- 'Cause let's think about this for a minute.
- [Voiceover] (drowns out speaker) I'm a fat man.
Look at my fat cheeks, give me a donut,
put a donut right in that open hand right there.
Yep, that's me.
Not that long ago I was fat. - Fat!
- Fat!
- There's no way that anyone treats other people differently
depending on whether they're fat or lean or not.
Or if they're in shape or not, is there?
That would be wrong.
That would be incorrect.
Well, do they?
I'll tell you my experience.
I went from about 258 to about 208.
Where I stand in front of you now I'm about six foot four,
I lost fifty pounds.
I went from probably, I don't really know where I started,
probably about 22 to 25 percent body fat,
down to maybe little bit under ten right now.
And I'm going to go through three very notable differences,
between the way that people used to treat me before,
and the way that people treat me now.
Now the last one that I'm going to go through
is specific to attraction, and attracting women,
the response that they give.
So if that's interesting to you stick around for that.
So the first thing that is notably different
when you are in shape versus out of shape,
is the amount of social status
that people assign to you before interacting with you.
So people will move out of your way more.
They'll ping off you more in the environment.
What does that mean,
when people ping off you in the environment?
Well basically, when there's people that people feel
as higher status, maybe the boss,
or maybe someone just did a performance of a cello,
or a piano or a musician.
People are looking at them as high status
in that environment right.
People, maybe a girl that you're attracted to,
you see her as high status.
People will naturally check their eyes with the person
that they feel like is high status,
and basically what they're doing is just checking
to be sure that they're doing everything okay.
That they're not doing anything too out of the ordinary.
Everything that I'm doing in this environment is fine.
And who is that the most important to check with?
The highest status person.
Now I don't have time to get into a bunch of high status
lessons but if that's interesting to you
I've got a social invincibility checklist
that'll go through five things, like pinging,
that'll help you better understand what's going on.
I'll put a link in the description below,
or you can go to charismamatrix.com/sichecklist.
So people are always going to assign higher status to you.
Now one thing I do want to point out,
there's other things that you can do,
to boost your status as well.
If you dress well, if you carry yourself well,
if you have a strong, deliberate tone of voice.
Those things are all going to boost your status as well.
The way you walk, the way you make eye contact.
But, simply being in shape is one attribute that alone,
people are going to assign higher status to you at,
and also it's going to help compound.
So if you already have nice dress,
you have good proper vocal tonality,
you have good eye contact, good body language,
being in shape is just going to be another
step there to get you to a level higher.
Now the second one could be the most important one
and that's simply the fact that your self esteem rises,
and the way that you perceive yourself rises,
and your subconscious thinks you have higher value,
you have higher status because people treat you differently.
So when you get up and you gotta squeeze
into those 36 jeans,
and they still look like they're painted on,
and you got a muffin top,
and it's 75 degrees and you're like,
"Man, can I still wear a sweater to hide this muffin top?"
What does that do to your confidence?
Yes, you can still be a very confident person,
but that definitely doesn't add to it,
in fact it detracts from it, no matter who you are.
I mean look at a guy who's very open with his challenges
of losing weight is Mark Cuban.
I think he's about 20 pounds away, not too much,
but notably he has a little bit of a gut
and he always talks about it.
And even a guy who has that level of confidence,
he's a billionaire, he's here in Dallas.
That is not good for his confidence,
to have something like that that he feels bad about.
So when you start to feel better about yourself,
you know you slip on those jeans, you feel good,
you're looking light, you look in the mirror
it's looking fine, looking good, feeling good.
It boosts your confidence.
And what that does, is it shows itself
in every means of communication, the way you walk,
you're more comfortable holding eye contact with people,
you sound stronger, you walk into an environment
maybe before you felt like not that confident,
but like hey I got it going, I'm feeling good.
Your shoulders go back.
People respond to that,
and people pick up on those little differences.
So I feel like probably if you actually deduced it down
and did a scientific study about it,
the way you feel about yourself increases to the point
that people can sense that, and it ups your charisma
and therefore ups your social value.
So what about women? How do they respond differently?
How has things changed in my life
from when I was 260 to 210?
Well I'll tell you this.
The biggest thing is that when you're out,
not in an environment that you're going to be
talking to people, you're just walking on the street,
you're jogging on the trail.
You will get a lot more direct eye contact,
and lingering eye contact.
I'm gonna talk about a study that backs this up.
Basically, it's just a woman's subconscious,
it's just pulling more attention
because you're that healthy body weight.
It ups the attraction.
It stands out to them as an attractive characteristic.
So when I'm 260 bumbling around with the tire
around the middle, their subconscious is like,
"Oh just keep going."
Versus a guy who's in shape, just like you,
there's probably a certain type of woman,
that's going to get your attention,
and it's probably a woman that's in shape, right?
If that's the only thing you have to go off of.
'Cause these women as I'm walking past
they don't think about my personality,
they don't know anything about my tone of voice,
or anything else like that, but they do know how I look.
So I definitely noticed that.
I dug into the data to see
if there is any that really supported this, and there was.
So there was a study done on the attractiveness of men,
and how that changed, and what's the sweet spot
for body mass for a man to be the most attractive,
and it's very interesting.
The one thing I'll say about the Body Mass Index,
is it doesn't account for your muscle mass.
So it looks at basically every guy the same, as we all know,
different people have different amounts of muscle mass
so if you have a little more muscle,
the BMI that I'm going to tell you
is going to be a little too low.
Like for instance the BMI is right around 21,
is optimal for attractiveness.
But for me that means I'd be weighing like 175 pounds,
and I'll tell you that would not be an attractive weight,
because I have a little more muscle than average.
So really we should look at it
as far as body fat's concerned,
and that's right around ten percent.
Eight to eleven percent is probably
the sweet spot for your attractiveness.
And they found the BMI of 21, is at the low healthy range,
which is actually really lean.
And one of the ways that we see this
kind of extrapolate itself is look at Hollywood.
Of course all the Hollywood actors the main leading guys,
they're going to have them at the very optimal body fat
for attractiveness right, 'cause that's going to have
an impact on how the movie does, how many people want to go,
and how do these guys look?
Brad Pitt in Fight Club was probably a little leaner
but that was a movie about fighting and things like that.
Most of these guys are probably right around eight,
nine percent body fat to achieve that peak attractiveness.
So how is that actually going to manifest itself?
Well, it's just another attribute that you have.
When you learn to date, to flirt and to talk to people,
just be attractive to people you're attracted to,
there's a ton of things you can do.
You can get your life in check.
First of all if you have a cool life, that's the easiest way
it's congruent, people want to be involved with people
who are successful and doing interesting things.
You get your tone of voice right, you get your banter right.
All these things.
But even if you have all those things dialed in,
being in shape is just another feather in your hat.
It's just going to up your social value a little bit more.
And that little difference,
let's say you got a lot of things in check,
but you're really going for a super high quality woman,
that little difference may be the thing you need
to get her attention.
You know a woman like that has a ton of guys wanting
to go out with her, and if I--
For instance for me if I'm 260 and I'm bumbling over,
"Oh hello," well there's a lot of things
I can do to communicate high status and still do well,
but what if it was I'm right on the verge
of being able to get her attention or not?
And now I show up 208 looking good, feeling good,
and not only can she sense that, but her subconscious like,
"Dude's in shape, give this guy a chance."
And now I'm in.
So just understand, it's not necessary.
When I was 260,
it wasn't like I wasn't talking to any women at all,
but this just boosts your value a little bit more,
it's just another attribute,
it's another point that you have in the dating system,
which can be important especially when you're talking
to right at that threshold that you can get.
Now talking about out at bars and restaurants,
I was out the other night with a buddy of mine,
who was going to meet up with a friend of his
who was having a birthday party
at this kind of clubby environment, in Dallas Texas.
And the guy whose birthday it was,
I guess he was some sort of high status guy,
I didn't know who he was.
And I went up to him to say hello, completely ignored me.
Stone wall ignored me.
If you want me to tell you the story about what happened
and how I handled that pretty challenging social situation,
you can go right here, you can click right there
and I'll tell you the story now.