Hey, what's up GG (guys and girls)? CouilleBleu's back today to play...
Here are the runes, masteries, skill distribution and items that you'll need to penetrate any lady's jungle, if you get what I mean.
In the laning phase, you must use your Kitty Claw on that bunny's booty everytime it's available to witness some really ridiculous damage and,
because of that, no one will dare to pickpocket a minion when you're nearby,
that fatherfucker will stop chasing you after being scratched by Garfield
and that surprised stripclub fuckabish will have to take the long road to get back in lane.
But, if you want to become a mad beast, you must fist that dog in the asshole non-stop until he leaves the lane like a pussy.
What? You got your balls kicked in the process? Then become a Ninja Turtle and recover them by stealing the minion's seeds.
When you're ready to K.O. your opponent, you have to stun him with a Double Fist on the balls, use Catwoman's special ability to damage him a bit,
become a Ninja Turtle to shield yourself from the puny damage done by that guy,
stun him once again with another Double Fist in the back hole and use a Kitty Claw-Ignite combo to teach him who's the boss in the club.
If you're mid and the wannabe Dark Magician Girl throws some peanuts at you, just Flash-Kitty Claw combo that faker to force her to use that Flash and,
if she comes back for more, she will deeply regret her dumb decision.
A weak little boy's trying to get some family money? Give him a few smacks on the face and it's JAY JEY!
When you get your Sonic Boots, you will be able to drive faster than Baby Mario on his stroller
and that's why you should leave your lane to have a marvelous threesome with Mr. Dongers.
Hold on, ladies and gentlemen. Don't go back in your lane yet!
Since you're already on the move, why don't you go all the way to chinatown to bring a charming lady to a romantic candle dinner
and if she doesn't want that shit, well she can't really refuse your invitation or she'll get run over by Bob The Sexy Builder.
Hey, hey, wait a second, little excited dude.
Don't you dare go back in your lane yet because you have to spank that chibi pervert once more for not being a nice kid on Christmas' Eve.
If the jungler that held your lane while you were on your trip is getting buttfucked by that dirty dog,
it's time to come back to your initial position to save your friend in distress by slapping that dog with a...
After you get your Trinity Phreak, killing a squishy baby girl will be easier than playing Barbie Dreamhouse Party.
Thanks to your Ghost and your Youmuu's Ghostblade, you will run faster than a cheetah and no one will be able to escape from your claws.
When you get all your armor penetration items, you can be sure that this poor woman will feel your Cheetos all the way inside.
In teamfights, your job is to do everything you can to protect your teammates from getting killed.
If someone goes down, you take down his killer, simple as that.
Then, if you spot a little cougar, you have to K.O. her with your Double Punch-Kitty Claw combo before running in the jungle to tell Tarzan that you fisted his personal bitch to death.
If you don't want to be your team's bodyguard, you can just do your own things with the enemies while your allies and some minions gangbang Mr. Pedobear.
Don't be scared, my friend. You'll be so powerful that the enemy carries won't be able to send you to the hospital.
You know, if a persistent fuckabish doesn't want to leave your pet alone, you can hide in the Fog of War before yelling...
If she's out of your reach, you can just abuse the daughter in front of the parents to make Leblanc regret her actions.
After that, you have to follow mama and papa until they go back home to lock them up there indefinitely for being the worst parents of the century.
That's it for today, people!
Don't forget to check out my channel for more boring League of Legends videos.
Feel free to leave a comment in any language you want, but I will only answer those in English and in French because I'm a racist fuckabish.
Ciaossu!