- ( growling ) - Look right here and stop me.
( shouts, screams )
Oh.
( bleep )
Kevin:
the real karate kid.
Check out what me and Rebel Wilson did
that didn't make the cut.
We call these deleted scenes.
- Watch it now. - Hey, hey!
Break that mother ( bleep ) face.
All right, Jeff.
Oh, ( bleep ).
- Let him try. - Good luck.
- Yeah. Kevin, try. - What? Who you talking to?
Oh, I can't believe
I came out here and ran into you,
after you killed my brother!
And my mother!
And my daddy!
- Whoo! - Very good.
Wait, I just need to get in the mood.
Okay.
All right.
I can do an impersonation of you.
- Really? - Yeah.
Some people might think, "Oh, is that Kevin Hart?",
- actually, when they see me do the impersonation. - Okay, all right.
I would love to see it. Let me see it.
I'll be like, "Hey! Ah! Yeah!
"Uh, I'ma-- I'm Kevin Hart,
and I'm here on this private jet."
Yeah.
"And I hate Dwayne Johnson."
Yeah, yeah. That's good.
"'Cause he's a bit taller than me.
I hate him. Aah!"
What is that? What just happened?
- What just happened at the end? - That was that--
- my impersonation of you. - I know, but at the end,
- you, "Aah!" - "Aah!"
You see, you just did that.
Let's break with the nunchuck now.
Whoo!
- Go like that. - Yeah, I got it.
You gotta do it, like, accurate.
Yeah.
That's a different--
because the way I've use them,
- like the butt of a gun. - It's not a baton.
No, it's like the butt of a gun.
- Like, ( bleep )-- - It's a ninja--
Bop your ass in the head, boy.
What about double nunchucks?
Yeah, well, I'm gonna back here.
Oh, ( bleep ).
- No. Rebel, no. - ( screaming )
- Oh, God. - All right.
Kiai! Kiai! Kiai!
Oh, my God.
- Kiai! Kiai! - Okay, okay.
Kiai, kiai, kiai!
-
- Uh... - Every time you enter the mat, leave the mat,
- you have to bow. - Yes, sir.
Every time I enter the mat, leave the mat, bow.
- Get off the mat. Get off. - Oh, do I have to get off?
- You can bow. - You have to be on the mat, and then bow,
- Then you gonna leave. - and then you can get off.
You've been very disrespectful, because you left the mat
- but you didn't bow. - He just said,
every time you enter the mat--
- And leave the mat! - So, right now we leaving,
you get off, and then you bow.
But that technically means you've left.
- No, I didn't leave. - Yeah!
I'm bowing 'cause I'm off!
You've already left the mat and you didn't bow!
- Can I ask a question? - Yes, yes.
Aren't we supposed to be off the mat?
When you enter the mat, off the mat.
- Yeah. - When you leave the mat,
- stay on the mat. - On the mat!
Then you bow.
Rebel one, Kevin none.
- Very good. -
So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna try and hit you
- with this pad. - Uh-huh.
- Don't let me hit you. - Can I hit him with the pad?
- You gonna stop me. - I gotta stop you, so I gotta get there.
- Okay. - Let me see.
- Look at me. Ready? - Give me a second.
Just let me get my breath.
( farts )
Ooh, excuse me.
- Excuse me. Goddamn. - ( groans )
I'm sorry. That's me. that's me.
Let's let that air out, Sensei.
Goddamn. I'm sorry. That's bad.
- That's nasty. - Yeah, that's bad. That's a situation.
- That's disrespecting the dojo. - Let me fan that out.
- Let me fan that out. - Yeah.
Get that out of here. Sorry, Sensei.
If you had to compare Los Angeles to Australia,
- how would you compare the two? - It's pretty similar, actually.
- Really? - Yeah.
Only thing that's different
is the fact that Australia--
oh, they have those animals that kill you.
Yeah, outside of the murdering animals--
Just, like, a couple of snakes, spiders...
It's not a couple, it's not a couple.
My family and I lived, like, quite in a bush area.
I went to put the trash and I go,
"Why is an electrical cord hanging out of the trash?"
- Oh, God. - I pick it up--
- ( screams ) - And it was--
- Oh, ( bleep )! - It was a giant--
- It's the tail! - It was the tail of a giant bush rat.
- Oh, my-- - And it was that big. It was that big.
And then I screamed,
and, um, I had to wait till my family came back.
And then my little brother and sisters
got the brooms and got it out.
- I passed out for a second. - Yeah, I know. Bush rats.
Hey, what's going on?
This is Kevin Hart, your comedy sensei.
To see more of what you saw today,
all you gotta do is click here
and subscribe to my YouTube channel,
and "Laugh Out Loud." Do it!
Because I can break boards with words.