I received my first tooth at the age of two and a half.
This was, by all accounts,
particularly late in a child's development and meant that I was also late to be weaned.
I did not enjoy teething so much.
Its unpleasantness developed in me a certain disregard for these heart buds erupting from my gums.
I found biting with conviction on firm objects to be of benefit and suitable punishment for the teeth.
I would take to chewing anything I could get my young mandible around.
Surprisingly,
my teeth survived this intentional barbarity only to be defeated by an oh, so sweet sticky toffee apple.
This victory was short-lived. These were primary teeth and primary teeth are only present to make way for adult teeth.
They sprouted in you.
By the age of six and a half. I had unfortunately now gained a complete and fresh set.
I had no interest in their welfare. I only had interest in the sugariness that passed them by and settled on my tongue.
My first adult tooth was not a victim to my thoughtlessness
But was in fact knocked out. At eleven years of age a pre-planned chance meeting behind the school
resulted in an inconspicuous
bicuspid becoming an absent bicuspid. The gap left by this missing tooth
was thoroughly explored and enjoyed by my tone of fond reminiscence.
I reached the age of 48 continuing to lose teeth.
By then I had lost enough teeth to begin missing them in my day-to-day
mastication of food.
Even if my tongue was now
lavishing in the smoothness of it surrounds.
Lost three more through medical intervention and through necessity
I gained my first set of dentures. With them.
came a revelation.
It was only then
presented with the disembodied enamels that the full beauty of this substantial link between food, tongue, throat and stomach
became apparent.
I began to place the form of the teeth above the function
vetting and analyzing food for potential risk of the teeth falling foul,
Many foods in fact became avoided.
Avoided or mashed.
filtered
Separated and mashed again all for the sake of keeping my prosthetic teeth
pristine.
My fascination with teeth
soon began to spread outside the realm of my own and into those of other toothed animals.
I marveled at their efficiency, the specificity.
These wondrous beasts that had no need to worry their minds about their teeth. They were blessed with
immaculate design. I would take inspiration from them.
I began to think
about how I could combine these specialists points, that perhaps I could improve on my previous god-given and
god-inspired
dentures. I realized the perfect cutting,
tearing and mashing tools.
At the age of sixty-two, I separated the species and sorted the teeth into categories of size and shape.
I gathered my resources and set to work on the construction.
Through my thorough studies, I became convinced that I had come to a combination of interspecies teeth...
That could not be better matched.
My meticulousness
meant that they were not finished swiftly.
But they would be of utmost quality.
In my 70th, the impressive and fair set of teeth were complete.
In my 71st year, I lost the tip of my tongue.