I'm not cool.
No, I am actually, I'm very cool.
You are.
Of the three of us,
you were the coolest.
Yeah. Hands down. We know that.
I mean, you don't have to agree, but it's true.
Absolutely, 100%. Because she shoplifted-
Just be a little humble.
It is not even a question, everybody knows this.
It's true, it is true.
But okay, but just temper it a little-
You don't even need to say it, absolutely.
Maybe bring it back a little.
And you know what?
It's really easy to be that position
of the coolest outta the three of us,
you guys make it so easy. I'm never the cool one.
First of all,
I'm never the cool one, so I don't even try.
And I think in a weird way
that's what makes me the coolest.
(indistinct)
And you know what?
I'm neither, or, and in a weird way
that's what keeps me either/or.
(Sona and Conan laugh)
I'm just right there in the middle, man.
You're always-
you know what?
The first time I met you,
I was thinking this guy's always in the middle.
And he'll always be either/or neither/nor.
And man, you kill it.
I'm a real Joseph Lieberman-votin' kinda guy.
No one calls him Joseph.
What?
Hey, let me ask you about Pasadena.
It took me a while to remember who that was.
We're out here in Pasadena.
Joseph Lieberman.
I want the listeners to know
that we are out here in the night.
In the nighttime, in the backyard-
Risking our lives.
Matt Gourley's-
risking our lives, yes.
It took me an hour and 40 minutes to get here.
I'm on my A-game
And I was in a hovercraft, those things move.
That's how fast.
I believe that the president may have been in town today
because I passed a crazy number of motorcycle cops.
Yeah, I think that's true.
Thank you for doing your research.
Cool.
Fact checking.
It'd be great if there was a news show
and your job was to sit there drinking
and go, "I think that's true."
"They say that in the election, Chili's new president
will be Eduar-" "I think that's right."
I'm not joking, when you said Chili's,
I thought you meant the restaurant.
That's great.
I'm not even joking.
You are just trashed.
I'm not trashed.
You are trashed. You're a little trashed.
I'm not trashed.
I'm not, excuse me, I'm not.
You're feelin' no pain, how about that?
I feel like I'm in a good place.
Yeah, me too.
If I drink a little more, like another glass,
then we're gonna have a problem.
If you were still breastfeeding right now
and you fed your kids,
they'd both turn into Dean Martin, immediately.
(everyone laughing)
Both your little one-year-old twins,
they'd go to breastfeed.
I'd look away for a second, I'd look back,
and they'd have little fedoras.
"Uh, buh-buh-buh-boo. Buh-buh-buh-boo."
Full (crosstalk), yeah.
Oh god, I'd. love that.
"How's it goin'?
I think I'm gonna take another
suck on this nipple."
"I think I will, too.
It always puts me in mind of a tune."
(laughter)
I thought you were gonna play something.
No, no, no. Dean didn't play the guitar.
Where were we?
How can I rely on you?
You're supposed to be the anchor, Gourley,
and you're kind of messed up, too.
Well, I'm not messed up, I'm drunk.
Okay, that's fair.
I wanna say that-
We got your back, boss.
It is nice.
Yeah.
I was skeptical about this idea,
first of all, because I didn't wanna have
to get my passport to come all the way to Pasadena.
(Matt laughs)
Oh, Jesus.
No, I'm sorry.
It's just a long way to go. It's Pasadena.
Yeah.
And you look up-
but anyway, I figured out it's two hours ahead
so I know when to call my wife.
And so I get here
and immediately, I'm in a good mood,
the minute I hit your house.
Your house is beautiful.
Oh, thank you.
And gorgeous.
And your beautiful wife,
your beautiful daughter.
It's just lovely.
And then we have this Solo Stove
right in the middle of our campfire.
Now, I-
Solo Stove does not like me bringing them up.
They get embarrassed.
Even though they paid to be a sponsor for this.
Please, I don't think they did.
Oh.
I didn't even know that.
All I'm saying is I looked
at this beautiful device
which creates the perfect campfire.
Ah, yeah.
So nice. Really perfect,
and there's no smoke
and very little work because ingeniously,
they have digital air ducts.
Just gorgeous.
Beautifully, it's so well designed
that even you can't screw it up, Gourley.
Yeah, that's true.
So our thanks to the good people
at Solo for providing us with this stove.
You know what Matt just did
right before we started recording?
He put a thing in there
and the color of the fire changed.
You know what?
There's never been a less clear definition
of anything by anybody.
You'd be great-
It's true, I did that
and I don't know what you're saying.
It would be great if Sona was present
at great events in history
and had to explain what happened.
Ford's Theater, April 14th, 1865.
Bang. What happened?
Sona's here.
What is it, Sona?
Oh, there was noise.
Actor go, fall run, hat, hat man down.
Tyrannosaurus Rex? I don't know.
What Sona was trying to say
is that I think there's some kind of powder
or something that you put in the fire that made a color.
Solo Stove makes color packs
and they're these things that you just throw in
and then it changes the fire into different colors.
Now I'm kind of colorblind,
so I'd take it on faith that these things are cool.
It's so cool.
It said, at the bottom of the pack, "Wasted on Gourley."
A lot of products do.
It said, "Manufacturers note: wasted on Gourley."
Yeah.
Are you really colorblind?
I'm red-green colorblind, yeah.
Wow.
I can't see red and green
when they're in intricate patterns.
How has that - do you think - changed you,
altered your Life?
Well, Christmas is a real bitch.
'Cause you have a gray tree
and Santa's just a what?
Does Santa just look like a gray blob to you?
Yeah.
Santa just looks like, I don't know,
like some post apocalyptic wanderer.
I can see red and green,
I just can't see them in detailed patterns,
they turn kind of brown and green and stuff.
Okay.
But I'm doin' all right.
You didn't bring that up during the interview.
No, I didn't.
Interesting.
'Cause you know,
colors aren't really pivotal to podcasts.
Well, they will be.
What?
They will be.
Technology's changin'.