- Wait second, something is odd about this.
This is not a movie theater!
(chill electronic music)
Hello there, I'm Santa Claus, I bring joy to the world
all year long, but mostly at Christmas,
so be good, stay on my nice list,
and we'll bring you something very nice.
Be, bad, get on my naughty list, and all bets are off.
Hey, who's for you?
I don't do that.
Oh. (mumbles)
Day-to-day life of Santa Claus is very trying and very busy.
Every day, I'm making visits all over the world
to find out what children want
and find out if they've been good or bad.
Then, I have to go back to the North Pole,
back and forth, to make sure production is up,
to make sure that everything is okay,
to make sure toys are being made to my standard.
So when I deliver them on Christmas Eve,
I can put my name on it, To: You, From: Santa Claus,
and I can be proud with the finished product.
Today is Santa's day off, and on Santa's day off,
what he really enjoys is going to movies,
going to the beach,
going to the fair if there's a fair playing.
Renaissance Fair is a lot of fun for Santa.
(upbeat saxophone music)
Let's do it.
I think I look pretty good in this.
The beard is a little bit long, but that's okay.
It keeps my chin warm.
And the belly is a little bit large,
because, you know, I'm more buff than that.
But, overall, it looks really good.
I do like the big S.
I think that sleigh is a very close representation
of the actual sleigh, very close,
and it has some different scenes here.
It's loaded up with the toys in the back.
Typically I keep them in a bag
so they don't get covered in snow,
but they look good right here, that's good.
I do question four reindeer that're gonna pull that sleigh
and my excess derriere all around the world in 24 hours.
However, if four can do it, that's fine.
Eight is my normal team.
So, today is my day off, and today I'm gonna go see a movie.
We're gonna enjoy it, so let's be on our way, yee-haw.
Alright, now we're just going straight into the ground,
how do we pull out, oh like that, oh.
Well that didn't work worth a darn!
In real life, we would have eight dead reindeer,
and a really messed up Santa Claus,
but on the game it's pretty cool.
Watch this, lemme get really close,
because when I'm really close,
it's easier to climb up there, look at that.
Santa Claus, alrighty!
Up we go, levitate, levitate, whee!
And off we go, and look, there's a stupid bridge in the way.
We're going to the Purple People Eater Movie Theater.
Well, we thought we were.
Can I get two more reindeer?
Oh, barbecued reindeer.
Barbecue!
Wow, finally we made it to the theater, alright!
Let's go in and see what's goin' on in here.
This looks like this might, there we go.
Whoops, whoops, what's this guy, private members only.
This must be a really nice movie theater.
Yeah, alright, let's just go on in there
and see what's goin' on.
Wow, oh look, they have ATM machines and popcorn dispensers.
Wow, look at that, oh and they have vanilla ice cream!
Isn't that the coolest thing?
Now, what's going on here, let's see, let's look.
There's a bar there, wow, I like this movie theater,
this is good.
Oh, and look there's a fish tank!
Wait a second, something is odd about this.
This is not a movie theater!
What in the world is going on here?
Where did my elves send me?
Yeah, how do you get outta this place?
This place is, this is dark in here.
Wow, look we got to the fair!
Well that's okay, we'll do a movie later.
You know, this Ferris wheel looks like a lot of fun,
but they won't let me on the darn, oh look at that.
Oh, that gate won't open, it's stuck.
Wow, too bad OSHA's not here to fine them
for not having an exit path.
And I wish I brought some money with me.
Where's my elf that always has my credit card?
Hey buddy what're you doin' there?
Watch out, get outta my way.
What'd you say, what was that?
What was that?
Bam, come on, don't be messin' with Santa.
Told you not to mess with Santa, come on.
Alright, that's the ticket, alright, I'm outta here now.
Because I'm Santa Claus,
they have brought me cookies and milk.
Look at this.
Only 280 calories.
And a glass of whole milk.
Mm, Santa's favorite.
Alright, and we're going to the theater.
We have finally found it in this big town.
But maybe, oh,
oh, and no roll bar.
Next time you design this game, put a roll bar in for me,
because I'm tired of the broken neck thing.
It's just not that much fun.
Oh the theater, right there, the Ten Cent Theater?
Wow, those went out with high top shoes, ten cent theaters.
There we go.
Wow, we finally made it into the movie theater,
here we are, Fred's Pictures.
Wow, this is gonna be good, it's nice and quiet in here.
Nobody's eating popcorn, nobody's chomping in my ear,
nobody with a big stupid hat sitting in front of me.
Okay, we're at the beach, we had a really nice day.
Here we are, we went to the bad place first by mistake,
and that was kinda interesting,
and then we went to the fair, but I couldn't get
on the Ferris wheel, because I didn't have enough money.
But then, we went to the movies and saw a really cool movie,
and now we're here, but let's go down to the water
and have a run.
In fact, let's go swimming, what do you think?
Off we go, we're gonna go in the water,
it's gonna get our boots wet, but that's okay.
Blub blub blub blub blub.
Hey, this suit is way heavier than you would think
when it's when, that's okay.
Oh look a wave.
Whee!
Time for me to get back to work, get back to the North Pole,
make sure the elves are on track building toys.
Which way is LAX, because the reindeer are not here,
and I need a direct flight to the North Pole.
My favorite thing about being the actual,
one and only, genuine Santa Claus is,
that I am the one and only, genuine Santa Claus
in the world, and now I've shared that with you.
(cheery violin Christmas music)