
Let´s -- Let´s start eating.
-And you -- And you know how I feel about Polish sausages.
-I know. We´ve got a little bit -- yeah, kielbasa.
We got ribs -- pork ribs. -Oh!
-We got beef ribs. It´s all good.
-Everyone is so jealous right now.
Cheers. -Cheers.
-I love you. Have a great run.
-Oh, my God.
-Jimmy´s on a low-carb diet, so...
-Yeah, exactly. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Oh, it´s so good. -Gabrielle Union!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Go get her book, "We´re Going to Need More Wine,"
available October 17th.
We´ll be right back with music from Wu-Tang Clan!
Chef Michael Symon!
[ Cheers and applause ]