Hmmm... something is missing...
What could it be...
Oh yea, it was this small island near France.
Definiteeeely not this hundred and five THOUSAND square mile country where 5 million people
live.
Alright, now all jokes aside, New Zealand is missing on A LOT of maps, including games,
magazines, school books, and even some airports don't have maps that include New Zealand even
if they offer flights that go there.
This even goes as far as New Zealand missing from the map of The United Nations' office
from Geneva, despite it being a founding member.
Some New Zealanders might be upset because of this, but even on the country's official
website, when you go to a page that doesn't exist, it says "something is missing" and
it shows a map without New Zealand, soooo at least these boys got a nice sense of humor
about this whole situation.
Now, New Zealand if often missing because of the Mercator Projection, which puts Europe
in the center and New Zealand in the bottom right corner, so if a map designer is not
paying attention he can easily crop the Kiwis.
Fun fact time: New Zealand is actually closer to France than it is to Sydney because New
Caledonia is right here and it is a special collectivity of France.
New Zealand would've been closer to France than Australia but this island here exists,
so it ruined everything.
:( Buuut, what's the difference between Australia,
France, and New Zealand?
Sure, some would say that there are a lot of them, but absolutely definitely no doubt
about it, the most important difference is that only New Zealand has a government-appointed
wizard.
And you know that this isn't no cosplay because this dude is government-appointed, so he's
legit.
And yea, this might be strange, but considering that New Zealand has a river and a forest
which are legally considered citizens and they have rights and duties, this is some
pretty normal stuff.
With this being said, having an official wizard is not that remarkable, although he did some
weird things that we'll talk about later in the video.
First things first, who is this guy?
Well, the wizard, Ian Brackenbury Channell, was born in London in nineteen thirty-two,
seven years earlier than the movie "The Wizard of Oz" was released.
Coincidence?
I think not.
He was a choir boy and a boy scout, then he back-packed around Europe, then he decided
he wanted to be a Royal Air Force Officer in Canada.
After that, he graduated Leeds University in nineteen sixty-three, getting a double
honors degree in sociology and psychology, so he was a pretty ambitious and smart guy.
After this, he moved to Australia because he was recruited by the University Of Western
Australia.
Then he became a teacher at another university and then finally migrated to Christchurch
in nineteen seventy-four.
Now, this is where the interesting part comes.
By nineteen seventy-four, he was already trying to be a wizard and already did some weird
stuff.
For example, he was appointed by a university in Australia that he was a shaman and a living
work of art.
So, he was already developing his wizard skills but still, he was a shaman, which is definitely
a lower rank than an official wizard.
I feel like a wizard has a few shamans who are apprentices and they are like: "Hey, master
wizard, what are yo-" "Don't disturb me, I'm making a spell."
So back to the story, Ian was trying to get to the top but it was still a long way until
there.
His first moves made in New Zealand were when he began speaking on a latter in Cathedral
Square dressed as a full wizard.
And New Zealand didn't like this at first and even wanted to arrest him, but he became
so popular that he was a tourist attraction, so the square became a public speaking area.
His wizard skills were rising, he was doing rain dances, speaking in public, and threw
philosophic bombs.
He even kinda got birthed from a giant egg, but that wasn't very impressive, to be honest.
Like he just kicked the egg from inside until it broke and then got out and shouted.
Of course, this was done with the help of the Mayor of Christchurch, so this guy was
kind of becoming an official thing and in nineteen eighty-two, he became The Wizard
Of Christchurch and an official living work of art.
And, in nineteen ninety, ladies and gentlemen, he was appointed "The Official Wizard Of New
Zealand" by Mike Moore, the prime minister of New Zealand at that time.
And this is one hundred percent real, look at his driver's license.
Wizard.
The.
That's his official name now.
Even his passport says that he is an official wizard.
Now, what does an official wizard do?
Well, according to the official proclamation, he has to protect the country, to bless new
enterprises, protect the population, and most importantly, to design and promote a new universe
that puts New Zealand on top of the world both physically and metaphysically.
Remember, this proclamation was written by the prime minister, so maybe one night he
was like: "Oh man, New Zealand is cropped from maps too often, so maybe this wizard
guy will solve it and place New Zealand in the center of the world... *sigh* "
Did this wizard help New Zealand stopped being cropped from the world maps?
Probably not, I dunno.
But at least he was awarded the Queen's service medal, which is something important, I guess.
And he was one time in a helicopter hovering over a rugby match and helped the home team
win by performing some spells.
And that's kinda it.
Oh, also one time he mailed himself in a box to Australia because he is a living work of
art.
The conclusion is that The Wizard Of New Zealand is a bit weird, buuut also he is smart, wise
and kinda funny.
He was ambitious, became the first official wizard in the world, and did what he enjoyed
in life.
He didn't care about money, like he was living off small donations and later the government
paid him little money, but at least he was happy doing this.
And I'm speaking at the past tense here not because he's dead, but because he retired.