Hello my wonderful friend!
In today's video I'm going to be answering the question "Toxic Girlfriends and Toxic
Women Are They Even Real?"
If you have ever felt like maybe something didn't add up but maybe you were just making
it up, put your mind at ease, you are going to really enjoy what you learn in this video.
I will be sharing what I have learned from an incredible amount of personal experience
as well as extensive research.
I think what you're about to hear may really, really surprise you.
Before we get started, if this is your first time watching one of my videos be sure to
subscribe and ring that notification bell.
My name is Melannie, I'm a dating and relationship coach for Christian men.
I help men find and attract the girl of your dreams, so be sure to subscribe, ring that
bell, and give me a big thumbs up.
Now we're going to start with a story.
And this is actually my story, my story with toxic relationships.
I am obviously not a therapist or a councilor or anything like that.
However, I did mention I have had a ton of personal experience with toxic people and
toxic relationships.
One day, I had just gotten out of another stupid breakup and I was reflecting back on
my life, and I realized that I was dating the same types of guys.
I was basically dating the same guy but with a different face.
And that hit me between the eyes guys.
It felt like somebody had slapped my face.
I was horrified.
I kept attracting and dating and being attracted to toxic guys.
And it was hurtful and it was harmful.
And that really is a slug to your gut.
You're like "Holy cow!
What am I doing wrong?"
Well, my sister had invited me to go to a relationship class with her in our community.
And I did not want to go, guys.
I was a little bit bitter and I was upset and just kind of hurting.
But I love my sister, she didn't want to go alone, because you know girls don't like to
do things alone, so I was like "Okay fine, I'll go.
I can do this.
But I'm doing it for her."
Little did I know, you guys, that I needed this so badly.
This little decision is actually what led me to what to be a coach and to get my certification
to be a life coach and a confidence coach.
I realized that there are toxic people out there.
This is something I did not know.
As we went through that class and went through that program everything suddenly became clear
to me, everything started to make sense, and I started to realize that my life and how
I grew up was not normal.
All this time I thought it was normal because it was all I had ever known, which happens
to so many of us.
We just assume how we grew up was normal and all to be expected.
But the truth is, it was very not normal.
Something a lot of people do not know about me is I am actually an abuse survivor.
I grew up with an incredibly abusive father.
And what so often happens when you have an abusive parent or an abusive anyone in your
life, is they will only let you associate with other people who are abusive.
They know that if you associated with anybody else you would realize it's not normal, you
would get some help and you would get out.
So I was surrounded by toxic and abusive people for most of my life really.
Basically any kind of abuse you can mention I have experienced and I have lived through
and have come across on the other side.
Which is why I see myself as an abuse survivor not an abuse victim.
Now, as I mentioned I had an abusive parent and I had a large group of people around me
who were also abusive.
And my friends were either incredibly toxic with incredibly toxic parents, or my friends
had incredibly toxic parents and were bullied and abused as much as I was.
Now when I went through this class and I started to realize all of this, I started to realize
that toxic people are real.
And that's something so many of us don't even realize because we're just nice people.
We just want everyone to be happy and we think other people do as well.
But the truth is there are toxic people is this world, it's the wolf in sheep's clothing.
As sheep we think everybody else wants to be sheep because why wouldn't you?
But the truth is there are mean people out there who want to be the wolves, the ravening wolves.
I like to call these people adult bullies, because essentially that's all a toxic person is.
Now as soon as I became aware of this and as soon as I recognized the toxic source in
my life, the main toxic problem, which for me was my "father", my whole life changed
and I was able to gain freedom and clarity and happiness that I had never experienced before.
So, what are toxic people?
Let's just address that for a minute.
As I mentioned I like to call them adult bullies.
Remember back when you were in high school, or pretty much any kind of school, remember
the bullies?
They would manipulate, they would gossip, they would lie, they would hurt you, just
because they got a sick thrill out of it.
So many of us assume that because we grew up and we moved on that those people did too.
But the truth is, there are adult bullies.
There are so many adult bullies, and they still enjoy hurting people.
Now I know I am not the only one who has experienced something like this.
So if what I'm talking about is really resonating with you give me some support, leave a "Yes!"
in the comments below.
So the answer to "Are there toxic girlfriends and toxic women?" is yes, there are.
I have personally, both when I was growing up and now as an adult and as a coach, I have
seen so many incredible men completely torn to pieces by women.
The world at large is becoming more and more familiar with the term toxic people and toxic
relationships, and they are starting to expose more and more narcissistic men and abusive men.
And that is good, I know what it is like to be abused by a man.
However, research shows it is actually pretty equal between the genders, you guys.
Okay?
So many people don't want us to know that.
But the truth is there are as many toxic women as there are toxic men.
And this is why, I'm sorry guys, you're not safe to just assume you're not going to mess
with one.
Growing up, one of my very best friends, I saw him torn to pieces by his own mother.
I watched her embarrass him publicly.
I watched her talk him down and tell him and everybody else how stupid he was.
I knew this kid, he was one of my dearest friends, loved him to pieces, and I knew he
was actually amazing and incredibly smart.
But she ripped him to shreds because she was a toxic mother.
I have known men who dated girls who ripped them to shreds.
I know men who married who they thought was their dream girl only to wake up and realize
they were living a nightmare.
I will never forget the day a man came to me with tears is his eyes telling me that
he thought it was normal for his wife to hit him.
Guys, that's not normal, that's not okay.
Toxic people are very much real.
As an abuse survivor this is something I'm incredibly sensitive to and it's also something
that I understand on a deep, intuitive level having experienced it.
So what is my point in today's video?
Why did I feel the need to share all of this really personal information with you?
Guys, toxic women are real.
Toxic girlfriends are real.
Every time I see a man who is hurt by a toxic woman, it hurts me a little bit inside.
So many of us grew up like I did.
We just assume that people are nice, we are people pleasers, often our parents are just
nice people, and so we just assume people want to be nice.
But the truth is just because so many of us want to be nice, not everyone does.
And if you are not aware of the signs and if you do not know about it, you can be completely
taken advantage of.
And guys, I see this all the time.
It is not something that we are safe from unless we are actively guarding ourselves
against it.
So if you are watching this video then there's a really good chance that you have asked yourself
"Am I making this up?
Is this real?
Maybe she really is nice, maybe it's not her, maybe it's me."
I'm sure you've heard the saying "Oh, it's not you, it's me."
Well when it comes to toxic people, guys, it's not you, it's them.
So what can you do about this?
How can you help protect yourself, to make sure you don't end up with one of those toxic
women or a toxic girlfriend?
Well, it just so happens that guys, I just completed my new online course that you guys
actually have been asking for.
It is called Freedom From Toxic Girlfriends and Relationships.
In this program I go through the steps and the signs of toxic girlfriends, how to identify them.
I also share with you how to identify a healthy relationship.
Because the whole goal here is for you to get to that ultimate dream relationship.
So it's very important to know how to do that.
I also explain some of the things that keep us stuck in toxic relationships and some of the
things that keep us from moving forward into healthy relationships.
Toxic relationships are really just like a cycle.
And if you can break that cycle then you can have the freedom and happiness that you're
longing for.
So if you want to learn more about that there is a link in the description below.
In addition to that be sure to check out this video which is Signs of a Toxic Girlfriend.
And be sure to check out this video which is More Signs of a Toxic Girlfriend.
I also have Signs She is Using You.
All of those are in the description below.
And if you have ever felt like maybe toxic women are attracted to you, or if you've wondered
maybe why you might be attracted to toxic women, I have some free training for you you're
going to love.
In this free training I go over some of the most common reasons toxic women might be attracted
to you.
And they happen to be some of the same reasons you may be attracted to toxic women.
So there is a link to that down below, it will ask for your name and your email.
As soon as you enter that information I will send it your way.
Be sure to check it out!
Thank you so much again for watching my amazing friend!
I know that was kind of a more heavy topic than I usually cover.
This is something that is honestly so near and dear to my heart that I just have to share
it with as many people as possible.
If you have ever felt like maybe you had a toxic girlfriend or a toxic woman in your
life, I would love it if you would leave a comment with some of the things you wish you
had known, in hopes that it can help other people and maybe help inspire a future video.
If you enjoyed what you saw and if it resonated with you in any way be sure to leave me a
big thumbs up.
Also be sure to subscribe and ring that notification bell.
If we're not yet friends on social media be sure to check out the links for that in the
description below as well.
And if you have a friend who is struggling with this, who might have toxic girlfriend,
be sure to share this him as well.
Sharing is really caring when it comes to relationships and your friends.
Thank you so much again my amazing friend and have an amazing day! [blooper beep]
I hear a jet.
Jet jet jet jet jet.
[chuckle]
Um.
I was trying to think of a funny pun but it's not coming.
I'm sure you'll think of one Mitch.
You can show it up on the screen.
If you think of one.
[chuckle] I'm sure you will.
"I'd like to get started but not just jet!"
[laughter] Just kidding.
That's so dumb.