Heya playa, is there someone that you like that you want to ask out but there's one
glaring problem that stands in your way: you're just too shy?
Shyness is something that can really hold you back from pursuing the person that you want so
today I want to walk you through five massive tips that are going to help you get over your shyness,
start talking to that person and be more confident in who you are.
Talking to girls when you're shy or introverted might feel like an impossible task.
How do you even go about approaching them and when you do what do you even say?
You might be experiencing what's known as approach anxiety and basically what this means is that the
thought of even just walking up to someone and saying hi fills you up with dread, makes you
start sweating, makes your hands clam up, and just leaves you wondering "uh what do I say?".
"Okay, there she is. Now's my chance to go talk to her but what do I even say?
She barely even knows who I am. This is totally going to blow up in my face if I even try."
"Oh, hey"
"Uh... hey"
Don't worry, all hope is not lost.
If you're in a situation where you can talk to the person but you just don't know what to say,
the first thing I want you to focus on doing is preparing a talking point ahead of time.
Going into an interaction with the question that you want to ask them or a story that you want to
share is going to allow you to feel a little bit more prepared and not thrown off guard.
Plus, having an idea of what you want to talk about beforehand can help you practice a few
different ways to ask that thing and a few different ways to share that story
so that you can feel at ease when you do it.
And the way that you set up that initial question doesn't have to be super complex.
In fact, I'll link up a video over here where I break down exactly how to go about setting up
a scenario so that you can feel the most comfortable when approaching your crush.
But the gist of it comes down to this.
Basically, you want them to feel like you're asking them a question for a reason.
Maybe you want to get their opinion on something.
Maybe you and your friend are having a debate and you want them to be the tiebreaker.
Set up the story, set up the scenario and it's going to make it a lot
easier for you to start that conversation even if you're shy.
"Hi... um actually me and my friend were having a debate and I want to
get your opinion on something. What do you think is the best Marvel movie that
has come out so far? I personally love Black Panther, how about you?"
"Oh yeah? Hmm, I'd have to say Guardians of the Galaxy but you
know what Black Panther is really good too so I'm going to give you my vote."
Now you might be thinking, approach them? One on one and talk to them by myself?
No no no no no no no not gonna happen.
And I totally get it, approaching someone one on one puts a lot of pressure on both
of you to keep that person's attention and to keep things interesting and exciting
which is exactly why I want to share the second tip with you which is if you have the
opportunity approach that person when they're in a group or approach with your own friends.
Having more people there can actually take some of the pressure off of you and make it easier because
more people can interject in the conversation so you don't have to keep things going all the time.
Plus, if you're intimidated by the idea of talking to your crush directly,
talking to one of their friends and then talking to them or asking your
friend a question and bringing them into the conversation, having that group dynamic might
make it easier for you to stand out and to be yourself a little bit more.
The key here is to let your friends know what your objective is.
If they see that you're trying to get closer to your crush but you're a little shy in doing it,
they can always interject and be good wingmen.
That means sharing fun and interesting stories about you, asking engaging questions,
and just kind of picking up the slack if they start to notice
that you're stammering a little bit and not knowing what to talk about.
Speaking of creating an environment where your shyness doesn't get in the way,
the third thing I want you to focus on doing is approaching that person
in a setting where you already feel confident.
This could be a place where you know that you shine.
A place where you're comfortable doing what you're doing or you're taking on a leadership role.
To be fair though, confidence in a skillful environment doesn't
always translate to confidence in dating.
You could be a really good musician or really awesome actor but
you still might fumble whenever you talk to girls.
What I've come to learn though is that when you're in a zone where you have more control over your
environment, maybe you're the centerpiece of attention people are asking you questions,
people are looking up to you, people are praising you for the awesome things that you're doing,
it's a lot easier than to kind of see that girl that you're intimidated by like everyone else.
If she's approaching you like any other fan of your creative work, you now have the high ground.
Even if you're shy, you still have a bit of leverage in that situation
to talk about the thing that you know that you're awesome at.
"Hey, I saw your Instagram live stream yesterday. I didn't know you were so talented on the guitar."
"Oh, gee thanks! I mean I saw your name pop up in the bottom there but i didn't know you stuck
around to watch it. I've been practicing guitar for years now, just trying to get better at it."
"Well keep it up because you're like really good. When are you going live again?"
"Tell you what, I'll DM you the next time I plan on going live and we can talk there."
"Cool, shoot me a DM. I'd love to learn more about how you learn how to play guitar."
Do you see what happened there?
Let's go back for a second and review it.
"Tell you what, I'll DM you the next time I plan on going live and we can talk there."
If you're a guy like that who really struggles with having those in-person conversations,
follow tip number four which is to shift the conversation over to a
platform where you feel more comfortable talking.
That could be on Instagram, Snapchat, Discord, or wherever.
The point is to focus on the platform that you're gonna
feel the most comfortable talking to them on.
In-person conversations are ideal but if you're too shy and you're not ready for them
it's okay to message them and to start the conversation there.
I'd recommend starting a short in-person conversation where you take time to learn
about their hobbies or their interests or find something you have in common with them,
then let them know that you're going to DM them later to keep that conversation going.
That way you don't spend a lot of time in that uncomfortable place talking in
person and you could start to build the connection more and
more online to get ready for that re-emergence back into in-person.
But point number five is the one I think people don't spend enough time doing.
If you were to actually carry this out, you'd feel way more comfortable and
less shy talking to the person that you like and that's basically this.
Practice talking to girls that you're less intimidated by.
It sounds pretty straightforward and still kind of confusing, what exactly do I mean?
Well, if you're intimidated by the girl that you like and you feel like you're always shy
around her, chances are you think she's super pretty and super awesome and you're afraid of
that rejection so by focusing on conversations with other girls that you're less intimidated by
you could start to practice the skills of actually talking to girls.
Even if they're girls that you're not interested in dating or pursuing,
you could still work on that dynamic which maybe you're not getting in other ways.
If you only spend time talking to and hanging out
with the boys what experience do you really have communicating with girls?
This is why I think it's so important to befriend other girls to get their advice,
to communicate with them, to joke with them and flirt,
to even ask them out in preparation to help you build up those skills so that when you
do finally talk to your main crush you're going to be less shy because you've practiced before.
People spend a lot of times in their own heads overthinking situations
and it's not until you actually get out there and realize that people are people.
We all have the same desire to be seen and heard.
Whether it's your super hot crush or that girl in your math class that you just want
to be friends with, at the end of the day people want to be valued for who they are.
So, start working on that.
It's totally going to help you start to overcome that shyness little by little.
Remember, everything is small steps here.
You're not just going to jump into a super confident state and be able to talk to your crush.
Follow each of the tips that i shared in this video,
I think each of them will be super helpful for you on your journey of being your best self.
I'm going to link up a few videos over here which is going to talk more about
shyness and overcoming it check them out and I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.