YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
LIKE, REAL HATIN', MAN, THAT'S LIKE AN ART FORM, MAN.
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE, YOU LIKE A BORN HATER.
YOU KNOW, LIKE MYSELF, A LOT OF CATS THINK THEY HATIN'.
I MEAN, I'M MAD AT EVERYTHING, MAN.
BROTHER GOT A NICE CAR--
"MAN, WHY YOU GOT A CAR ? I ONLY GOT ONE CAR.
"WHY YOU GOT THREE CARS OR A WIFE OR ALL THAT ?
MAN, THAT'S PLAYED OUT."
I HATE ON A NIGGA 'TIL HE'S TOTALLY BROKE,
AND AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' LIKE ME, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ?
'CAUSE, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT REAL HATIN' IS ALL ABOUT, MAN.
HEY, WHAT'S POPPIN', EVERYBODY ?
THE EVIL STAR HERE, WANNA WELCOME YOU TO
THE FIFTH ANNUAL PLAYER HATERS AWARD, UH, CEREMONY.
THIS GALA AFFAIR, WE, UH, WE HOST THIS ONCE A YEAR.
WE HONOR THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS VERBAL ABUSERS,
UH, ON THE PLANET.
( heavy Korean accent )
AGAIN, I'M HATING ALL THEM KOREANS.
( speaking Korean )
IS THAT A CUT ON BEAUTY ?
THE PLAYER HATERS BALL GIVES US AN OPPORTUNITY
TO HATE ON A DIVERSE ARRAY OF MARK-ASS MARKS,
TRICK-ASS MARKS, PUNK BITCHES
AND SKIP-SCAP SKANKS AND SCALLYWAGS...
HO'S, HEIFERS, HEE-HAWS AND HULA HOOPS.
MAN, YOU OUGHTTA TAKE THAT CANE
AND BEAT WHOEVER MADE THAT SUIT TO DEATH.
( laughs )
WHY DON'T YOU VACUUM THAT COAT, MAN ?
WELL, WELL, WELL !
THE MOST DIABOLICAL HATERS THIS SIDE OF THE MISSISSIPPI.
BUC NASTY, WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT THAT SUIT
THAT HASN'T ALREADY BEEN SAID ABOUT AFGHANISTAN ?
IT LOOKS BOMBED OUT AND DEPLETED.
AND OF COURSE, THE SO-CALLED "BEAUTIFUL".
WHY DON'T YOU CLICK YOUR HEELS TOGETHER THREE TIMES
AND GO BACK TO AFRICA ?
AND AS FOR YOU, BOSS HOGG,
VERY INSULTING WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT MY COAT.
IT'S MADE OUT OF YOUR MOTHER'S PUBIC HAIR.
QUITE SHITTY.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GONNA GO TAKE MY THRONE
'CAUSE I'M A SHOO-IN...
FOR HATER OF THE YEAR.
THE PLAYER HATERS BALL IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT
HATING ON ONE ANOTHER.
WE PLAY GAMES WITH EACH OTHER, TOO.
LIKE OUR ANNUAL PHOTO FLIP.
DAMN.
OH MY GOD.
LITTLE-ASS TEETH ? NIGGA GOT DOLPHIN TEETH.
ARSENIO HALL TEETH !
HE ALWAYS SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT ANYONE TO SEE HIM SHINE,
BUT THE NIGGA LOOKS SHINY TO ME.
LOOKS LIKE MALCOLM X BEFORE HE CONVERTED TO ISLAM.
NEXT.
THANK YOU, MISS EFFIE.
GOOD LORD, ALMIGHTY, IT'S OSAMA BIN LADEN.
THAT MOTHERFUCKER PUMPED MY GAS IN MY CAR
ON THE WAY OVER HERE.
THAT'S IRONIC, BECAUSE I TAKE YOGA CLASSES FROM HIM.
NEXT PICTURE, PLEASE.
I LIKE THE SONG THE GIRL SINGS, "PAPA, DON'T PREACH".
I GOT A SONG FOR YOU TOO, BITCH.
IT'S CALLED, "DAUGHTER, DON'T SING".
NEXT PICTURE, PLEASE.
IT'S BOY GEORGE !
NOW, THAT MAN RIGHT THERE I'D HATE TO FIGHT.
SHE WEARS UNDERWEAR WITH DICK HOLES IN 'EM.
( man ) NOW TO PRESENT THE AWARD
FOR PLAYER HATER OF THE YEAR-- ICE T. !
( booing )
YOU LOOK LIKE BILL COSBY ON CRACK !
I'D LIKE TO WELCOME ALL YOU IGNORANT-ASS BITCHES,
CRITICS, COMPLAINERS, DISGRUNTLED RAPPERS,
HA, AND RACISTS ESPECIALLY,
TO THE NINTH ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL
PLAYER HATERS BALL !
OH, MAN, HATE, HATE, HATE...
( audience chanting ) HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE...
HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE.
OH, MAN, YOU CORNY !
NEXT NIGGA SAY SOMETHIN' WHILE I'M TALKIN'
IS GETTIN' SHOT, PLEASE BELIEVE THAT.
HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE !
SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,
LET ME GIVE YOU THE NOMINATIONS FOR PLAYER HATER OF THE YEAR.
Y'ALL READY ?
FIRST UP... BUC NASTY !
CLAP FOR ME, BITCH !
BUC NASTY IS NOMINATED FOR...
GETTING HIS BEST FRIEND'S WIFE PREGNANT,
THEN TRICKING HIS BEST FRIEND
INTO RAISING THE LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER.
YEAH, HOLLA AT YOUR BOY.
DAMN, THAT'S HATEFUL !
THE NEXT NOMINEE IS PIT BULL.
( booing )
PIT BULL IS NOMINATED FOR CALLING THE POLICE
ON THE DRUG DEALERS THAT MOVED NEXT DOOR TO HIS HOUSE,
NOT BECAUSE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO,
JUST BECAUSE HE WAS JEALOUS OF ALL THE MONEY THEY WAS MAKIN'.
PIT BULL ! ( barks )
FINALLY, THE ONE AND ONLY...
SILKY JOHNSON !
( boos and applause )
SILKY JOHNSON IS NOMINATED
FOR CALLING IN A BOMB THREAT TO THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS, MAN !
( audience ) HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE !
THE WINNER OF THE NINTH ANNUAL
PLAYER HATER OF THE YEAR AWARD IS...
( man ) LOOK LIKE A BOOTLEG ICE T. !
SILKY JOHNSTON !
( booing )
KISS MY ASS !
I'M THE BIGGEST HATER !
SILKY MINK MADE OUT OF 100% RAT ASS !
HIT ME, BABY.
THAT, OF COURSE, WAS BEAUTIFUL TALKIN'.
BEAUTIFUL ON THE WEEKENDS DOES STUNTS
FOR LITTLE RICHARD IN GAY MOVIES.
( laughter )
FIRST OFF, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK GOD ALMIGHTY
FOR GIVING EVERYBODY SO MUCH...
AND ME SO LITTLE.
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU,
I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU, AND I HATE YOUR GUTS.
I HOPE ALL THE BAD THINGS IN LIFE HAPPEN TO YOU
AND NOBODY ELSE BUT YOU.
( booing )
HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE !
AND AS I SIP MY SODA
THAT I'M SURE SOMEBODY SPIT IN
I JUST WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO ALL OF YOU,
KISS MY ASS, YOU ROTTEN MOTHERFUCKERS.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GONNA GO HOME
AND PUT SOME WATER IN BUC NASTY'S MAMA'S DISH.
GOOD EVENING.
( laughter )
HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE,
HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE...