This is a true story
of single mama drama
coming from a viewer's comment.
Just the tip number one
no matter how hot she is
or how amazing she seems
you have to automatically assume
as a single mom
she has lower market value
than you do.
Tip number seven
all single moms
are more selfish
than single women
without kids,
they have to be.
So, fellas
no matter
how lonely you are
or how desperate you feel
or how amazing she might be
you must avoid
these five types
of single mama dramas
at all costs.
Welcome to just the tip Tuesday.
Okay so, let's go through his story
and along the way
I will reveal the five types of single moms
you should avoid at all costs
and what this
poor fella should do.
We're going to call this fella WTF
because seriously
once you hear his story
you're going to be like what the Flintstone.
And yes,
we feel for you WTF
so bear with us here
we're going to give you some advice.
So, WTF writes,
I've been dating a single mom
mid-thirties
and she makes assumptions
about what I’m doing
and then she makes those assumptions
like they're fact.
First, type of single mom
you should avoid at all costs
is the I’m always right
you're always wrong mom.
Now, lots of women are like this
but it's even more amplified
when you're dealing with a single mother.
If you want to know the reasons why
other women
not necessarily single moms
always think they're right when they're not
then you want to watch my video
why she thinks she's always right when she's not.
I will put a link at the end for you
yes I will.
But any woman who thinks she's always right
and never wrong
especially a single mom
is going to make your life a living
H-E double hockey sticks
especially when it comes
to matters of her kid.
WTF goes on to write.
So, I had a situation like this
I’m working my third shift
and you know
she was talking about this pumpkin patch event
about a month ago.
She always brings her kids
to the pumpkin patch every year
okay, that's a good thing.
She's talked about it a few times
leading up to the date
and says you know if
you can't make it because you're too tired
because of sleep that's not going to be a problem.
Now, so far
this is actually looking pretty good
she seems to be considering
his health needs
and his work needs
and she's giving him notice
that this thing is coming up
but
stick with us because
this story is going to change.
But here's just the tip
for men who are considering
dating single moms.
Never
promise something
unless you're willing to throw your life
on the line to deliver
especially when it comes to her kid.
And do not
throw out maybes
because maybes are as good as
solid promises.
Remember, when you were a kid
and you got a maybe
that maybe was as good as a yes to you.
So, it's not just that
you're going to disappoint her
but you're going to disappoint her kid
and that's just not fair.
So, you're better off to disappoint up front
and then maybe deliver.
Under promise and over deliver
especially important
when you're dealing with somebody else's kids.
Remember, that kid
did not choose to be
in a broken household.
And if she's trying to give her kid
a sense of consistency and stability
that's a good thing
that makes her good mom.
Now, remember good moms
and good partners are not
necessarily one and the same.
So, just the tip number two
I've already said it
maybes that turn into no's
are far more disappointing
than if you just said no from the get-go.
Okay, let's get back to WTF.
So, the day comes along
and she wakes him up to say hey,
we're going to this thing are you coming?
If you are, then you got to get up right away
or we're not going to make it on time.
And he's like
I can't I got to sleep,
work, health got to do it.
So, she leaves
and she doesn't say anything
but he can tell she's pissed,
which brings us to
type of single mom to avoid
number two, silent but deadly
also known as
passive aggressive.
Now, gentlemen that's not necessarily the case here
but it does bring it to attention
that you want to avoid women who
will walk away seemingly calm
but allow
her anger to fester
only to get you back later.
If she gives you the silent treatment
you may think you've gotten off easy
but she will torture
your soul later.
So, if she pretends
everything's okay
but your gut feeling says
everything's not quite so okay
because she's kind of punishing you
in other ways
like maybe she's withholding affection
saying she's got a headache
and you know that's not true.
Or she decides to go
to her mother's for the weekend
but takes all the leftovers
so you've got nothing to eat.
Or she's been ignoring your text
or not replying very frequently
or with short messages
but says she's just been distracted or busy
but you know that's not true.
Or anything unusual
but aimed to hurt you
that's a major red flag.
Passive aggressive
silent but deadly.
So, here's where this is a little bit applicable
to this particular situation.
She let him sleep
right up
until the time where they had to leave
she didn't say hey,
we've got to leave in half an hour
or can you be ready to go.
She was like we got to go right now
or we're not going to make it.
And then she bailed right away
so that he didn't even have time
to get ready if he was
going to get ready to go.
So, she could later
be mad at him.
That's a red flag.
WTF says
she just walked out
and like he's up
10 minutes later and ready to go
and she's busy texting him all angry
and pissed off
because he wasn't ready like
instantly upon waking.
Then he says
she often starts
arguments over text,
which I’m starting to hate.
Which brings us to
the next type of single mom
you want to avoid at all costs.
Drama mama.
So first of all, WTF
you should not start hating
this behavior from her now.
You should hate it from the very beginning.
It's tougher to retrain someone
how to treat us
than to nip it in the bud from the get-go.
We teach people how to treat us.
Starting arguments over text
is immature behavior
and yes, it is a red flag.
Now, if a woman is legit upset
no she's upset no she needs
to walk away to calm down
and then does calm down
and maybe doesn't punish you
or just maybe she decides
it's not really that big a deal.
Or maybe she comes back
and discusses her needs
and her disappointment
in a mature way.
That's not a red flag
that's how relationships are
you got to communicate.
Just the tip number three.
We all have emotions
but women are typically a lot more emotional
than men are.
It's neurological biological.
That's the way we're wired I wasn't there
during the creation
I am just the messenger,
I’m just the decoder.
So yes, a woman
is allowed to have feelings
just like you're allowed to have feelings.
But it's how she expresses those feelings
that counts.
Is it mature
or is it immature?
Is it safe for you
or is it unsafe for you?
Men can be the victims
of abuse from women.
It happens a lot.
And ladies,
if you are watching
or gentlemen if you think a woman
should hear this next bit please share this video.
Ladies, you know darn well
you can be rational,
you can moderate your feelings
because guess what, when you do that
you do that with other women.
Because if you treated other women
the way you treat your men sometimes
you would have no friends.
You know this I know this
don't treat your man poorly.
Be as kind as you
would want to be treated.
Do unto others
as you want to be done unto you.
Well Anna,
he should have been up.
No, you should have made that point clear
a long time ago how important it was.
And that if you couldn't make it
you were going to be disappointed.
Or that you would understand truly
that his health is important,
his work is important.
Sorry, I’m going to rant here because
I want to shake people.
All right, let's get to the next point.
Fellas,
if she likes to start
fights via text
she is a drama mama,
red flag.
Now, if you've watched some of my other videos
you know that women also need
a little bit more stimulation
than men do in general.
But for a single mom
generally having a kid
already provides
a lot of stimulation.
There's a lot of things
you have to think about when you have a kid.
So, if she has to go to the next mile
to create drama on top of that
she's emotionally damaged
not good, red flag.
So, WTF continues.
He says so we get into it after
and she ends up bringing the kids
but she tells him she can't fake
being positive about it.
Now, I’m not sure if he means that
he ended up going and meeting them there
or if
she went without him
and you know just wasn't happy
when she was there because he didn't show up with her.
I think it's the latter but either way
it's actually not a red flag
that she's upset about this
or that she's disappointed.
As I mentioned before
we're allowed to be disappointed,
we're allowed to have expectations
and we're allowed to have feelings and disappointments.
How they're expressed that's important.
And in fact, key point,
you actually don't want a woman
who's going to fake her feelings with you
because then
that's a sign that she's a manipulator
or a psychopath.
Pretty sure you don't want either one of those.
If you want to know five ways
women tend to manipulate you
you will want to watch my video
on that.
So, back to WTF.
He says she basically told me
I hurt her feelings
and then she was crying
on the way home after seeing other people
there together.
(Sighs)
Okay, yeah,
fair enough she was disappointed
but she didn't do her part
in letting him know how important this was.
If it was that important
she should not have said from the beginning.
You know, it's okay
if you need to sleep for your work.
She would have said it's really important to me
and my kid that you're there with us
so can you really make sure
that whatever you need to do at work
is done so that you can actually
attend this with us is that something you can do?
Give the guy a chance to succeed.
Give him a chance to do
what he might want to do
so that he can be there for you.
Don't like bait and switch him.
It's okay if you sleep and then when he
actually does need to sleep
you're crap on him.
Uh, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
and no!
And he reminded her
that it wasn't that he didn't want to go
is that he needed to sleep for his job,
which brings us to
the single mom
type number four
you want to avoid at all costs.
The read my mind.
Now yes, most women
are guilty of this at some point.
Women somehow think because we are better
at being intuitive and reading hints in people
that we somehow are expert mind readers.
We're not, we're not at all.
Ladies, we're not mind readers.
We might think that something's off
but the reason we're thinking that's off
is not actually the reason it's off.
We notice that something's off
yes, a lot of men don't notice that part
but we use our own
perception and interpretation and experiences
to project a meaning on that
when it's not actually true.
Tip number four,
for both men and women.
Yes, we are more intuitive
about the subtleties of human
interaction and behavior
but we're not always right
about what it means.
Stop assuming
or if you're going to assume
give the person the benefit of the doubt
and assume positively.
That's what you would want.
So, she didn't communicate
in advance that this was important.
And then she crapped all over him
when he was bound to fail
and assumed he'd know better.
Umm, no.
Just the tip for men.
Single moms expect you
to step up even more for their kid
than you do for them.
That's just part of the package deal.
So, WTF continues.
They talked about this weeks before
she knows he works long hours
his job requires him to pay attention
because there's chemicals involved
and it can be dangerous if he screws up.
So, sleep is super important.
In fact, he actually fell asleep at the wheel
driving home,
which he failed to tell her about
until after
this incident occurred.
But guess what happened?
She didn't believe him.
Type of single mom to avoid
number five, me, me, me.
Not me, I don't have kids
that I know of.
Wait, I've always wanted to say that.
Anyway okay, anyway selfish.
However, we all must take
responsibility for our own actions.
So, here's one of two things that could have happened here.
One, he gave her a maybe
and she took it as a yes
and her kid took it as a definitely.
I can't do that
we've already talked about why.
Maybes give hope
and then when they turn into a nope
it's a double disappointment.
Number two, he should have told her
about the falling asleep thing at the wheel
when it happened so that
he could let her know
how much he needs his sleep.
So, that he can let her know
how dangerous it is
when he doesn't get enough sleep.
Telling her after the fact
will definitely make any woman
suspicious of the story.
Tip number six,
you have to take responsibility
where you can fellas.
The more you take responsibility
and own up to the things that
you know you would have done differently
or could have done differently or wished you had done differently
for your own integrity
the more she'll trust your words.
So, he finishes up by saying
this really disappointed me
and I’m starting to feel
like she really only cares about herself.
Just the tip number seven.
All single mothers
are more selfish
than single women without kids.
They have to be
they have a dependent
that they've got to look out for
and care for.
That's part of what makes them
good moms.
And in fact, if she's not
looking out for the best interest of her kid,
that's a red flag.
Because you should question her character.
So, do not date
an emotionally damaged single mother,
full stop.
You will end up losing
your mind, your money,
and possibly even your freedom.
Not all single moms
are damaged goods.
My mom was a single mom
my dad died when I was 12,
she chose to stay single
for 10 years after he passed.
Because she wanted to get her crap together
and she didn't want
to have somebody else
be an influence in my life.
She was protective
maybe overprotective.
She was a good mom
but she didn't have somebody else
come into that
and have to deal
with the baggage she was dealing with
and she was dealing with baggage for a long time.
But any mom, any single mom
who makes her current partner
pay for the sins of her choices in men
in the past or any of her choices
is a red flag.
Okay, let's finish off the story with WTF.
So, basically he's getting the shaft
even if he is giving her his shaft.
He needs to figure out
his standards, his expectations,
and his boundaries and he needs
to communicate that to her.
We teach people how to treat us
and it's much harder
to fix bad behavior down the road.
They're already trained
or they've trained you.
Warning,
if a woman is emotionally damaged
a narcissist or a psychopath
a man needs to create
an exit strategy
with proof
to safely get him out of a situation.
So, she can't
threaten trap or wrongfully accuse him.
I'm sorry guys,
it's so not fair but at least in the west
the laws are not in your favor.
Now if you've gone this far
you might be dating a single mom
or thinking about it or you have in the past.
And if you have sons
you might want to watch
my other two videos
on dating single moms
to avoid
and which ones
to possibly consider.
Watch those,
watch those now.
(Music)