[A cinamatic classic] *Halo theme song intro*
UUUUUUUhhhhhhhh . . . Thats the stuff [I know right]
Video games often create questions with very complicated answers.
Like, how come ancient dungeons that haven't been entered in centuries have lit torches?
Why is Halo 3 the best game ever made? [I have no idea]
AND WHY DID MARIO CALL BOWSER
G A Y
Halo 3 came out over a decade ago,
and just saying that makes me feel like a fossil.
2007 overall, was an incredible year for video games, though. We got titles like Call of Duty 4,
Mario Galaxy,
Bioshock,
Portal,
Mass Effect,
and of course... the reason you're here.
The BEST game of all...
DRAWN TO LIFE
HELL YEAH!
LET'S MAKE SOME ABOMINATIONS!
Oh, sh*t, I forgot, also this little indie game came out called "Halo 3"
It was alright I guess... Pretty okay game...
IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF I WAS A STUPID DUMB IDIOT BABY WHO NEVER LEARNED WHAT A VIDEO GAME WAS
The last time I spoke about Bungie was when I was scolding them
for making the dumpster fire in space known as Destiny. [How does fire burn in space]
But don't worry Bungie, this isn't round 2. [It is]
I'm actually here to compliment your amazing work.
Before Bungie was making sh*tty games about Super Space Soldiers that fight Aliens.
They were actually making GREAT games about...
Super Space soldiers that fight aliens...
Halo 1,
Halo 1, 2,
Halo 1, 2, 3,
Halo 1, 2, 3, ODST
Halo 1, 2, 3, ODST and Reach.
But now, let's talk about Halo 3 and why it's the single best Halo game out of them all.
And in my opinion,
the best video game ever created.
Now, I understand that a lot of the features I'm going to be praising in this game
were in Halo 1 and 2, but I feel that everything that those games had,
Halo 3 improved and went even further.
So, if you've never played any of the Halo games, I'm gonna go through it ALL
SO why is Halo 3 the best game ever made?
WELL LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU S T E P B Y S T E P!
*Suffering noises*
Lets start with the WEAKEST part of the game,
and before you hunt me down and stab me in the middle of the night,
Let me explain. [Studios]
The campaign is by NO MEANS bad,
Its actually FANTASTIC!
It's just that every single aspect of this game is so incredible
That the single player ends up being the least remarkable
I won't go into EXTREME detail on the story
Especially if you haven't played the first two games, but I'll summarize it for you.
GREEN MAN CRASHES ON EARTH
HE IS FOUND BY A COOL GUY THAT SMOKES A LOT
HE TRIES TO MURDER SPACE DINOSAUR BUT HE IS NOW FRIEND
IT IS DISCOVERED THAT A TALKING SCROTUM IS TRYING TO ACTIVATE AN ANCIENT ARTIFACT THAT GIVES HIM ACCESS TO A DEADLY SPACE DONUTS
AFTER A FEW FIGHTS, GOKU MAKES A SPIRIT BOMB AND DR. TESTICLE'S SHIPS ESCAPE THROUGH IT
AT THE SAME TIME, A STINKY EVIL PLANT SHIP CRASHLANDS ON EARTH
GREEN MAN SPRAYS SOME WEEDKILLER ON THE PLANTS, BUT FINDS A MESSAGE FROM AN E-GIRL
TELLING HIM THERE'S MORE TO COME. GREEN MAN AND DINO-PAL GO THROUGH THE PORTAL THEMSELVES
TO TRY TO MAKE IT TO THE ARTIFACT. WHEN THE GANG MAKES IT, THEY FIND THE PLACE LOUSY WITH PLANT FELLAS,
BUT THIS TIME THEY COME IN PEACE AND WITH THEIR POWERS COMBINED, THEY STAB THE LIVING SH*T OUT OF PROFESSOR SQUIDWARD,
SECURING THE CONTROL PANELS TO THE DEADLY SPACE DONUTS. THEY LEARN THE ARTIFACT IS BAKING
ANOTHER DONUT, BUT THEN THE HENTAI MONSTER SHOWS UP, SO GREEN MAN AND DINO-GUY FLEE,
FIGURING OUT THAT THE ONLY WAY TO FULLY DESTROY THE SPACE WEEDS
IS TO ACTIVATE THE UNDERCOKED DONUT, DESTROYING EVERYTHING, INCLUDING THE ARTIFACT AND
sh*t, who cares?
THEY ACTIVATE THE UNDERCOOKED DEADLY SPACE DONUT, DESTROYING EVERYTHING, INCLUDING THE PORTAL TO HOME.
GREEN MAN IS TRAPPED IN SPACE. HE GETS REALLY TIRED AND TAKES A FREEZER NAP
*Laughs*
*sigh*
If you play it on normal difficulty, you'll probably finish in 5-6 hours, depending on how good you are at games.
If you play it on legendary, however, you'll probably finish it with a broken controller.
*Suffering noises*
Okay, okay, I know. Skulls have been in, like, every Halo game, but, like I said, I'm going through everything.
and this is another reason why Halo is so f*cking awesome.
Skulls are a single hidden collectible found at almost every level of the campaign
and, later, were even in some multiplayer maps.
After finding a skull, you gain access to a crazy new setting for the campaign.
Each skull grants you something different, and you can add as many as you want, or none, or a few, it's up to you
Some make the game harder, like the Blind Skull, that removes your entire HUD
while others make the game hilariously silly, like the Grunt Birthday Skull
*Children cheering*
Where, now, if you land a headshot on a grunt, his head bursts into confetti and you can hear children cheering
over the fact that you murdered an alien.
*Suave voice* Perfection!
Now THIS is the big boy! The BIGGEST boy!
The OH LAWD HE COMIN
The multiplayer. The H to the ALO, the CORN to the DOG
The "How the f*ck did I die? That was such BULLSH*T!
The best part of Halo 3, hands. down. It's really the best part of every Halo game.
The amount of content in Halo 3's multiplayer puts current multiplayer games to f*cking shame
It had everything for every type of player,
Ranked and Unranked playlists that all had their own flavor.
Like Big Team Battle, where the teams were 8v8 on huge maps,
Doubles, where you and one buddy battled it out against two other people,
Lone wolf for those that liked a good free-for-all
or SWAT, if you liked gameplay that depended on your quick reflexes.
And that's only to name a few!
They were constantly adding more and more to keep the game super fresh!
So if Slayer, Oddball, King of the Hill, Capture the Flag, Assault, Territories, Juggernaut, Infection and VIP
weren't enough for you, well,
*Crash* GAME OVER
You better buckle up, this is where sh*t gets wild.
Halo 3's Custom Games was the absolute peak of multiplayer gaming.
For the next three years or so after Halo 3's release,
you could go into any of your friend's houses
and, chances are, there was an Xbox with Halo 3 in the disk tray just for custom games.
Halo 3's amazing game settings allowed you to create any game type you wanted.
Want a game mode where you run a thousand f*cking miles an hour with moon gravity and swords?
We got that.
How about a game type where your weapons work as paintball guns and one hit knocks you out of the game?
We got that!
Wanna get into massive cars and play the most dangerous game of bumper cars ever?
*coughing* whoops! We got that sh*t too!
Almost anything you can imagine has been a Halo 3 custom game.
I have played thousands of these different game modes, and they never get old, even ten years later.
So, now you're probably thinking, "Alright, that sounds cool and all, but what's the point
of having all these game modes with only a few dozen maps to play them on?"
*sigh* Lemme just say...
*Crash *Clatter*
This was a f*cking game changer, and I mean that literally 'cause it was used to change the game.
Forge was the new mode that was used to create and edit multiplayer maps,
and this was the single best addition to Halo.
It's now a mainstay in the Halo franchise, but Halo 3 did it first and it did it so well.
I would spend more time building maps in this game than actually playing them.
This mode alone created a huge community filled with talented and creative individuals dedicated to building
the coolest and craziest maps you could think of.
Jenga, Duck Hunt, Fat Kid, Left For Dead, Flaming Ninja, Halo, Trash Compactor!
Just grab a few friends and you'd be laughing 'till tears for hours with these game modes and maps.
Now that we've made it pretty far through this video,
we've baked ourselves quite the video game cake,
so allow me to put some f*cking icing on top!
*Man screaming fading into distance*
Wouldn't it be great if we could record all these funny and cool moments
as well as share our creations and game modes?
*laughing*
FOOL!
Halo 3 has you covered again!
Theater mode let you record any moment from your past played games from any angle.
You can also take photos, and some people got really creative with this sh*t
Here are some of mine I made, like, ten YEARS ago.
Pretty cool, huh?
Now you've got all these maps, modes, photos and videos and you want to share them with your pals.
That's where the file share comes in.
Here, you can upload your creations, and anybody can download them just by visiting your profile
so, you can make friends online simply by saying in a public lobby:
"Hey guys! I got a really cool new Infection map! Wanna play?"
"Aw, yeah, dude! Invite me!"
Halo 3's community was un. paralleled.
From competitive to casual to building to playing, it had it all.
I have met some of the nicest people on Halo 3.
Speaking of which, hey, Nathan!
If you're watching this, I hope you're doing well, bud.
Looking at almost every. single. popular multiplayer game streaming on Twitch right now,
literally none of them have even close to the same amount of content Halo 3 has,
and that was ten f*cking years ago!
Now, to be fair, later games like Halo: Reach did improve the Forge and had an amazing campaign,
but it did make terrible changes to the multiplayer that hurt the competitive side.
And even though Halos 4 and 5 were pretty fun, they just didn't have that Bungie charm.
ALSO, HALO 5 REMOVED SPLITSCREEN ENTIRELY!
HOW THE F*CK COULD THEY DO THAT?
Removing splitscreen in a Halo game is like removing cars in Grand Theft Auto!!
Halo 3 was and is incredible in every way you can think of
It set a bar so high that I don't think any game, even to this day, has topped it.
It's a little bittersweet, because I truly believe that I will never enjoy a video game
as much as I did Halo 3, but I'm glad I got to be around
for what I believe was the best time in video game history.
*catchy rhythm*
(yep, just shnazzy music) *catchy rhythm*
*catchy rhythm*
[text in brackets] by anonymous contributor, felt like I needed to keep their "charm", but I did all the stuff they were too lazy to do. Appreciate their work, just wish they could have done more than the first quarter.