Have you heard the news? Research has actually proven that first-born children are likely
to be more intelligent and successful than their younger siblings! Now that doesn’t
really seem fair. I didn’t choose the birth order in my family. And I don’t remember
drawing the short straw that sent the stork off to deliver my big brother first, only
to return for me two years later. Studies have shown that our eldest counterparts
are usually smarter and make mom and dad proud with every little talent. But if all this
is true, then does it mean the counter argument must also be true: The second-born is less
successful? Well I don’t know if researchers are just being nice or if they’re trying
to avoid a ‘second-born vs first-born’ war, but at least they’re not referring
to the second child as a complete wash out. Nope. We’re now being labelled as the probable
rebel of the family. According to licensed social worker Meri Wallace
in Psychology Today, “birth order has a powerful impact upon children’s emotions,
behavior, and personality development.” It’s not exactly fair that your personality
can be decided for you based on when you come into this world compared to your siblings,
but it looks like that may be the case. There are pros and cons for each child with their
ranking in the family based on the order of their birth.
Let’s have a look at that perfect first-born. Big bro enjoyed mom and dad’s undivided
attention. Everything he did was super cute and documented in pictures and home videos.
But don’t hate on him just yet. As the eldest, he had to learn the hard way that mom and
dad can love another child just as much as him. He suddenly had to share the attention
that had been only his right up until the day you were born. This is not really an easy
adjustment for a kid. He was probably super excited for your arrival and already loved
and wanted to protect you. But that doesn’t mean you’ll avoid that jealous monster that
rears its ugly head when mom says she has to put the new baby down to sleep before she
can read him his favorite bedtime story. Younger siblings tend to look up to their
older brothers and sisters as role models. They are older, which means they’re usually
taller and can do things more easily than the baby of the family. This may actually
be where the troublemaker personality trait kicks in. As mentioned by Katina Benairis
in ELLE, we have to keep in mind that the first-born child looks up to his or her parents
as role models, while the second-born most likely has an unruly toddler that he or she
strives to be like. I’m not saying that the first-born is completely
responsible for their younger sibling becoming a little more daring. Dr. Larissa Hirsch mentions
that a “second child brings increased confidence in your own abilities, knowledge and experience”
as a parent. Raising a second child is slightly less stressful since you have already been
through it once. Parents know now that not every moan or whimper is cause for alarm.
This also means that the rules set in place for child number one become a bit less restricting.
You’ll naturally let the little one get away with a bit more then you did with the
first at each interval. So as a teenager or young adult, it’s not uncommon for a second-born
to see rules more as guidelines, and feel that it’s ok to test the waters and push
the limits every once in a while. A few quick examples: if the younger sibling
wants to stay up a little later to watch a movie with big brother or sister, their parents
may allow it this time around while there was a more strict bedtime or TV limit when
the eldest was that age. And that’s also true later on for curfews, which become slightly
hazier when parents realize it’s not really all that bad. The first one survived, right?
Parents also have a little babysitter in the house with an older sibling. I don’t mean
they can now leave their three-year-old in charge of a newborn for a day. But, let’s
say, while they have to do the dishes or start dinner, they can ask the eldest to play with
their baby brother or sister and keep them entertained with silly faces or telling stories.
Now mom or dad doesn’t have to try to entertain the baby 24/7. As long as they keep an eye
on the tiny babysitter, it gives them some more freedom. This is another reason why first-born
children are more likely to be the responsible sibling. At a young age they feel responsible
for taking care of their new little friend for life.
So naturally, the second child will end up looking up to the older one, but as the years
go by, your life starts looking quite appealing too. A second-born child is likely to avoid
responsibility in order to be free to experience new things. Just because your older brother
or sister seems to have it all together doesn’t mean they don’t look up to you for being
brave and daring like they wish they could be. I guess that’s just part of life; there
will always be someone whose life we look at with some longing; a life that seems to
be either more together or more adventurous than our own. And that’s why no matter what
life throw at us, we always have our family to keep us humble.
No one is perfect. And birth order may have an effect on how we turn out, but that doesn’t
mean everything is already decided for you. In the end, research is just research and
there will always be exceptions to the rule. So, siblings, love and accept each other!
You’ll have a lot more to talk about if you live really different lives!
And it’s not like second children are destined for disaster, we only like to see how far
we can go before it becomes too far. You may want to be careful with this. By pushing the
boundaries set in place by your parents, you may also be walking a thin line between good
and bad. It’s great if you’re not afraid to take risks and have amazing adventures
along the way. Just make sure to stay safe while doing it, and, obviously, make sure
you don’t hurt others by being a bit too reckless.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t mind letting the eldest have their book smarts
if that means I get to have the wild adventures. The pressure is off second ‘bests’! Sorry,
I mean “second-borns”… Carry your label proudly, yet responsibly, and you may not
even notice your older brother or sister looking up to you instead!
Are you a second-born child, and do you agree with the researchers’ findings? Sound off
in the comments below! Remember to give this video a “like,” share it with your friends
(and siblings!), and click “subscribe” to stay on the Bright Side of life!