Hey everybody I am back with dr. Alexa Altman, who is a trauma specialist and if you haven't
watched our other videos you must check those
out because we are really building upon them
as we work through them and so in this
video we're going to talk about the link
from trauma to binge eating disorder and
where that comes from
I know in a previous video, you talked about
how as children we're almost wired through
breastfeeding, sucking and swallowing
and that is the way that we sooth and kind of
build a safe space, that's right?
Alexa: that's right.
yeah and if I previously we talked about
this really smart guy Stephen Porges
who discovered this social engagement
system or the attachment system that
wired but needs to be enhanced by that
safe connection.
- yeah, like something that
Alexa said was a great analogy was like
if we're gonna spark a new tool or we're gonna spark
safety or security in our life
we need someone to blow on it to get it
started so we can't actually just do it on her
own. We actually need the connection.
But I really like that analogy
because some things we just can't do it
alone and so having connection is
actually one of the best resources.
Alexa: sparks the fire.
Kati: yeah, and so with the way that
relates to binge eating disorder, if we're talking
about obviously as children then food
would be a way that we were soothed. - yep
how would that lead to, potentially, this is all theory,
right, we always talk about like, things that
we know and through out experiences how would that
lead to binge eating disorder?
Well what we think, again theoretically,
that we know that the muscles of the throat
and larynx and pharynx that swallow,
is one of those born reflexes that sooth us, that the idea is
that we transition from foods being the
primary source of soothing to the
connection with other and that
connection is safe is consistent mirrors
reflects who we are
in a safe way, that through the complexity of
the connection is actually more like a
upgraded soothing capacity
you know? That it updates based on our
development, in the beginning all we can do is eat
Kati: yeah, right
and smell and take in, but then eventually
language and all these other ways in
which we connect, continue to help with
our capacity to sooth. We call that instead
of self-regulation like I'm doing this all on my own,
we call that co-regulation.
So how it affects binge eating, or how we
think is that mechanism of swallowing
and eating and eating is that kind of
first line of soothing, that it's not really
going to do the trick because our system
requires safety with an other, to be deeper soothed.
Kati: So it's almost like we would over eat hoping to
feel that, yet we're not actually getting
what we want. Alexa: and we're never gonna get there.
And we kinda know it. So most people who binge eat,
kind of know it doesn't really work but
it's their best option. And that's why I feel
like if we think about it is an adaptive
strategy, it's just not gonna be enough,
and we know that.
Kati: yeah and i think this it's most people
who do binge eat, know, like many of you have reached out to
me and said I know I'm doing it I just
don't know how to stop it and it
feels out of control. Alexa: and then there's all that shame,
Kati: and that fact that like, I recognize that
not only in our society it's a stigma against mental illness as a whole,
eating disorders especially and people
who are overweight even more so,
if we struggle with that can be really
difficult and to even speak up about it
Alexa: that's right, because of all of that and
often times, again like you're saying,
and the shame, so then to seek out connection,
is a huge
leap out of shame and the connection
with another but it also gives our nervous
system a chance to update its mechanism
for soothing. Kati: so it's almost like to if you
find yourself in this, if this is something you're
struggling with and if you find that you
don't know understand why you overeat, but you
wish you could stopt but you do
recognize that in some level sooths you, is
attempting to sooth you,
that it's like our video we did before, where we
talk about skiing down the hill, and so maybe, that one time if you know, if you've eaten,
and you're going back into the kitchen
to get more maybe instead you should text a friend
or call, or pull out your resiliency box and watch a video of someone that you care
about and love and who loves you, and that could essentially, that
would actually fill the hunger that
you're trying to fill with food
- that's right. - How interesting.
and i love the way you said that with
the texts, that sometimes a call might be too
much and we're talking about small
steps in the right direction that's actually
a good example as a small, maybe safer
step
of just saying i need to get this
out there, somethings going on.
Because oftentimes I notice, in
my work with people who binge eat, is they
don't really know how they feel. So it's hard sometimes to
put words to it but you can just say 'I need
something' - or like 'hey how's it going'
- 'how's it going' - start a conversation,
you don't have to have a goal, specifically,
connection is just connection
Alexa: that's right,
just knowing, hey, I can knock on the door,
and oh wait, maybe there is someone there
Kati: yeah and if you struggle to have close
relationships in your life at this
time, the great thing about KatiMorton.com is
we have chat 24/7, for people around the world
so if you're in the UK you're worried that
your friend in Florida isn't going to be awake
when you're awake, there are people
around the world on there all the time, so you
can hop over there and get some
connection that way as well as in the
comments, and all of the online
communities. Alexa: oh my gosh, I love that, cause you can just
even see, trying to connect.
Kati: and that would be the thing, just trying to connect, and then someone
can ask you how your day was, and it can be
a really simple conversation and maybe give you
that connection you're really desiring
and that your system is actually really wanting
Alexa: and wired to do. We're wired for it. - Thank you so much!
I hope that that's helpful i know that there's a lot of
questions around that and i have more
videos I'll link in the description to playlist
about different eating disorders and
binging and kind of my thoughts, and experience
around that. If you liked this video,
give it a thumbs up
let us know your thoughts in the comments don't
forget to subscribe, like I said we did a
bunch of videos together and you don't want to
miss them because we're building on them as we go
and we will see you next time! Bye!