Half of my body is dangling to its death.
Yep, I'm dead. Yep, I'm definitely dying.
Hey, okay. I'm CalebCity and I almost died
trying to be American Ninja Warrior.
You know how they tell you at the beginning of those shows,
"Don't try this at home"?
Yeah, I ignored that. Me and my brother and my cousin,
we watched a lot of Ninja Warrior,
people that do parkour, ninja rolls, back flips.
We were into all that.
We wanted to jump off of some shit.
We decided... Not we, my brother.
My brother decided, "Yo, we should just practice it
until we're old enough to do it."
We would go to the school most of the time.
It was a pretty big school.
Preschool, elementary, middle school.
The middle school section had the taller buildings.
They had the two-story buildings,
the three-story buildings.
My brother's like, "Bro, let's go over there."
It's the tallest building in the school,
he wants to climb it and I'm like,
"You're crazy as hell, right?"
He's crazy, right? "Yeah, let's do it!"
"They're gonna go do it and I'm not gonna be left out.
What am I gonna do? Go home?
I'm no bitch. I'm doing it. Imma do it."
It turns out that the best way was the rain pipe.
We seen, on Ninja Warrior,
them crawl up this pipe with their feet on the wall
and they would shimmy their way up.
I don't know. It's this motion like ripping it
and climbing it like a rain pipe
for three stories, very dangerous.
At any point in time if just slipped off,
you're falling and lending and then splat,
you are now paste. Stupid, stupid kids.
We did that. We got to the top. We just started doing dumb shit.
We're jumping off of walls. We're having fun.
We're jumping around, jumping off the doors.
They're doing flips, I'm not, but I'm around to see it.
We're making our way over to the shorter buildings
and we see the police pull up.
The school had a silent alarm system.
If people were on the roof at a certain time,
it would call the police. That was enough to freak me out.
While their lights are flashing,
my life is flashing before my eyes.
I'm thinking if we're going to go to jail.
We didn't know that they were coming for us,
but we were right, they were there for us.
My brothers start freaking out,
start sprinting to the next roof,
not looking back at all. What? What are you doing?
He plans on jumping from roof to roof
to quickly get to the other side of the school,
so then we could then jump the fence
and then walk back to our house.
My cousin right, behind them. They leave me.
I'm still behind like, "Yo, what's going on?
Wait, where are you going?" We just hide.
They're jumping down onto the smaller buildings
and then climbing back up onto the other buildings.
They were actually jumping from roof to roof.
I'm convinced they think they're in a action movie.
I'm not as agile as them.
I was small, four foot nothing with a bigger head.
I'm taking my time.
All right, I got to get off of the building legs
first to see what I'm working with here,
make sure that I got the right footing, slide down, got it.
The building before we get to the outside of the school,
for me, tall as hell.
There's a gap in-between the one that we're on
and the one that leads to escape, a large gap.
And there was debris down there, skulls, bones, lasers.
It was a long drop, okay?
I fall to my death and land on spikes.
I see my brother sprint,
jump over it like it's the Matrix.
His feet are like, and make it.
My cousin does the exact same thing,
jumps over this gigantic gap, clears that shit.
They're on the other side, still running, mind you.
They're not looking behind them.
They're not even making sure that I'm okay.
"Am I? No, I'm not okay. Come back."
I'm not going to be left behind, the cops aren't going to get me.
I'm about to do it too. I'm running, I'm sprinting
and the closer I'm getting to the edge of the roof
that I'm on, the further away the next roof is getting.
"They made this? What? They made this jump?"
And so, I stopped.
I got to let them know I can't make this.
We got to find a different way.
And my brother's mad like, "Yo, like really?
Come on, let's go." He's rushing me,
so now I feel like I'm a burden and I'm like, "Oh shit."
I can't go back because the police are that way.
I'll go to jail and die.
"You know what? No. If they did it, I can do it."
I'm sprinting as fast as I can and then jumped the gap.
My foot slips off of the edge, my foot goes directly down.
All the momentum just went straight down off that edge.
The rest of my body is just in the air doing the dolphin.
I don't know if you guys seen that?
I'm doing this in the air. I'm in mid-jump, "I'm dead.
I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die."
Instead of my feet touching the top of the roof,
my body slams into the side of the roof.
My whole lower half didn't make it.
Half of my body is dangling to its death.
I can't even scream for my cousin
and my brother to come help me because I'm so scared,
I'm just hyperventilating, complete fear in my eyes.
I'm trying to hold on and I'm scraping up my hand.
There's nothing but death under me.
The next logical step is that I'm about to die.
I'm freaking out. I'm about to fall and die.
"Yep, I'm dead. Yep, I'm definitely dying."
My vision is going from seeing them run to me to the sky.
And as I'm falling, my brother finally grabs my wrist
and starts pulling me back up out,
"No, like no, get the other one."
And my cousin grabs that arm, they pulled me up.
Forever in their debt, good looking.
Thanks guys for leaving me.
They took no responsibility whatsoever,
didn't apologize, nothing.
We ended up getting away after that,
making it off that roof safely
and just walking by the police like, "How you doing, officer?"
They really didn't care about it, hey.
And come to think of it, even if they did catch us,
how old was I? 10?
They weren't going to do anything.
They're like, "Stay off the roof."
Literally, I could've died. I literally could have died.
If I fell off of that three-story building
into whatever sharp objects was waiting there for me,
I was dead. I died in the fifth grade.
I accept that fact, let's go home.
All right, I'm done. I'm never parkouring again.
Hey, CalebCity, thanks for the views.
I'm here at Comedy Central taking over for a week
and if you want to see more of me doing videos
at Comedy Central,
look at some of these videos here,
in this general area and here, in this general area.