Wow. I thought I was early,
but there are so many people here already.
They're servers.
I had them dress like guests so my friends wouldn't be all,
"Ooh, look at Spencer with his waiters,
and his remodeled apartment
and his Swarovski crystal boxer briefs."
Still just a regular guy.
- Gold leaf martini? - Yes, please.
You can really taste the gold.
Mm, mm-hm.
Hey, you earned your success. You're the guy who made
the marshmallow White House sculpture.
The way that it was half melted to reflect
our disintegrating democracy...
Ah, such a brave statement.
It was an accident.
I left it next to my cell phone,
which broke out into a spontaneous fire.
Anyway...
Now I own a falcon named Jericho.
[chuckles]
Wow, I clearly did it all wrong.
Pursued my dreams, married for love.
Two divorces and a failed start up later,
I'm back living with my mom.
Maybe instead of figuring out my next tech venture
I'll just melt some marshmallows.
Hah, I'll sue you into the ground.
Harper, I feel like you're not quite getting it.
I thought we agreed.
This is your moment to shine.
You need to be a trailblazer.
Totally, but, like an effortless trailblazer.
Like I just got out of bed and was all,
"Oops, I just blazed the trail."
Maybe I haven't been clear enough
about what I'm looking for.
No! Effortlessly trailblazing could not be clearer!
I know. I'm sorry.
It's just the thought of going out
on the red carpet on my own and seeing Beau and Lita...
It's just hard to choose an outfit for an event
I'm not that excited to go to.
Oh, maybe you just need some arm candy of your own.
And I have the perfect guy.
Trenton, and he is just your type.
Okay. I'm in.
- [squeaks excited] - Wait...
Is this another one of your man-me-downs?
We...
Never.
Did we...?
No.
I'm 80% sure we didn't.
Grandma B says your oatmeal got cold
and somehow it's my fault.
Oh, she's not blaming me.
Millicent, Carly's number one on iMemeDB.
Too bad Carly's reign will be short-lived,
and then she'll come to regret ever having had a face at all.
What is there to regret?
It's a photo of Carly spitting out a meatball.
Precisely.
In a few years, we could all be vegans
or not be allowed to spit because of a worldwide pandemic.
Don't worry about things that will never happen.
Ooh, 26 pizzerias just followed me.
- Hello, free garlic knots. - Oh!
How can you not see that this meatball is a ticking time bomb?
I'm going to check your timeline for more offensive content.
Oh, that's cute.
You're protecting Carly.
No, I want to cancel Carly.
Interesting...
I just want to make things again.
You don't need a partner to do that.
Yeah, I don't need a partner. I need Sam.
But she's off following her bliss with that biker gang.
Yeah, the Obliterators. I hope she's okay.
It's Sam. I hope they're okay.
[chuckles]
I just wish she was here so we could do iCarly again.
Hmm...
Do you think I could do it on my own?
It doesn't matter what I think. It matters what you want.
Of course I wouldn't be completely on my own.
I'd have my new producer.
Aww!
You do mean me, right?
Yeah.
Do you think you can shoot me using that filter
that makes my cheek bones all...
That filter that makes you look like an alien?
A sexy alien.
Where's Freddie when you need him?
Who's ready to get drunk?!
Freddie!
It's me, Duke!
Hey, what's up, D-Bag?
This is Snot Rag, MC Gym Shorts.
And Lloyd.
Now, if you would be so chill
as to direct us to your fattest cake.
[cackling]
Oh, God, Freddie...
You're an iguana guy now?
Livin' the dream.
Don't you think you might have taken
the time machine back a little too far?
You're supposed to be reliving your 20s, not puberty.
[scoffs] Girls are lame!
Not you, Snot Rag.
And I'm not marrying you!
I'm not doing anything with anyone here!
Okay, okay. The wedding is off.
Wait, wait, wait. The wedding is on.
At least, I hope it is.
Because there's still one secret I haven't told you yet.
[whispering] She's a robot!
My secret is that somehow, during this whole crazy scheme,
I fell in love with you.
[crowd] Ooh...!
My thing was more believable.
Really? You fell in love with me?
Nevel Papperman?
[thunder claps]
That was real.
And as for the battery Carly saw,
it was supposed to be a surprise.
[crowd] Aww...!
I can't believe it.
Someone loves me.
This has never happened to me before.
Prunella, I love you too.
[clapping]
Carly, are you gonna be okay?
Yeah, I'll manage.
[wedding march starts playing]
Has something been holding you back
that you wish to break free from?
Yes.
Are you saying it's possible to break the curse?
That's exactly--
Zagnut, I was talking to Zagnut.
Yes, but I'll need an object that represents the curse.
I could rustle up a Tamagotchi.
I have something else in mind.
It has pockets.
Place it on the tray.
Now, repeat after me:
Mysterium casu interficere.
[chanting together] Mysterium casu...
Vanilla latte...
[grunts]
- Oh, my God! - Too real!
The gods of Fortuna have broken your curse.
That's it? I just had to burn a stupid letter?
I mean, if you want to totally
diminish my role in all this, okay...
I can't believe it.
This entire party has been a series of death traps.
The handrail, the toothpicks, a spontaneous fire.
And nothing has gone wrong.
I think I might actually be cured.
In fact...
I'm free!
I'm gonna use the microwave.
Albert, that was amazing!
I see spirits...
and smell toasts.
You can drop the act. She's gone.
[sighs in relief] Best 20 bucks of my life.
[chuckles] We both know there's no curse.
That's not great.
Hi, friends. I'm coming to you live
from the grand opening of my brother Spencer's
newest art show.
And these shirts are made with 100% recyclable materials.
So be bad, buy that premium gas.
Before I go in, I just wanna say
most of the meatball face memes you've been making are amazing.
Some of them, a little offensive.
Three of you need therapy.
But Spencer isn't just the meme guy.
He's a really talented artist,
and this night is all about Spencer
and has nothing to do with me or...
my face!
[gasps]
Okay, well, he's on board with the meme.
[chuckles]
In a really big way.
"The Museum of Influence."
So, this is different than I expected.
Oh, look.
A slideshow.
Uh, "@JacquesnessMonster,
I'd rather be constipated for a month
than read your blog."
[chuckles]
Love that he's amplifying that.
What do we have here?
[Spencer recording] Like, like, like!
Does this make your empty soul feel better?
A hateful like button...
[chuckles] Deep.
Oh, there you are.
Millicent, I drew your bath, and Freddie...
Freddie!
I put your warm milk
in your thermos next to your bed.
And if you're both good, I'll let you snuggle with me
for 10 minutes and watch Toledo House Flip.
Oh, my gosh! Come on, Freddie!
Toledo House Flip!
[door opens] So we done here?
Great.
Oh, thank you.