- (Anthony) I know, the Butler did it! - (Ian) Shut up!!!
Hey, mom, I'm just calling to let you know
that I won't be able to make it to dinner.
I have to go this stupid party that Anthony's throwing.
I'll talk to you later. Love you--
not really though--bye.
What the hell is that?!
Uh...(nervous chuckle)
Welcome my Murder Mystery Party!
(forced laughter)
What're you talking about?
Y-Y-You've been invited to help me solve
one of the most complicated mysteries of all time.
Who killed that mailman?
Oh, that's a woman, so it's a mailwoman.
Mailman!
Okay, mailwoman just sounds weird.
Have you ever heard anyone say that?
No, don't be stupid. It's mailman!
So is she really dead?
Yeah, of course she is.
Come on, man, this is so exciting.
It's like we're part of a real mystery!
Uh, no we're not. You were here alone
and you're covered in blood.
(splutters) I fell down the stairs.
We don't have stairs in this house.
Yeah, dude, that's part of the mystery!
Okay, it's not a mystery. You obviously killed her.
(gasps) Look!
A clue!
Look at this! It's a footprint.
It looks like a size nine.
Yeah, it looks just like your shoe print.
Ah, no, this is the most popular type of shoe on the planet.
Plus, they're actually really comfortable to murder people
while wearing them. Not that I would know that.
See, you basically just admitted you murdered her.
Oh my god, dude, it's another clue!
Oh my god!
It says..."Another person will die within the next 64 seconds."
Dude, that's your handwriting.
Uh, no, judging by this handwriting, this man is obviously a criminal genius!
Okay, just get up.
This is the invite you gave me to your party!
It's a perfect match!
I never sent you an invite.
Hmm, this man must've meticulously studied my handwriting,
and then perfectly forged it so it could invite you here
so you could be the next victim!
Okay, who's to say it was a man?
I mean, women can be killers too.
No, well, statistically speaking, most serial killers are single,
lonely white males.
Oh, so basically you.
Well, no, actually most people think I'm Mexican so I don't--
No, Anthony, it's definitely you!
I don't know why you killed the mailwoman, but--
- Mailman! - Mail...MAN--
Thank you.
But either way, I'm gonna have to call the cops.
But I didn't do it. I swear!
Okay, then who did it?
I don't know. Maybe that guy.
(screams)
Hey, I got an invite to a party here.
Something about hot grills, a barbecue or somethin'?
No, dude, that clearly says "hot girls"!
Can you not read?
Is that a dead body?
- Yes. - No!
I'm callin' the cops 'cause I'm not going to jail for y'all--
(shrieking)
(clattering noises)
What the sh*t is this?!
The power must've gone off during the raging storm.
Dude, it's completely sunny outside.
Where the hell did a bookshelf come from?
We don't even own books.
And I barely know how to read.
What?
Okay, so he must've been trying to escape 'cause we found out
that he was the killer, right? And then he ran and bumped
into the bookshelf, and it fell on him. It killed him.
Or you just killed him because you saw him trying to dial 911,
which is what I'm gonna do right now.
Wait, look!
(grunting) Mmm, I'm really getting that stretch on! Aah!
I bet that's the killer!
Come on, man, grab your camera and get a picture
- before she escapes. - Dude, she's just some girl
getting her stretch on.
Or that's exactly what she wants you think.
Okay, come on, man! Grab your camera and get a picture!
All right, all right.
Seriously?
See, she was the killer, all right?
Okay, then why is she dead?
Uh...she was so overcome with guilt that she killed herself?
Oh my god. Dude, that's the worst excuse ever.
Just come clean! You murdered all these people.
I'm your best friend, man. Come on, you're just gonna
have to believe me.
(sighs) Sorry, dude, there's no other option.
(mailwoman) Oh, really?
(cackles)
Mom?!
He wasn't the killer at all.
It was me!
So, wait, you're not actually dead, but you really did invite
that guy over and kill him, and also that random girl
stretching outside?
That's correct.
Wait, were you gonna kill me too?!
Hadn't decided yet.
Wait, why did you do all this?
To teach you boys a valuable lesson.
Duh!
A valuable lesson about what?
I don't know.
Didn't think it through that far.
Did you boys learn something?
I learned that my mom's a murderer.
And I learned that your mom is apparently really good
at covering me in blood without me noticing.
Good enough.
See?
Told you I wasn't the killer.
I should've never doubted you, man.
Ugh, dude, where do you think she got this blood?
(Ian's mom) Killed two hookers!
Mom!
(voice-over) Remember to always trust your friends
and never trust your parents because they probably just murdered
some random hookers.
Well, I guess I have killed a few hookers myself.
What the f*ck?!
(voice-over) Never mind, don't trust your friends either.
Don't trust anyone, I guess.
You're all alone.
Sorry.
(Ian) Hey, guys, thank you so much for watching this video.
It was totally based in real life. I know, it's crazy.
My mom's a murderer. I-I did not know that was a real thing
until last week.
Just in case you guys didn't know, the new season of Smosh Babies
just came out, so if you wanna check that out,
click the video on the right.
Whoa, you poop Nutella now? Can I try some?
Mmm!
Tastes like soiled diaper.
(Anthony) And to see bloopers from this video and this...
I am so glad no one's around to hear me fart.
..click the video on the left.
And click that little subscribe button 'cause if you're subscribed,
you're not gonna get murdered.
[captioned by Subtitle YouTube]