- And I spent right here in Brooklyn, New York
40 years loving the same man.
I'm a slow learner.
[LAUGHTER]
In and out, in and out, in and out
of relationship with this one man,
trying to get from him what I didn't get from my daddy.
But I didn't know it at the time.
I thought it was love.
In denial.
[LAUGHTER]
So the last time, I married him.
[LAUGHTER]
We had been together about five or six
years when he divorced me.
He filed for divorce.
[LAUGHTER]
He left.
How are you going to leave me?
I'm [INAUDIBLE].
[LAUGHTER]
Something must be wrong with you, brother.
I've been on "Oprah."
[LAUGHTER]
You know.
But he left.
Not only did he leave, he left me for somebody I knew.
But he was going to do the same thing with a stranger,
so it really didn't make no difference, right?
He was going to do the same thing.
So he left me for somebody I knew,
and I was in high [INAUDIBLE].
High [INAUDIBLE].
I did not want to be spiritual at all.
I wanted to hate his ass, OK?
Sometimes, you just don't want to be spiritual.
You want somebody to burn in hell.
Don't leave me out here by myself, Brooklyn.
[LAUGHTER]
You know, that's the truth.
And that's why a lot of times, we won't forgive.
Because we want revenge.
I want your ass to pay for what you did to me.
Mhm.
And I was there.
But I knew that if I didn't forgive, my work with you
would be tainted.
So I had to.
I didn't want to, but I had to forgive him.
So I started out writing it.
Because I always say write it because you can put that energy
down and transform it by burning it, tearing it up, flushing it.
So I said, I forgive you.
I forgive you.
[LAUGHTER]
I said, let me write with some colored pencils
so it'll look pretty.
I forgive your ass.
[LAUGHTER]
I'm telling the truth, OK?
I'm trying to heal.
I forgive your dumb ass.
This is not going to work out well for me.
Let me not write-- let me say it in the mirror.
Because, you know, they say you say it in the mirror,
and you're speaking right into your soul.
You know, and you can feel it.
So I got in the mirror.
I forgive you.
I said, let me get naked.
[LAUGHTER]
Because right now, I'm trying to fix my hair and get my lashes--
let me get naked so I'll just be all ready.
I forgive you.
I forgive your mother for having you.
[LAUGHTER]
That was not working, either.
[LAUGHTER]
I forgive you.
No, I don't.
Yes, I do.
I forgive your daddy for impregnating your momma.
[LAUGHTER]
I said, OK, [INAUDIBLE].
You've got to get a little more willing.
You know, because willingness is the key.
Sometimes, we can't do stuff because we
just ain't willing to do it different,
to go the extra mile.
We're just not willing.
[APPLAUSE]
I'll never forget the day God told me, get out of Brooklyn.
Get out of Brooklyn.
I've been here all my life.
My family was here.
Everything I know was here.
Get out.
Because you're never going to rise
above where you are until you rise above who you are.