I can't be anything else but who I am as a person,
so in any conflict situation they always say, you know, your true colors show.
Or, you really are who you are when you're put under the fire.
Sometimes we tend to think that only a certain type of person can act on their values.
We may think they have to be bold, assertive, risk-takers, maybe extroverts.
And perhaps they need to relish and perform well in a good argument.
The problem with this assumption is that
it can imply that if we see ourselves as cautious,
conservative, risk-averse, or maybe introverted...
we might conclude that we'll never be able to voice and act on our values.
Perhaps we just think that we lack the kind of moral courage
that would be required.
I've always believed I am an extrovert, but after having come to MBA [business] school,
I realize I think I'm actually a little bit more of an introvert than I expected.
I think I'm more risk-averse than risk-taking.
I've kind of always described myself as an outgoing introvert.
I see myself more as an introvert.
I like to get in there and argue with someone.
In our research we've noticed that all types of people can and have
acted on their values effectively; extroverts and introverts,
risk-takers and the risk-averse,
bold and cautious, alike.
The key similarity is that these folks understood who they truly were,
what was most comfortable to them, and what their abilities were,
and they framed the values conflicts they faced
in such a way as to play to their own strengths.
When I'm faced with any sort of a situation that I don't think I have an immediate answer,
my kind of gut reaction is just to step away a little bit,
and think through the facts and process the facts.
I do tend to take on conflict head on, if possible
but knowing, also, that
I tend to try to react quickly helps me know that I need to slow down sometimes.
If we see ourselves as risk-takers,
we might say, "Why not take a risk in the service of something that really matters to me,
in the service of my deepest values?"
On the other hand, if we see ourselves as risk-averse,
we might frame the challenge we face in such a way that
acting ethically feels like the safer route.
So, for example, if we are quick on our feet and clever with words,
we might be most effective in a one-on-one conversation with the person we want the influence.
If we're shy and we need time to think and craft our words in advance,
we might be more effective with a written memo.
Or perhaps, we may generate a set of critical questions
that will enable others to bring new and important information into the debate.
In my last job, I worked in finance, and
one of my roles was to evaluate our new products and how they were doing.
And obviously everyone benefited when the products did better.
I was never explicitly asked to make up numbers or
present false information, but I did feel like from time to time
some of my partners wanted me to kind of misconstrue the facts,
even keep certain information away to make a product look stronger than it actually was.
It just made me feel very uncomfortable when I was asked to do that.
And then I also think just having time to process and think really enables me to make a better decision
because I feel like with time I become more and more convicted about
the choice I need to make.
This is our self story, and it can be a source of inspiration,
confidence, and guidance in our efforts to find effective ways to act ethically.
There's always something we can try.
It becomes important to reflect on who we are,
who we truly want to be,
and how and when we are most effective,
and then to play to those strengths and understandings
when we're faced with ethical dilemmas.
I spoke to my supervisor.
I trusted him and felt like he had a good sense of what was right for the business, and
I knew that if I had his support, that I would be able to have a stronger voice,
and with his help, called out my counterpart
and just said that I didn't feel like I could present the information that way.
I felt like I did make a stronger ethical choice.
It definitely, you know, obviously in someways hurt the company in that it
made things not look as good, but
it's the choice you have to make.
There are many ways to align your unique strengths and style with your values.
The trick is to find a way to be yourself,
as opposed to trying to impose an unfamiliar
or uncomfortable identity on yourself when facing challenges.
My always-go-to-thing is to first
look at myself internally and to see what I want,
because if I don't truly understand what I believe in and what I stand for,
I can't fight for that and I can't find a solution in that.
Especially if it doesn't require
an impulsive response,
I actually take time to figure out how I'm going to deal with the situation.
So I usually go back and do my thinking and decide to myself that this is not what I'm going to do.
If I try to approach a person that I'm having a conflict with
in the spur-of-the-moment,
I might get really heated, and
I'm a very, I guess, emotionally driven person, so I might just
attack the person instead of peacefully communicating.
I put myself in a different role when I have to deliver that message.
I can't be the friend, you know, who's trying to be considerate.
There's a greater purpose that the message is trying to serve.
My message to anyone who's thinking about ethics right now
is to be confident in who you are
and don't compromise in the short-term
for what your long-term integrity represents.