- You asked for it and I'm delivering
more educational reactions to one of your faves.
Family Guy #5 is coming at you hot.
But before we get into it,
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My name is Dr. Jordan Wagner.
I'm an ER doctor.
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All right, let's dive right in.
- Lois, you're getting your tubes tied.
- Why should I get my tubes tied?
You should get a vasectomy.
- First of all, I don't know what that is.
And second of all, no freaking way.
(laughing)
- Tubes tied, so what they're meaning
is the fallopian tubes through a tubal ligation,
blocking off the tube.
Then there's a chance that you won't get pregnant.
So it's like 99.99%, but it's a big procedure,
versus a vasectomy.
It's basically you're doing a very similar procedure
where you're cutting off the tubing
from where the sperm leaves to get mixed in with the semen.
So that way, now you don't have any swimmers in there,
but you still have ejaculate.
It's an easy procedure, it's outpatient.
It's a lot more, I would say gentle per se.
- It's actually a lot quicker and safer.
Let these guys explain.
- Thank you, Brian.
♪ A vasectomy's a medical procedure ♪
♪ One that makes you ♪
This is awkward.
♪ You're half a man ♪
It doesn't make you half a man.
You still make sperm, but they don't get ejaculated out.
So you can still climax, still have an orgasm,
all that stuff.
- Just come out whenever you're done.
(glasses clattering)
- Oh, oh, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God,
oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.
(thudding) (yelling)
- Oh, that's disgusting.
- [Peter] Oh God, I, I think I feel them moving.
- All those samples are now contaminated.
Not sure if Peter has already had a vasectomy
or he's getting checked.
If you have a vasectomy,
you then need to provide a semen sample.
It could take a little bit.
A month, two months, three months.
There could still be a little residual sperm coming through.
- Hi, my partner and I want to have a baby.
We'd like a vial of sperm and an applicator
that looks like Jodie Foster's knuckles.
- Certainly, let me just go to the freezer.
(laughing)
- That's horrible. - Mr. Griffin,
you were in there an awfully long time.
Are you all right?
- Yeah, yeah, fine, fine.
And just so you know, everything in there
is exactly the way it was when I went in.
There is absolutely zero chance that I spilled all the jars
and had to refill 'em with my own sperm.
(dramatic music) - What?
That is disgusting.
Oh my gosh.
Our bodies actually aren't made to be able
to produce that much and there's actually
an absolute refractory period in men
to where you actually cannot ejaculate again
in such a short period of time.
- [Dr. Hartman] Okay, Mrs. Griffin, tell me what you see.
- I see a cow in a lab coat, some vultures in a cowboy hat,
and a dog trying to trick a cat into a clothes dryer.
- Just as I thought.
You're farsighted. (laughing)
(cymbals crashing)
Doing your visual acuity test,
you could do shapes, letters,
but typically it's not images
and it's a certain distance away
and we know how good this doctor is.
- I would say you either need to get glasses or maybe LASIK.
- Is that the surgery people get
and then tell everybody they got it?
- Yes, it's the veganism of elective surgery.
(laughing)
- That is so true, that you'll definitely know
is somebody's ever had LASIK before
because they'll tell you,
but they're super excited about it.
They have better sight, so why wouldn't they wanna share it?
There's LASIK, there's PRK.
There's other type of different surgeries,
but it's all related to the cornea itself actually.
Changing potential thickness of your cornea,
which then has to do with how well you're seeing.
- If you're unsure of what to do,
here's a video of Radiohead front man
and super weirdo Thom Yorke to help you decide.
- Not many people know that I'm blind in one eye.
Can you guess which one?
(laughing) - Fine, I'll get the LASIK.
- Great, make an appointment with my nurse.
Now here's a lollipop from the Sackler family
that says, "Sowie."
- I think this doctor's a general doctor,
a family medicine doctor.
This doctor does not perform eye surgery
unless it's an ophthalmologist.
And then the whole Sackler reference, I ...
So I'm not sure if everybody understands,
but the Sackler family owns Purdue Pharma.
Purdue Pharma has to do with producing opiates
and almost being sued by every single state
in the United States for having their hand
in producing the opiate epidemic per se.
- Mrs. Griffin, the surgery was a success.
And by that, I mean the hospital agreed
to take your Discover card.
- Plus, we'll get 1% of that back,
which is basically like getting nothing.
- Oh my gosh.
Obviously ripping on the hospital
because you have to pay for the services,
especially in the United States.
But in other countries, sometimes you don't have to do that
and it's just the services are available.
And are free of charge or paid in your taxes
that you pay, all that stuff.
Bandages are off.
And the clarity of vision is ...
(gasping)
- Oh my God.
- She can't see.
- I'm blind. (dramatic music)
- What? - [Peter] But you can
still see like the stove and laundry, right?
(laughing)
- So listen, disabling vision loss where you're
like seeing black is very, very rare in LASIK surgeries.
- Hey, what do you got there, Peter?
- Rice cakes, never had one, but somebody told me
this is a really good way to start your diet.
(crunching)
(yelling)
- Rice cakes are fine.
It's a source of carbohydrates and it is a good way
to help get your diet going to help lose some weight.
And to kind of manage how you get your carbohydrates in
and your different calories in your body.
(yelling)
(vomiting)
(gasping)
- Who could think of such a horrible thing?
(laughing) - So dramatic.
- Peter, I don't understand why we have to drive
all the way to Ohio to ride a stupid rollercoaster.
- Yeah, besides, they're still not gonna let you on.
You haven't actually lost any weight.
- Oh, I think my lithe figure would suggest otherwise.
- He's wearing a corset.
Didn't lose weight, just displaced it in a different area.
We actually have these different types of braces as well.
They're called TLSO braces,
where it's the thoracic, lumbar, sacrum.
A piece of plastic to keep you from shifting
if you fractured one of the vertebrae in your back.
Historically, corsets are made to tighten everything up.
Today instead, people are using like waist trainers.
- A girdle is not a substitute for weight loss, Peter.
- Hey, I'm riding that rollercoaster
and that's all there is to it.
Now let's get out of here.
This thing's squishing my organs around.
(squelching)
(heart thumping) (laughing)
- First off, is that it's squishing your organs.
It doesn't squeeze your organs out, especially your heart.
It's protected by your ribcage, so squeezing your belly,
not gonna squeeze it out.
Could your stomach slide up from a hiatal hernia?
Yes, that could be possible and it can go
into your chest cavity and displace your lungs to the side.
Not necessarily gonna come out of your mouth.
- Yeah, come on, Quagmire.
Get the hair transplant.
Come back to us.
- You're right, this isn't me.
Baldness is for women's crotches, not men's heads.
- There you go.
That's pretty close.
(laughing)
- Hair transplants are a thing.
You can take good hair and you put it back in the head,
but I have seen a lot of people fail,
where they have like this huge big strip of hair missing
in their back and they're bald on top.
Now you could also take medications
to try to keep your hair before you lose it.
- Glenn Quagmire, why does that name sound familiar?
Oh, yeah, I treated you for butt flu.
- Hey, you wanna keep it down?
(laughing)
- I don't really know what butt flu is.
It's not a diagnosis that I've used
and it's not an ICD-10 code.
Maybe it's like diarrhea or something like that,
but flu in general, body aches and the viral illness,
cough, runny nose, those certain things.
So of the butt, is that what they're trying to reference?
It's not a thing.
- How's it going Dr. Kamada?
Bob, Matty, Jim, Miriam.
- Yeah, that's not good.
- Sheesh, Joe. - Yeah, I come here a lot.
- As everybody who's told me,
Joe didn't get paralyzed from a spinal injury.
His legs got all shot up,
so he's probably had multiple surgeries,
had to go to the hospital a lot.
And over time, you actually develop relationships
with the people that you are there with
and that are helping you recover.
- I now declare this hair transplant officially over.
(gun firing) - What?
- Hey, hey, hey.
- What is this doctor?
I've seen him do LASIK surgery earlier today
and now he's doing hair transplants.
No, these are doctors of these different surgeries
are specialists, not general practitioners.
- Hey, he's back.
- You look great, Quagmire.
(beeping)
- Oh my God, one of my patients on two has been shot.
(dramatic music) - My gosh.
Now he's got a GSW upstairs, shot through the floor.
And then it's a trauma.
At the trauma hospitals that I've work at,
if you're shot in certain areas,
hand or below your knee and it's a soft tissue wound,
you're not even in trauma activation.
Wound care and followup.
- I call it Peter Griffin's Bunker Busting Mega Ultra Super-
(fireworks exploding) (dramatic music)
- Oh, this is literally my life.
People who come in with no fingers.
Their hand is gone, exploded off, arm's gone.
We gotta think, we gotta be safe.
Please don't do this.
If this does happen, grab whatever tissue you can find.
If you see fingers laying around, limbs laying around,
grab them, go to the hospital
and get there as quick as you can.
- What happened?
Oh my God.
- No huge hurry, but I'm sort of out of juice over here.
- There's one of dad's fingers.
- We have to hurry.
- Grab the fingers.
- If you get him back soon enough, they can be reattached.
- Yes and no.
So the issue with fingers is you need
to reattach the blood supply and the nerve supply.
You can sew the tissue back together,
but you have to have a good blood supply
to make sure it has nutrients, that it just doesn't die off.
So that's one major issue.
And they're such small blood vessels.
And then it's a horribly dirty wound.
Bring everything in.
If you have a bleeding injury that's racing, amputation,
pressure dressing to the area.
And if that doesn't control it,
at that point, you may need to use a tourniquet
if it's life-threatening bleeding.
- Hey, there's one of them.
(soft tense music)
- Peter, look out.
(wheelchair crashing) (thudding)
- Peter's having a bad day.
What do you do with the amputated piece?
What you should do, don't put it directly on ice.
You actually want to either put that in a plastic bag
or like a wet gauze or a wet tissue around it,
put that in like a water, ice bag itself.
And that way, it stays cold, it slows down the processes
of the tissue to give it its best chance
to get reattached later.
Family Guy, on of my favorites.
I love Family Guy.
I didn't realize how many medical scenes
are in these shows and they're so wrong.
So please be careful with fireworks,
watch what you're eating and be responsible.
If you guys liked this video,
please check out this video over here.
You're gonna love it.
And as always, thank you so much for watching
and stay healthy, my friends.
(beeping) (upbeat music)
(beeping)