- What I'm gonna share with you in this video
is going to be the game changer
when it comes to attracting love.
It's gonna be the thing that turns everything
going in your favor.
It's gonna switch the energy dynamics
that you may be putting out.
Maybe you're putting out the energy
of wanting other people to choose you,
or you're putting out the energy
of I hope somebody chooses me,
or you might feel needy when you meet somebody
and you start dating, hoping they text you back,
checking your Wi-Fi connection,
seeing if it's not loading properly,
rather than understanding that when you shift your energy,
everything changes.
When I shifted my energy and what I share
with you in this video, everything changed.
The funny thing is that for a long time,
I was reading books,
and it was like books that were like, well,
this is how you change your energy,
but it's changing energy to then get a new result.
It's a form of, in a way, manipulation.
It's like, how can you, and what
does this person find attractive?
And if you could change yourself to that,
you'll eventually get that validation.
But when I changed my energy, I didn't have to do anything.
In fact, there were people I hadn't talked to in months,
but because my energy shifted, all of a sudden,
it's like the energy dynamics coming...
The flow is coming towards me again.
It was a very interesting thing that happened,
and it didn't even require me doing anything.
It's not something you do to create
this huge change in your vibration,
this huge change in the energy.
So in this video, I'm gonna share with you
the one thing that makes all the difference.
This is gonna be the thing that you look back on
in months from now and say, wow, once I did that,
everything began to change.
(bright music)
Welcome back another video.
My name is Aaron, and I help people
expand their consciousness.
Now, in this video, I'm gonna be sharing with you
how you can create the biggest shift in your life
when it comes to attracting love.
Now, I have to be honest with you.
I actually asked my shadow work integration coach.
This is a guy that's like a mystical unicorn.
He has a double PhD in psychology.
He studies Carl Jungian psychology, which is Carl Jung,
his teachings of understanding shadow work,
and I remember months ago,
I've been working with him for about a year,
and I remember months ago asking him about attracting love.
I'm getting ready to do this 21 day magnetic love challenge,
and what is your perspective on attracting love?
And he just kind of laughed.
He laughed at it, and I was like, well, what's so funny?
He's like, from the perspective that he came from
now that I look at it, I can see what he means.
Attracting love is a funny idea,
because what we do is we go and we think
we're going to attract something into our life
that is not already here,
and when it comes to shadow
and the unconscious motivations we have,
there really is no attracting love.
There is only becoming love,
realizing the sense of self and how we relate to other,
but also appreciating the sense of self,
and as we come more in alignment to the way we prefer to be,
we then see love as a reflection.
So it tilted the scale the way that I thought about this,
'cause I was like, oh, there is no attracting love.
You cannot attract love into your life,
because that's implying the love isn't already here,
and if you do, then you are most likely
attracting some kind of conditional relationship
that is not built on unconditional love.
It's probably a relationship that may be based
on some level of significance,
maybe somebody that's gaining some type
of value by being with you,
or maybe it's some level of exchange,
exchange like I do this for you, you do this for me,
but what changes everything is when you realize
that which you seek, that which you are trying to attract
is something you must become.
It is something that you must embody (imitating cat)
right meow.
When you embody that energy now,
what happens is then you can experience
a new reflection in your life.
You get in life a reflection of who you are being,
and most of us, if we go a little bit deeper
on the shadow work,
most of us are trying to attract people
that help us heal from our childhood wounds.
So people tend to attract people into their life
that replay the same childhood dynamic
that they experienced when they were kids.
They either take on the most positive aspects
or the most negative aspects of the parents.
That's because we are trying to heal from our childhood.
We tend to attract partners into our life
that can help us heal from our childhood.
So rather than us going down the path,
and you're gonna find a partner anyways
who's gonna help you bring these things up
in you regardless,
but the key is instead of focused on the other,
to focus on the sense of self.
This was a game changer for me.
This is what changed everything.
What I was originally doing,
now, I'm gonna actually point to the whiteboard, okay?
Here we go.
Authenticity and vulnerability is the key
to you really attracting love into your life,
knowing that attracting love is BS.
Attracting love is really about reflection.
So how can you most authentically
and vulnerably be yourself?
Now, think about this too.
When people give a shit what other people think about them,
they are not expressing themselves freely.
They are holding back their true energy
because they're trying to gain the validation
from someone else.
Now, for me, for a long time,
I was not being authentic in my relationships.
I was not even being authentic in dating
because I was so attached to what other people
thought of me.
I would hold myself back.
I also had the shadow of being what is called a nice guy
or a people pleaser.
What that means is that means I really value
your validation and your approval.
So I'm gonna change myself like a soggy little noodle,
like I'm so flexible, I'm gonna be whatever you need me
to be so that you can give me validation,
and you can give me that validation.
Now, the problem with this is that then,
especially with masculine energy,
I'm not being still on who I really am,
so through the dating process,
and through getting into relationship by being inauthentic,
that shit eventually comes up regardless,
'cause you can only put on the front for so long.
So what I had to learn is actually by holding myself back,
I'm actually being more inauthentic.
By me not being the real me,
by me caring about what other people think
and being afraid to be polarizing,
I'm not expressing myself freely.
I'm holding back the real me.
What this really was too, is I valued...
I valued approval and validation
over authenticity and vulnerability.
Now, you want vulnerability when it comes
to attracting love,
well, as a reflection, whatever you want to call this.
Vulnerability is the ability to put yourself out there
in a vulnerable way.
This is when a lot of people can initiate conversations,
because when you initiate, you go up to somebody.
Say you go up to somebody and say,
"Hey, I'd really like to go out with someone like you,
"here's my number" Or "Can I get your number?"
If you will do that, you're setting yourself up
to be you could possibly be rejected,
but when instead you start to see that that's
where vulnerability comes into place,
you stepping into the unknown,
you're putting yourself out there.
When you are most vulnerably being your true self
and you have the intent of being authentic,
it changes everything.
This is about changing your value.
A value as a virtue that you live by,
which is also normally tied to your identity.
If your top virtue is gaining people's validation
and approval,
then you are gonna lose and abandon
your sense of self for other, and it's inauthentic.
The key to this is valuing authenticity and vulnerability
over approval and validation,
more authentically being yourself,
because it's who you choose to be,
having the courage to step in this version of you.
As you have the courage to be this version of you,
you will notice that your life begins to change
in a very powerful way.
Yes, you will be more polarizing.
Some people, the people that love you will love you more,
and the people that don't like you
will see clearly that they don't like you.
That's a good thing.
You're saving yourself time versus putting on an act
of being someone that you're not.
That's not integrity.
So one of the things you want to commit to
is you want to commit to integrity to your word.
You want to be an integrity to who you are,
and you commit to that,
and when you find yourself inauthentic
or caring what other people think,
you re-bring it (fingers snapping)
back to the present moment, and you say,
what is actually authentic for me?
Now, one of the best things you can do as well
is realize what are the values that you want
in somebody you want to attract into your life?
And even right now, comment below,
what are the values you want to attract into life?
Maybe two or three values.
Maybe you want someone that is an integrity to their word?
Maybe you want someone that's loyal?
Maybe you want somebody that is nurturing?
Maybe you want somebody that shows up
when they say they're gonna show up
and does what they say they're gonna do.
They have strong follow-through.
Whatever you want in your partner, to attract love,
the key to you attracting it is you
living by those values yourself, knowing who you are.
When you are more in your own frame,
you are more magnetic.
People can feel your energy more.
And when you have a certain value system,
like say, you want to attract someone who is XYZ
and you start being XYZ,
when you go out, you have a lot more power
because when you're dating,
you're not just thinking, does this person like me?
Are they gonna give me approval?
You're going to get more curious,
like, oh, how does this person relate to me?
You're vetting them, not judging them,
but you're more curious to who are they?
It's a very powerful energy to be in.
And when you are embodying the values
that you want to attract,
that's where everything begins to change.
Now, another part of vulnerability
is being clear with your intention.
A lot of times, nice guys get put into a little box.
They're like friends, right?
Girls have no problem being friends with them,
and they have no problem showing
that they want to be friends with somebody else,
but they have blocks when it comes to showing
that they're actually sexually interested,
putting an intention out there.
That's because they're afraid of rejection.
The key is actually being clear upfront
with what your intentions are.
My intention's to get to know you.
My intention's to take you out on a date.
Being clear, yes, vulnerable,
because you could get rejected,
but being more vulnerable is the missing key
to you attracting that which you want,
and you being the real you and living by the virtues
you want to live by and what you want
to attract in your life.
Now, something that will help you with this process
is a meditation.
It's the most powerful meditation that I have.
It has over 4 million YouTube views,
there's thousands of people in the comments that say
that that meditation changed their life
or helped them attract love.
So when you read those comments,
it increases the belief inside of yourself.
It's completely free meditation, and you can see that below.
Also, if you haven't found out yet, or you don't know yet,
there's a free app called "HighViber".
That's where the high vibe tribe is meeting up,
that's where we do live meditations,
live workshops, live activations.
That's where there's also meditations
where you can easily listen to any time.
There's inner child, meditations,
there's so many of them, and it's completely free,
so if you want to check that out and go to highviber.com,
H-I-G-H-V-I-B-E-R.com or download it on Android or Apple.
It's completely free.
Connect to people that think like you,
people that have similar interests
and similar values as you,
and watch how that begins to change your life.
So with that being said, like this video, if you liked it,
let me know if you want more videos like this
that are just more raw with the whiteboard as well.
Other than that, as always,
talk to you in the next one, peace.
Much love, and namaste.