• What job offered a 60 percent chance of death as part of the ad?
What job ad included “make it rain on them hoes” as one of the job benefits?
From obvious scams to people advertising the “worst job in town,” here are 15 job offers
you won’t believe are real.
15 – Noodle sitter • If you’re a woman who owns a one-piece
bathing suit, somebody has an interesting proposal for you on Craigslist.
• This person wants to pay you a dollar to his to their house and sit in a bathtub
full of cooked noodles for five minutes.
• It’s not even to be watched.
Nobody is even going to be home, they just have the neighbor watching the door.
• The only rule is that you don’t bring any sauce.
They want to season the pasta themselves.
14 – Exxon Promotion • This job was never actually listed, because
it was never even a job.
It was just some guy at a gas station propositioning a woman who worked there.
• He said he was an executive with Exxon, and that he was considering her for a promotion…
but that she would first need to accompany him to a cheap motel for a “medical exam.”
• Sensing something was wrong there, the woman called the police on the man, and it
turned out – surprise!
- that he was a convicted sex offender with kidnapping and rape in his history.
13 – Now Hiring Now • This sign doesn’t have any information
whatsoever about what the job is hiring for.
• But there is NO DOUBT AT ALL about WHEN the job is.
• It’s… well, it’s relatively soon.
12 – Plague Doctor • Back in the 1600s, the Black Plague was
ravaging London, and in 1665 the City put out an ad for a new plague doctor.
• And to say the least, they were honest about the position.
Plague doctors were required to avoid public gatherings and carry a white stick to indicate
their profession.
• Basically, they needed to quarantine themselves.
Oh, and the City is not responsible for the death of the applicant because – as the
job states – death rates are between 15 and 60 percent, and treatment has not yet
been discovered.
Good luck, doc. 11 – Worst Job in Town
• This job ad is trying to hook you by advertising the “worst job in town.”
• Among the benefits are poor location, a terrible office with no natural light, large
projects with small budgets, and below-market pay.
• And sure, at the end they talk about being “sick of the same overselling job ads,”
which indicates they might be joking… but they don’t actually SAY that.
10 – Strike Breakers • Hey, would you like to work 84 hours a
week in a high-stress, high-temperature metalworking environment?
• And would you like to do that for a company whose normal workers are on strike for better
pay and working conditions?
• Would you like to show up every day for work and have to be escorted past an angry
picket line?
Well, then this job is for you… wait, did you actually answer yes to all those questions?
9 – Copy and Paste • This job sounds fine, really.
“Administrative assistant” is a fairly normal job title and description.
• But looking at the post itself…
well, it’s obvious why they need one.
The person who posted the ad seems to have ALSO posted the instructions to “copy and
paste the above text.”
• So either the person who posted this badly needs an assistant… or they ARE the assistant,
and they badly need to be replaced.
8 – PR Done Wrong • This is your chance to work in PR for
a “fat bloke with a drink problem and a moral compass that only ever points south.”
• The ideal candidate is on anti-depressants, but is ALSO a heavy drinker.
Jail time a plus.
• According to the job listing, if you feel you’re a good fit, then don’t apply.
Just roll up on the building, barge past security and grab a desk.
• There’s a tiny little chance this job might not be real.
7 – What Not to Do • Are you looking for a job in publishing?
Are you okay with being on a probationary period?
• Great, here’s a list of things you can be terminated for, no questions asked.
• Being unavailable on nights or weekends.
• Gossiping.
• Complaining about anything.
• Failing to respond to emails fast enough.
• Offering suggestions when not asked.
• If you can avoid all these things, then congratulations!
You can remain in the running for this unpaid internship!
6 – No Crybags Alllowed • Quick note.
If you want the prestigious position of being a pizza chef, then you have to make sure you
can read a schedule, and you’re not a “crybag.”
• Also preferred are applicants who don’t talk.
Apparently you can get a degree in that?
• This seems sort of specific, though…
you think they had problems with a previous employee?
5 – Hiring Brogrammers • This ad for a back-end developer at a
Finnish company, would like to hire someone who is “gay for code.”
• If that’s you, they’d like you to know they can help you “make it rain on
them hoes,” during “the ride of your life.”
• After some backlash asking them what they hell they were actually doing, the company
hastily removed the ad and said it was all just a joke.
4 – Happy Day • This recruitment video was released in
2004, more than 10 years after Sister Act 2, which it seems like it’s trying to channel.
• It involves a bunch of uncoordinated nerdssinging about how happy they are to be accountants
for Ernst and Young.
It’s even more cringe than it sounds like.
• It seems like an internal recruitment video, which is weird, because why are you
selling people who already work for you on how great it is to work for you?
3 – Ernest’s Big Job Ad • Ernest Shackleton was looking for people
to join him on the Imperial Trans-Atlantic Expedition when he posted his ad.
• And hey, at least he was honest about it.
Hazardous journey, bad pay, constant danger, and doubtful safe return.
• But hey, just IN CASE they had some success, they’d get honor and recognition.
So there’s that.
2 – Time-Travelling Waitress • Carnation Restaurant would like to hire
an 18-year-old waitress with 20 years of experience.
• Okay, Carnation Restaurant.
Two things here.
First, nobody is capable of being a waitress two years before they’re born.
• And even assuming you MEANT that the waitress must be at LEAST 18 years old…
why bother?
If they have 20 years of experience, they HAVE to have over the age of 18.
• And for that matter, why do you need a waitress with 20 years of experience?
Don’t you pretty much learn everything you need to know in the first three months or
so?
1 – Self Importance • The person behind the posting of this
sales job clearly loves what they do.
• That’s why they’re looking to hire a “self-important twat” to join the likeminded
twats they already work with.
• The winning candidate will be arrogant and willing to sell customers things they
don’t need at severely inflated prices.
• Unlike some similarly sarcastic postings, this one appears to
be 100% genuine.