Note the disclaimer.
(Electric buzz, generic chicken scream, Wilhelm scream) [Subber: Video contains alot of cartoon gore, as well as some very unpleasant strong themes. Discretion advised for this video. Thank you for reading.]
It's time to look at the darker side of Family Guy.
I stand by the opinion that "Family Guy" has had some *brilliant* episodes.
Some of them are real classics that have redefined our standards of comedy animation.
But, there's some "Family Guy" episodes that have been...
(Glass shatters) *Baaaad!*
Lois: No matter what you do for the rest of your life, you'll always be *garbage*!
Strider: And I mean *just AWFUL*!
These are the episodes that get me at my very core of anger...
for just how low brow and *cruel* they can be.
Anti-intellectual speeches...
Horribly violent scenes...
Peter: Hey, Joe, open your eye.
(Blood squirts and Joe screams in pain.)
Infanticide...
Lois: I put Stewie in the oven a bunch of times...
Strider: School shooting "jokes."
Domestic violence...
Maybe I'm alone on this, but I find it really hard to laugh at some of these concepts!
Some of these scenes look like they belong in a horror show more than an animated comedy show!
With that being said, if you like these "Family Guy" episodes, good for you!
It's just my personal opinion, and purely comes down to personal taste.
Just a quick warning that this list contains more violence and offensive scenes than usual.
So if that sort of thing bothers you, [then] you may wanna skip this [video].
So, without further adieu...
Let's take a look at what are, in my opinion, the "Top 10 Worst Family Guy Episodes of All Time."
Santa: (In song) Killing us!
Strider: Number 10...
Santa and Elves: (In song) Christmas Time is killing us!
Strider: "Love [Blactually]"
Here's an idea!
Let's watch a straight 20 minutes of an ugly break-up!
Doesn't that sound like *fun*!?
This episode *has* to be on the list!
Because it is the episode that began the tidal wave of bad "Family Guy" humor!
The episode starts first.. 3 minutes(?) about telling us a politician's wife killed someone.
Lois: Laura Bush killed a guy.
Peter: Laura Bush...
Strider: Jeering at Joe's handicap...
Calling a woman a c-[word]... Even I won't say that.
Brian: Yep, with a capital C.
And wraps this first three minutes up with the sounds of Domestic Violence mixed with Dr. Suess.
I have never seen a show so effectively crap on so many otherwise decent concepts in the space of 3 minutes.
The rest of this episode is basically about Brian feeling bad for not jumping his new girlfriend on the first date.
Because Cleveland is laughingly sleeping with his girlfriend.
Cleveland: (Laughing with girlfriend) We good Brian, we good.
Strider: It teaches young, impressionable minds it's bad not to immediately jump into sex in a relationship.
And if you dont, "You're gay, and your girlfriend will leave you." Isn't that great "logic?"
It's just a very *sore*, unpleasant episode.
And if you're still with me, let's press on.
Santa: (Singing) Chri~stmas Time
(is killing us!) Strider: (Foreground) And number nine...
Santa: KILLING US!
Strider: "Brian Griffin's House of Payne"
Strider: The episode starts off pretty promisingly with Stewie fighting in a [space] jet with Rupert--
in some *very* imaginative scenes.
Sadly though, it immediately plunges into Brian being a pretentious jerk about his artwork.
We then proceed to Stewie falling down the stairs and cracking his head open, literally.
Peter: When you were babies I used to knock you kids out every month or so.
Sometimes by accident, sometimes when the Patriots lost.
You just gotta cover it up and eventually it all works out.
Strider: How? HOW!?
How am I supposed to feel a shred of support or interest in Peter?
Marty: He's an asshole!
Strider: There's a nice side-plot with Brian turning his script into a shell-out sitcom.
James Woods: With my chimp sidekick?
(Audience laughs)
But it doesn't save...
Giving brain damage to an infant and then spending the episode covering it up.
I just feel really dirty watching this episode.
Why would a comedy want to remind me of parents that hurt their children?
It makes the entire family out to be just...
*HORRIBLE* human beings!
This one is a definite choice for the list.
Santa: (Singing) Chri~stmas Time
(i~is) Strider: Number 8...
Santa: killing us! KILLING US!
Strider: "Screams of Silence"
Peter: (Coming to foreground voice) Holy CRAP!
Joe: Oh my God!
He must have auto-erotically asphyxiated himself!
Strider: This on is notorious for its discussion of domestic violence.
And I was told it was a bad one, but...
I have to admit, I had mixed feelings about it.
Basically, the episode is about Quagmire's sister, and her domestically abusive [to-be] husband.
At the beginning, it handles the episode with dignity, and it's not just an off-colour joke.
Glenn: (Crying) I want the girl I grew up with back...
I want...
I-
I want my sister back.
Brenda...
I love you.
Please make the right decision.
Strider: I actually really like some of the jokes in this one.
Rock. Lobster.
To me, that's genuinely funny.
Peter: (Singing) Death to America.
Strider: Apologies for this joke to people from Iran.
But the episode gets *really* ugly in the second half.
Where our three heroes decide they should just kill off the [to-be] husband in the woods!
We then get some really...
Unpleasant and grotesque scenes in the woods including a strangling scene--
And the entire thing getting covered up.
I do think this is one of the worst, but I do think people should watch this one.
I choke myself every day you bastard!
Santa: (Singing) Chri~stmas Time
(i~is) Strider: Number 7...
Santa: killing us. KILLING US!
Strider: "Vestigial Peter"
Tiny Peter: Hi everybody!
Lois: (Startled) What the hell is that!?
Peter: Oh my god! It's a little me!
Normally, I give "Family Guy" a hard time for being crass, cruel, uncomfortable, painful to watch--
Or just plain mean-spirited.
But this episode is just *stupid*!
Peter gets a talking growth on his next that talks just like him.
Except in a voice so annoyingly high pitched it makes Jar-Jar Binks look sophisticated.
Tiny head: (Barely intelligible singing) Michael rode the boat ashore...
Tiny head: Hall-eh-uuuuuuuu-yah!
Strider: The episode is just so impressively stupid!
It's irritating, it's boring...
It just keeps going on, and *ON*!
Tiny head: Wow! (Said 5 times after a thunk.)
Tiny head: WOOOW!
Peter: (Sigh) This is more painful than sitting through one of those parent-teacher cheater meetings.
Strider: I challenge you to get through this entire episode.
If you can stand to get through this episode more than once, you've better tollerance than me.
Santa: Chri~stmas Time
(i~is) Strider: And for number 6...
Santa: killing us... KILLING US!
Strider: "[Seahorse] Seashell Party"
There's something to be said for keeping things simple but this episode just didn't even *try*!
Peter: I'm bored.
Strider: It just feels like the writers got lazy.
The entire 21 minutes is based within the Griffin house, watching the family *bored* during a storm.
What could possibly be more boring for viewers than watching the "Family Guy" crew do nothing?
There is a side-plot of Brian having a psychotropic drug trip...
But we get what basically seems like the animators just drawing whatever they feel like.
Peter: I got an idea! How about you all sit there quietly while I make dad noises.
Strider: This goes on for a solid 60 seconds.
The only part I kind of enjoyed was the way Stewie is such a solid friend to Brian--
as he comforts him through his psychotropic drug trip all the way through.
Brian: (Tripping) I think I'm dying!
Jane Fonda.
Is that...
I-is-is that right?
Stewie: Yeah, that's right buddy, totally Jane Fonda.
It's gonna be okay.
Strider: I just find there's something kind of beautiful about that.
Strider: Oh for Pete's sake!
Do something!
PLEASE!!!
It's like they're just trying to kill time!
I just don't understand why a multi-million dollar animated comedy series would do this!
I'm not insulted or anything, I mean there's no overbearing spitefulness or annoying commentary
But... Could they just do something?
The only way to top this episode off is by dedicating the second half from time wasting to an unpleasant bickering--
between Meg and the family!
While Meg has every right to be angry at her family, it's not exactly a pleasant way to watch the episode.
You can watch this one, but I can assure you, you won't be missing anything if you don't.
Santa: Chri~stmas Time
(i~is killing us!) Strider: And for number 5
Santa: KILLING US!
Strider: "April in Quahog"
Have you ever wondered how someone was going to act if they knew the world was going to end?
Would they become rude, obnoxious, and completely nihilistic to their family and friends?
Well, Peter already does.
But apparently he becomes even more heartless and cruel to his family now!
Basically, news broadcasts make an April Fools about the world going to end.
So Peter gives his family the middle finger and does whatever her wants.
Even more than usual.
I often feel Seth is trying to make a comentary on something...
But for the life of me I can't figure out what.
Peter: Y'know, this thing is bugging me.
Strider: People are horrible? (Peter in background: Alright--)
Strider: Is that it? (Peter: {cont.} I'm gonna take a hike.)
(Window shatters)
Strider: Peter then goes on to tell his children he wishes they were never around.
And for "some reason" his family is a little upset at him.
A-Are we supposed to be feeling sorry for Peter at this point?
This is a guy who openly states he beat his children as infants...
Gives them drugs...
Assaults his daughter...
Beats his wife...
Attacks random people...
And cares nothing for anyone except himself!
This guy deserves to be in jail!
Not given a turnaround where he says sorry, and the family likes him again!
Which just happens like clockwork every episode.
I find it really hard to stomach watching Peter in this one.
Peter: Well, I guess if you can't earn your kids' respect, you can always buy it!
(Family laughs)
Santa: (Singing) Chri~stmas Time
(i~is) Strider: Number 4...
Santa: killing us.
KILLING US!
Strider: "Fresh Heir"
Probably the most awkward "Family Guy" episode I've ever seen.
Carter leaves all his money to Chris, so Peter decides to marry his son.
And poor Chris wants to spend time with his dad so much that he agrees to marry him.
I knew the episode was gonna go this way and I was just pleading from the start...
"PLEEEASSE! Don't do this!"
Why go this route?
But they did.
And it's just as awkward and creepy as it sounds.
Peter: Chris, to express my love, I turn to the words that only Blue Collar, New England scumbags like me know...
Robert Frost.
Strider: Maybe I'm not the target audience, but surely incest jokes is a *small* target audience.
This one was just creepy and weird...
UGH!
Moving on.
Joe's son: NO, dad.
Joe: I don't know what normal is anymore.
Santa: (Singing) Chri~stmas Time
(i~is killing us!) Strider: Aaand number three...
KILLING US!
Strider: "Brian Writes a Best Seller"
This episode's about, shock and surprise, Brian writing a best-seller.
Brian just becomes sooo unlikable in this episode that I *had* to include it!
Brian: Not okay! Can you figure out what the problem is?
(Stewie stammers)
Brian: How do you think I feel walking out of the back room of a restaurant...
And seeing Renee Zel-
Strider: "Fresh Heir" might about been about Peter marrying Chris...
But at least there was a light-hearted tone to it.
Brian writes a book in the self-help market...
And is given an excuse to be even more egocentric and nasty than usual.
And that's basically the whole plot of the episode!
There is a really good final live action part with Bill Mahar--
where Brian is rightfully taken down a notch for his ego over his book.
Bill: No no no! Outside! Outside now!
Outside! (Brian barks as he runs away)
Strider: But it just still didn't make up for how much I disliked Brian through it.
I know Brian can be a good character, we all do!
When he pairs up with Stewie, we get a collection of the best "Family Guy" episodes ever made!
But when his character is given this revolting persona, I begin missing our replacement friend Vinnie.
Vinnie: Soon thereafter a girl in the neighborhood married a Black guy...
so we all kind of turned our attention to that.
Santa: (Singing) Chri~stmas Time
(i~is) Strider: Number 2...
Santa: killing us.
KILLING US!
Strider: "Herpe the Love Sore"
I mean, really. What can you expect from a title like that?
Four words, and they've already gone into bad taste.
Anyway... Let's try and give it a fair look...
We start the episode with people assaulting his children with a whip.
Yeah, that's pretty standard awful for Peter.
He attacks innocent [people]...
Yeah, still standard Peter behavior.
Brian gives Stewie herpes.
Aaand there we go.
You know a Family Guy episode is going to be back when it starts by making you physically sick!
Oh, the imagery for this one is just... Eugh!
Revolting!
For some reason, this episode just keeps showing us revolting imagery as though it's trying to gross its viewers out.
I've never quite figured out how gross-out episodes do anything for a TV series except lose viewers!
But.. *MAYBE* people see something I don't in this?
One viewing was al I could handle of this one, and barely that!
I mean, I guess if you wanted to lose your appetite or make yourself throw-up it'd be good?
But believe me, it isn't funny.
As usual, Brian shows himself to be a dirtbag by knowingly giving everyone he dates herpes.
Just an exceptionally gross and unpleasant episode...
I.... don't recommend this one.
Santa: (Singing) Chri~stmas Time
(i~is killing us! KILLING US!) Strider: And the number 1 worst "Family Guy" episode of all time is...
Santa and Elves: (Singing) Christmas Time is killing us!
Strider: "Brian's a Bad Father"
The entire episode premise is summed up in the four word title.
And that's what the entire episode is...
Just...
Bitterness and uncomfortableness as we watch Brian being a deadbeat, manipulative father to his son, Dylan.
And we also get another sideplot of Peter purposefully shooting Quagmire, and they become enemies.
Why does he shoot Quagmire? I don't know, they never explain it!
Peter: Now this is a gun without a safety.
(Bang, and Quagmire shouts in pain)
Peter: Quite the difference, huh?
Marty: He's an asshole!
Strider: I don't think any other episode better displays how selfish Brian can be...
And how cruel, and psychopathic Peter is.
We spend the entire episode watching Peter be indifferent and just... *HORRIBLE* to Quagmire!
While Brian tries to mooch off his son's fame.
Which is just... cringingly pathetic to watch for the viewer!
Even the jokes in this one have this extra uncomfortable sting to them.
I swear, this episode was just made to annoy people.
And we finish the episode off by making fun of the mentally handicapped.
It also contains, what I consider, the most horrible...
Joke?
I've... *ever* heard!
Peter: Hey, Lois, if I was gonna kill myself, do I slit my wrists this way, or this way?
Meg: Sideways for attention, longways for results.
Lois: Meg is right.
Peter: Okay, I'll be in the garage.
Strider: Let me speak with you frankly for a second.
Sorry to break the flow of the video with this live action.
If you ever feel suicidal thoughts--
Call this number in [America], and this number in [United Kingdom].
I've also attached other countries in the description.
Sorry to show you this...
"joke."
You deserve better.
And with that out of the way, let's continue the review.
This one shows just how messed up our countries can be.
Swear words get bleeped.
But we can guide young people in how to [self-harm].
Nipples? Terrible.
Suicide guides? A-Okay.
I have zero respect for "Family Guy" after I saw this scene.
What writer thought people would laugh at this?
Did they even expect people to laugh?
Did they care?
Pardon me for getting so serious aout this, but...
This episode... just made me lose my sense of humor.
I know Seth knows he appeals to a teen demographic.
He says so himself.
Kid with hat: That's a comment on us.
Strider: I don't know what mountain of *SPITE*, hate, and anger this scene came from!
But it represents the absolute worst of "Family Guy."
No exceptions.
Nothing is given to the audience in this scene.
Just pure judgement, spite, and hate!
And that's why we have a winner.
"Brian's a Bad Father" is *the* worst "Family Guy" episode.
No exceptions.
Clown: And remember kids, TV violence is fine as long as you don't show a nipple!
(Goofy clown laughter)
(Chain clatters, cannon goes off, Peter exclaims.)
Strider: (Sighs) On a lighter note, there were good episodes in later seasons of "Family Guy."
Like ["Brian and Stewie"].
Brian: I love you too, Stewie.
Stewie: You give *my* life purpose.
And maybe...
Maybe that enough.
Strider: And "The Simpsons" crossover was exceptional.
And maybe that's what to take from this.
For every crappy joke, there was a good snicker in there.
Do you think I missed a key episode?
Do you have a least favorite yourself?
Let me know in the comments.
As always, thanks for watching. And I'll see you next time.
Guy: Worst. Chicken Fight. Ever!
Subtitled by Jadrek Myers. Commissioned by Phantom Strider.