RV - Things you HAVE to learn the HARD way [0:00:00]
Now, gents, when I was 17 I learned I have the amazing ability to be able to mess up
a good thing. So, it started when my Aunt Lola loaned me
your truck and there I am driving 65 miles an hour down a country road. And, for some
reason I thought it would be smart to reach across and to grab some tissues that had I
don't know knocked over. Guess what? I look up and I'm going off the
road. I over correct, end up rolling that truck multiple times, totaled it.
Now, fortunately I was okay, but I caused a lot of issues and I’d taken something
that was awesome and I screwed it up because I wasn't thinking.
And that was just the start because my Aunt Lola, man, she took care of me. She set me
up with a girl that was teaching me how to country western dance for my prom. And guess
what? That relationship ended quick. That being said, I wasn't worried. I had a
girl in my theater class that was so into me. She was a freshman, I was a senior. You
know, I had the whole clout thing and all my friends, everyone all her friends told
me that she was into me and I knew it. In fact, her best friend had pulled me aside
and said, “You know what? If you ask Lindsay out to prom, she's going to say yes.”
So, I mean, this was an ace in the hole, right? No, because what I did next was idiotic. I
asked out this other girl that I didn't even really know. I was just seeing her a few times
the hall was infatuated with her and she turned me down.
And when Lindsay found out, yeah, all of a sudden she got really pissed off. I thought
I'd give it a couple weeks. Some other guy asked her out, so there I am going to prom
by myself. I walk in and I see her with that other guy. It upsets me. I just turn around
and leave. I'd rented the tux, went through all the trouble
to set things up. My aunt loaned me the money. And here's the thing is I really just screwed
things up because of poor decision making. Now, looking back at the time when all those
incidents happened, I mean, I -- it sucked, I was very upset. But now, I'm thankful for
them. Why? Because they shaped me and they taught me you are not perfect, you are not
really good at making a lot of the decisions a lot of the things that you decide to do
are wrong. So, knowing that when it came to just setting
up and running my business, I'm not afraid to pivot. I've learned that, you know what?
It's great to have systems and people around you. They can kind of keep you on the right
path. The next painful lesson I had to learn the
hard way is that she is not going to wait around forever. There was a girl that I was
infatuated with, I never expressed to her how I thought my feelings for her. I tried
to ask her out once, it didn't work out. Thing is looking back on that, it was, you
know, it's still to this day, I really kind of wish I would have said something, but here's
the thing. From that, I learned I got to be more assertive especially when you see something
you want, you've got to go after it. What's that saying? Good things come to those
who wait, but better things come to those who work for it. I'd have to say that's how
my mindset changed and I became more assertive in simply seeing something and going after
it. When I met this girl in Ukraine, she had a
boyfriend, but she was just everything I was looking for. And it didn't matter that she
was on the other side of the world that she was in a relationship. I expressed, I wrote
her a letter. I told my now wife that she was the one that
I'm going to go after and this is after just knowing her a couple days. And, you know,
it worked out, so it's a great story now. I realized when you want something, don't
be afraid to go after and get it because otherwise it won't be there if you just wait.
The next lesson I'm glad I learned the hard way, money can't buy happiness, but poverty
can't buy anything. So, there are two types of problems in life.
Here is your money problems and then there are your personal problems, relationship problems.
Those, everybody has, but life is sure a lot easier when you've got the money issues taken
care of. Growing up, it was something we never had
any money for anything. For breakfast, we had what was called, poor man's breakfast.
We couldn't even afford cereal. Basically, we would take old bread and you would break
it up put some sugar on it and that was the meal.
But, it was something that I saw how difficult life can be, how much you have to work, you
know, and I did not want to be in that situation. So, immediately I started reading books on
finance when I got into college, all of a sudden I started learning all the ins and
outs and I realized that understanding money is really, you know, this is something no
one's born with. Now, some people live a lifestyle or they
live in a family in which it's talked about, it wasn't talked about in mine. So, you have
to go out there and you have to educate yourself. Financial education is something that is worth
the time and investment because you start laying the foundation.
Now, a lot of people and I was told always to save your money, but what I wasn't told
is actually how to earn more money and all the different ways that you could, hey, there
are ways if you're going to spend 40, 50 hours a week working, do you want to be actually
working in a factory, do you want to be chasing a career, do you want to go get an education
that's going to be able to, you know, transfer that into higher pay.
Maybe you want to start a company. I know for me one of the reasons I love starting
businesses is because I know of the freedom that it can give you in terms of once you
set up a business properly, it should be like a really nice watch.
It should be something that you check the time a few times, you know, a month maybe
adjust it a little bit, but overall it should run and it should throw off it should be able
to do what it's intended to do, which a business is to make money.
[0:04:56] And speaking of entrepreneurship, the next
lesson I'm happy I learned the hard way is that your boss isn't your friend, your employer.
And this is tough for a lot of people because they get really close with people at work.
And some of you guys may disagree with me, let me know in the comments. But, I was fired
from a job that I gave up everything. I didn’t give up everything. But, I did move up to
a different state, I bought a house, I was committed to this company.
I was working 70, 80 hours a week. Some of you guys have had this happen to you and for
four to five months I thought everything was right on. And I actually called a meeting.
I was the CFO of the company and guess what? In that meeting, I got fired. It was blindsided.
I didn't see this coming. I was moving my family to this country. I was relying on that
paycheck. And I'm happy I learned at that point that, hey, the only person I can rely
on when it comes to earning a living and setting things up for when it -- I got to be self-sufficient,
it's me. I know a lot of you guys work for companies,
but you always want to have a backup plan. You want to be polishing that resume. You
want to be making sure that you've got options out there.
One of the things as a business owner, I keep hitting on this, but I love that I've got
multiple streams of income. So, if one fails, I've got the, you know, 10 other backups that,
you know, I'm bringing money from. And I’m always looking for something new
because it seems like some things are going off. I want to be able to kind of have control
on my destiny. And I'm happy that I learned that I didn't fall into the trap of believing
and having everything dependent on one source of income.
The next lesson I learned the hard way is when people show you who they are, believe
them. So many times we want to think that this is really it's a good person, they were
caught in this situation. But, there are certain people, it is their
nature in the same way it's a scorpion's nature to sting that they're just going to, yeah,
you can't trust them. There are people that you're going to have to cut out of your life.
I had a friend or I thought he was a friend. He said he could ride a motorcycle, so he
jumps on my bike and he takes it about 10 feet. Drops it and I mean, just scratched
it all up. Really -- I mean, it was hundreds, if not a thousand dollars worth of damage
right here. He told me he would get me the money. Never.
I mean, it still has not gotten me, that’s been like 25 years and he hasn't gotten me
that money. And I don't expect because I realize there are people in your life -- do you know
the story of the scorpion and the frog? So, the frog wants to get across a river and
it sees a scorpion there and it's wanting to do the same thing. Scorpion says, “Hey,
let me jump on your back, so I can ride across.” Frog is like, “No, you're a scorpion. You're
going to sting me.” The scorpion is like, “Why would I do that,
because if I sting you, we are both going to die in the middle of the river?” Frog
is like, “Oh, that makes sense.” So, to be a good guy, scorpion jumps on his back.
He's swimming halfway across, guess what happens? The scorpion stings the frog and the frog
is there paralyzed dying and saying they're both going to die and he's like, “Why did
you do that?” And the scorpion is, “I'm sorry. It was in my nature.”
When you realize that there are people that almost can't help themselves, they will continuously
trip themselves up, you know, at least to be on guard about. If you decide to keep them
in your life and it's tough when it's family when it's really close friends, you want to
keep them, but you understand, hey, I got to set up a system because I know that this
person is going to drop the ball. This person is going to, you know, do something that could
hurt me. I need to be prepared for. The next lesson I'm happy I learned the hard
way, when it comes to key purchases, things that are really important, you depend on,
buy the best quality buy dependable. For me, it was cars. I used to buy the cheapest
cars throughout college and they would not last, but like a couple month if that break
down multiple times. I'm spending all this time and I learned a lot about vehicles having
to do all these repairs. But, I remember buying a Camaro on California.
My brother actually really liked it and I bought -- went along with it. Spent like 1,500
bucks. Started driving that thing back out to Iowa. What should have been a two to three
day trip, ended up taking almost two weeks. Why? Because I was stopping, I was almost
late for school. When it comes to certain purchases, you want to spend more because
it's key to living a good life. The next lesson I'm happy I learned the hard
way and this one was very painful is that you can't out earn reckless spending, going
through a bankruptcy, going back and having to look at all of my credit card spending.
For some reason I thought that, yeah, I was -- I have the MBA, I'm starting my first company.
I'm going to spend all this money on certain bits of machinery, on all of this inventory.
I was making a hundred thousand dollars a month, but my expenses were a hundred and
five thousand dollars. And guess what? When you start keep doing
that and it gets worse, all of a sudden your earnings are only fifty thousand in the month
and your expenses are still a hundred thousand. All of a sudden, you start going into debt
you realize you can't -- unless you're venture back and even then, you eventually start -- you
have to at some point start earning a profit. But, I learned very quickly that it was my
reckless spending. Nowadays, I look at every bank statement.
I'm going through and questioning not only the big expenses, which are incredibly important,
but I look at those why did we spend five dollars here? What was this twenty five dollar
purchase here? You've heard the saying that small leaks can
sink a great ship. Guys, this was me. I had all of these leaks and it, you know, it just
came back and it bit me and I went into a bankruptcy. And that painful lesson of having
to go in front of a judge and explain and talk about this and then dealing with creditors
that are still chasing you, literally physically chasing you trying to say, hey, can you pay
this, can you pay that? You've got to say no, contact me via mail.
[0:10:11] It's kind of, you know, I didn't like it at
all and it was something that still today sticks with me. So, I'm not afraid to question,
why am I being charged this? Can I get a discount? Is this show the best price that you can give
me? Because every penny matters. Now, with this next lesson, I'm very happy
that I've never hit anybody, I've never injured anyone else, but I have anger issues. And
it's something that I have exploded on my wife and that basically I've grabbed things
and thrown them out windows. I've broken things in front of her.
And I've realized that, you know, this is a lesson that I'm still to this day, managing
my own anger. And I've realized I need to go to the gym, I need to exercise. If I don't
do this daily, then I'm at risk especially as it starts to build up. I need a physical
release. And a lot of you guys get this and you've
probably had things happen in your life and hopefully you haven't hurt or injured anyone.
But, I've realized, you know, I -- this is why I think a lot of guys end up maybe striking
somebody and not -- not meaning to. And with five young kids, I grew up in a household
in which we respect, we -- there's a paddle and they used it, they used the belt on us.
I'm happy to say that we've never done that with our kids.
But, it is something that you realize you -- as a man, we get very frustrated. And this
pent up -- and I think women maybe as well -- this pent-up frustration can lead to we
almost feel like we need a physical outlet and I found that going out and doing that
exercise daily and learning to set up boundaries as well.
I've got my office here and I'm happy for it because I'm able to step out of when things
are chaotic at home. But, you've got to have a place where you can retreat. You've got
to have your boundaries and set those and set it up not just for yourself, but so that
you, you know, you don't say something you're going to regret with others.
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and feeling better about your skin. Now, this next lesson this next story, I've
actually never shared with anybody. And as I was putting together the notes for this
video, I – I remembered it and I thought, wow, this is my example or my story of accepting
who I am and actually realizing that I'm a -- I'm a beautiful person.
So, up to probably eighth grade, I had never like I had these big heavy glasses and I felt
like I looked like a complete dork. I did. I mean, I was a skinny teenage brown kid,
you know, in West Texas, you know, and I just felt out of place. I didn't feel there was
anyone like me. And I remember my freshman year going to St.
Anthony’s High School Seminary in San Antonio, Texas for one year. And I went to this pool
and I didn't have my glasses on and I'm just there by myself and I had this girl come up
to me. And we started talking because I felt like I'm like, ah, you're not going to like
me when I put my glasses on. So, I put my glasses on, she's like she took
them back off she said, “You know what? I do think that you are more handsome without
your glasses.” That being said -- and she said it maybe not this elegantly, but she
just said that, you know, you're a very handsome guy and that she really did like me.
And, you know, she was just a sweet girl. I never get talked to her again, but she just
said such nice things to me that all of a sudden I came away from that realizing if
nobody else in the world thought that I was handsome, she did or at least she said she
did. She had no purpose to -- no reason to just talking to some, you know, two kids talking
at a pool. But, it stuck with me. And, I do want to stress, guys, you know,
a lot of you out there maybe you've never had a girlfriend, maybe you -- you've never
been with anyone, you've just been having a tough time maybe in life, maybe you've gone
through a divorce. You have this beautiful life, so live it. And who gives a -- what
other people think about you. Another lesson that took me a long time to
really absorb is that who cares what society thinks about you, because when it comes down
to it, society doesn't care. You are this diamond. And I get the clothing, your mannerisms,
everything we talk about here is about helping that diamond shine, so that people can see
it, so that you can go out there and that you can maybe find that partner you're looking
for, you can be able to get that job that you want.
[0:15:08] But I think at the end of the day that you
can look at yourself in the mirror and you can say, “You know what? I am, you know,
that man I know myself to be.” And you do that by practicing every day being a better
person, being the person that you want to -- that you want to be, knowing your core
values. For me, honor, courage, commitment. And, guys, if you want one of these challenge
coins, guys, I love sending them out to you. Let me hear from you down in the comments
below, the things that you are happy that you learned the hard way, that there was no
other way. And really quick, gents, in case I haven't
said it, Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. I don't know what point you're
going to be watching this video, but it's holiday season here and I just wanted to let
you know here in Wittenberg, Wisconsin, you've got Antonio here wishing you all the best.
So, what video to watch next? Well, gents, I've got a surprise for you. Click on this
video right here and, yes, you will be whisked off to a magical video that I'm not going
to reveal which one it is. It’s good. Check it out. I think you’ll enjoy it. Oh,
yeah. [0:16:04] End of audio