- I have applied to 26 jobs this week.
- Okay, where? Where did you apply?
- Um, Craigslist, my--
- No, Ethan, pesticides you can't eat those
before you wash them, no.
Applying for jobs online is like
throwing your resume in a trashcan.
Ethan are you listening to me?
You gotta see if you have second degree connections
on LinkedIn, and then if you do,
then you connect with them and get first degree connections.
Yeah? - Shh.
- Oh, yeah.
Oh you know what? Actually, I have a friend who works
at Spotify, I'm gonna connect you guys.
- No thanks.
It's just, I don't like networking,
it makes me feel so gross and like, manipulative.
- What are you doing? What are you...
- No, oh, no, no (laughing).
- No. - I liked her.
- You're just smart and talented and I feel like
I want you to be happy and successful.
No, you're gonna get some kind of weird stomach virus
that's what was going on in Chipotle--
- I'm gonna feed one to you,
I don't wanna have a virus on my own.
I don't wanna be the only one.
- Did you wash this? - No (laughing).
- [Mary-Ann] Pesticides.
- [Ethan] It's all right.
- [Mary-Ann] If I get diarrhea...
(playful electronic tones)
- Yeah, it's hard to find someone you actually click with.
But don't worry about it, you know it's just a numbers game.
- I went on two dates in the last six months and like
that was emotionally draining for me.
(laughing)
- Well, it's better than last year.
- Yeah, maybe I'll go on three this year.
- Ooh, you bad, bad, (laughing)
I was gonna say bad girl, you bad...
- (laughing) You bad woman.
Hey, Ethan should be here any minute,
I don't know where he is.
- Oh, no worries.
You know, I might not be able to do anything for him,
I'll try but I can't guarantee it.
- Yeah, no, no totally, don't feel obligated to at all,
I think you should just meet him,
he's really cool and talented
and plus we get to hang out,
we never get to hang out. - I know it's so nice, yeah.
- You're super busy now.
- Is that, look at that guy chasing a bird...
- Nope, that's Ethan. - Hi.
- [Mary-Ann] Hey!
- I'm Dani.
- Hey, Ethan, nice to meet you.
- You too.
Cool shorts.
- Thank you.
- [Mary-Ann] I like those shorts.
Dani, did you know Ethan was a contributor to Pitchfork?
He wrote some article about how, um,
it was like Coachella's the new, um, what was it?
- That's cool. We do a lot of work with Pitchfork.
- Yeah?
- Do you know Naomi Miller?
- Yeah.
- She's great.
- I mean, I don't know her personally (laughing).
She's like my editor's editor's editor.
- Oh, yeah, she's super cool, great lady.
- [Ethan] Is she in L.A. ?
- [Dani] No, the New York office.
- Mhm, I've never been to the New York office.
- New York is a disgusting cesspool of a city.
- Are you kidding me? - What?
- No, it's just like, really loud, and noisy, and dirty,
and everyone's sad.
- Mary-Ann, you've only ever been to Midtown.
That is objectively the worst part of the city.
- Yeah. (laughing)
- It's just filled with tourists lining up
to get Hamilton tickets,
and they're too excited to go to the bathroom.
(laughing)
And, what else?
It's just that Bubba Gump Shrimp is there,
that's all. - Oh my God, yes!
- A. Hamilton is the best musical of our time
and B. Bubba Gump Shrimp is the best shrimp of our time.
Also, I came and visited you in Crown Heights,
so don't act like I've never been anywhere.
- Oh, I used to live in Crown Heights.
- Yeah? - Yeah, where'd you live?
- On Rodgers.
- Oh my God, I lived right by the Brooklyn Museum.
- Oh, the Botanical Gardens?
- Yeah. - That is awesome.
- So funny. - Wow.
- They're wonderful, but they couldn't do anything
until The Beatles paved the way.
- I don't think that's fair, at all, Pet Sounds?
Ugh, man. (laughing)
Okay, I got to go but this has been amazing.
- Yeah. - This has been fantastic.
- I will, despite your poor opinions, (laughing)
I will definitely let you know if there's an opening,
and send me all your stuff, your resume, everything.
- I'd love that, thank you. - Cool.
- Dani, this has been great. Thank you for hanging
out with us. - So good to see you.
- Yeah, it was so good to see you.
- We should all hang out soon.
- Yeah, let's do, maybe, drinks or something?
- Sure, cool.
- Actually, Mary-Ann and I were gonna go
rock-climbing after this.
Would you wanna join?
- Oh, um, okay, yeah sure.
I mean, I've never been but--
- It's Hollywood Boulders. It's Santa Monica and Bronson.
(classical music)
- Ah!(laughing)
- Match your hands, so put your right foot up.
Oh, yay that was great. - Oh my god.
- Ohh-- (group clapping)
- [Group] Ahhh!
- [Ethan] It's fun though, it's--
(classical music)
- Hey, can you guys take a picture?
Okay, fuck.
- Yeah, weirdly, it's a lot like yoga, you gotta like
breathe through it, otherwise you're just like kinda tense.
- What's his deal?
- Yeah he looks kinda tense right now.
- (laughing) No, I mean like, is he single?
- Yeah, yeah he's single.
He's just, you know, he dates people
but I think he's just not dating anyone right now 'cause
he told he was like focusing on his career and--
- Oh my god, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, kidding, yeah.
- Guys always say that when they haven't found
the right person. It's like a total cop out, you know?
- Totally.
- Wait, are you guys a thing?
- No (laughing) no, we're just friends,
we've just been friends for a while.
- Cool, okay, well. That's good to know.
- Mhm hmm.
- I'm gonna go climb.
- Okay, have fun.
- Oh (laughing) are you okay?
- You guys wanna get drinks?
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Cool.
- You have three pictures with your grandmother.
- If you don't like my Nana, we can't date.
(laughing)
- You guys want another drink?
- What? - Do you want another drink?
- Oh no, I'm good.
- Okay.
- I don't wanna keep on looking--
- Okay, now I'm gonna read your messages.
Is that too much?
(crack)
- Oh-- - Ooh--
- Oh, it's fine, it's fine it didn't break.
- Okay. - Whew.
- What's next?
- Ah, I don't know, maybe we should call it a night?
- What, no c'mon Ethan, please.
- Well I'm gonna go to my friend's party in Silverlake
if you wanna come?
- Yes, we should go to a party.
- Lots of very fancy, music business types. (laughing)
- I don't know, I wanna go home I think.
- Oh c'mon, don't be a wet blanket, please.
- Hey, he doesn't wanna come, it's fine.
- No, he does. - We'll still have fun.
- No, he wants to go-- - We should go, you and I.
- I know, but he--
- Ethan-- - What's this?
- It was so nice to meet you. - Stop it, what are you--
What's she doing right now? - I don't really--
- Is that reverse psychology? - You coming?
- Are we going?
- Yeah we're going now.
I don't know what's happening.
I feel like I'm being manipulated.
We're going, c'mon.
- Where's Silverlake though?
- There's something sexy about mannequins.
I'm drawn to it, you know, I mean it's not creepy
because it's not a woman I'm objectifying.
It's just a piece of plastic.
- Do you know if there's a bathroom somewhere?
- Yeah, I think there's one downstairs.
- Okay, thank you.
(chattering)
(grating party music)
- Oh my gosh, you're still here.
- Yeah, why wouldn't I be?
- I don't know, you're normally in bed by like ten.
Do you know where Ethan is?
- Oh, I don't know, you'd know better than me.
I'm gonna go and get another drink.
Sorry.
(guests talking)
(melancholy pulsing music)
- There's always a line in the bathroom.
- These are very callused. - Yeah.
- You're like a woodsman.
- Are you guys smoking weed?
(coughing)
(clapping)
- Oh my god.
(clapping)
(laughing)
(clapping, laughter)
- Alright, so you're gonna fill your mouth up
all the way with water
then we're gonna have a staring contest.
- Okay. - All the way, got it?
- Yeah.
(spitting) (laughing)
- Oh my god, are you okay? You're soaking wet.
- Excuse me, sorry, Ethan?
Ethan, come play this game with me.
Oh Ethan--
Wait, come, I'm sorry,
play this game with me, Dani can you--
- Oh sorry, yeah.
- Yeah, here. Okay, put this in your mouth and then...
- Wow. - It's vodka, yeah.
- It's vodka?
- Yeah, and we're gonna look at each other and the first
person to spit loses. - What?
No, I'm not-- (spitting)
- Ow, oh, ow, ow my eyes-- - Oh shit, are you okay?
- Sorry-- - Ethan, are you okay?
- That's how the game-- - Ow, ow, ow--
- Okay, let's go wash it out, let's go wash it out.
- Ow, oh, wow, yeah that hurts a lot--
- Mary-Ann, are you good? - No I'm fine--
- You're okay? - That's just how the game--
- It's just, how the game, works.
(toilet flushing)
(distant party noises)
(sigh)
(upbeat music)
- Are you fucking serious? - What?
- Ethan, of course you did.
- Mary-Ann, I specifically asked if you liked him,
you said no. - No, obviously I liked him,
of course I fucking liked him,
that's why you went after him.
- Why would I do that?
- I don't know, because you want what's mine, you want--
- Mary-Ann, you don't own him, okay,
he's a grown man,
I'm sorry, you're acting a little crazy right now.
- Oh yeah, well you're acting kind of like a bitch, so.
- Okay, um. I don't think you meant that.
This is between you and Ethan, so.
You guys can deal with it. I'm gonna get outta here.
(forlorn ballad plays)
♫ Now's my time for love, lonely moments ♫
- Hey there hot stuff.
Have you seen Dani?
- Um. She left.
- Oh. Okay. That's a bummer.
- Yeah, that sucks.
- Did you puke?
- A little. - Aw.
- I puked a little.
- Mary-Ann, okay, c'mon. I'm takin' you home, dude.
- Okay. I didn't puke that much, to be fair.
- Alright, take us to my house.
(somber sustained electronic tones)
(traffic outside window)
- Ethan. Ethan.
- Ethan.
- Hey, whoa, whoa--
Mary-Ann, what are you doing?
- Um, um, um-- - What are you doin'?
- Um, oh, uh-- - What's, are you okay?
- No, yeah, I'm fine, just go back to bed,
I just need to find my shirt.
(rustling)
I just, it's fine, just go back to bed.
- Uh, hey-- - No, I'm gonna--
- Oh, Mary-Ann, that's not a big deal, it's fine.
- No, it's fine-- - It's nothing, it doesn't--
- Honestly Ethan, just go back to--
- Mary-Ann, it's like three in the morning.
- There's nothing you can say to me right now
that wouldn't make me feel like shit, so--
- Mary-Ann, where are you going?
- I'll see you tomorrow. - You don't have to leave.
(door thuds shut)
(sigh)
(somber electronic tones)
(music swells in intensity)
(wind rustling)
(traffic sounds outside window)
(phones buzzes twice)
(turn signal taps rhythmically)
(engine slows)
- 'Sup lady. - Hi.
Morning. - Hey there.
- Ready for this hike?
- Definitely.
- Good, 'cause I'm hungover.
(engine rumbles)
- Kind of gloomy out.
- Yeah.
- I wanted to do a juice cleanse anyway, so I'm like,
I didn't necessarily wanna throw up, but like,
I think it'll be fine. Um, have you talked to Dani
yet about Spotify?
- Yeah, we're supposed to meet up for coffee tomorrow,
actually. - Oh, oh that's great.
Um, can you take a picture of me here, actually?
Just here. - Yeah.
Smile. Beautiful.
- Yeah. I'm gonna put this on my Bumble profile.
They said that you're supposed to like have a hobby or--
- You're gonna start online dating?
- Yeah, I thought I'd put myself out there.
- Yes. Awesome. - Yeah.
- I'm gonna sign you up for Jdate, is that okay? (laughs)
- Don't you have to be Jewish to do that?
- No, it'll be fine, it'll be a Shiksa.
- I don't think I know what that is.
(laughing)
- I mean, just like, I think in general it's just like
a statistics game, you know, like I need to--
- Yeah. It's all it is-- - Just meet some people.
- It's just numbers.
- Yeah, it'll be, yeah. It's gonna be good.
- It's gonna be great. I'm so excited.
- Yay.
- I'm gonna go marry you off. - Okay.
- Good. And then before then, we'll all go double date.
- Yeah, it'll be great.
Double dates.
(hopeful piano layered over electronic tones)